How to Hold Your Own Energy: A Recovering People-Pleaser Calls In

Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

Today on “The Language of Love,” I am doing a ‘Sessions’ episode! This is when I get to sit down with a caller just like you and do an in-depth session with them about anything and everything related to sex, love, soul, and more.

This week, I am talking to Carmen. Carmen is struggling to recover from a lifelong problem with people-pleasing. Carmen has set the intention to live her life differently and stop putting herself on the bottom of her to-do list. The problem now is that when she is with her family, her friends, or her romantic partners, she can slip into her old people-pleasing behavior or worry that she is harming her loved ones by not catering to them enough.

I talk to Carmen about how people-pleasing can lead us to ‘accommodate’ other people’s energies. We instantly switch to their energy frequency because we want to be on the same page as them and because people-pleasers have the instinctive, ingrained need to put their own needs and energies underneath that of everyone else around them. As a recovering people pleaser, she is learning how to ‘hold’ her own energy, which can be a difficult skill to master at first, especially if you have spent your whole life switching to other people’s energy.

So how can you learn to hold your own energy rather than accommodating everyone else’s energy? And what happens when your personal changes lead your loved ones to resist or push back against your transformation? Listen to this episode to hear my advice for Carmen, and for you!

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