I was born in the mid-70s, so I was the target audience for Transformers and GI Joe when they premiered over a quarter of a century ago. Join me as I apply 21st century perspective and adult logic to shows that were never meant to withstand these things.
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Jem refuses to stop giving a care.
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aka They Saved Bahnee's Eyes.
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Jem works tirelessly to save an orphan's eyesight.
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Production begins on the Jem movie.
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The thrilling conclusion!
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There’s going to be a commotion soon.
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I suppose Kimber does technically rebel in this episode, but it's an odd thing to use for a title.
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I'm starting to think those Misfits are no good.
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Much like Batman before her, Jem begins.
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He was once a man.
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What could make a better series finale than robot rat lizard monsters?
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aka ENEMIES MINE.
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You dweeb.
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Or any ghosts of any kind.
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Leatherneck and Wetsuit save the day while on a date.
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What a mess.
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You know what they say about snake dreams.
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Some (all) people aren't cut out to be leaders.
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Release the... dead horses.
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A holiday. With ninjas.
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The Joes visit beautiful LaCar City.
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Serpentor joins Mustache Squad.
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It's a Voltronic GALAXITER, not a Voltronic GALAXER. Obvs.
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The Adventures of Li'l Jaye!
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These guys got ROOKED!
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Dr. Mindbender? More like Dr. Moreau.
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"Low Life"?
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Introducing Cobra's deadliest agent yet: McCann!
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The Cobras throw on their Sunday best to raise some money... for evil!
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aka The Girl Who Loved Lifeline.
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By popular* demand. * ONE GUY WHO WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT THIS EPISODE
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So much nope.
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HELLLLLP!
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Zartannifer falls in love.
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Two Baronesses appear. Other stuff, presumably, also happens.
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The mini-series ends not with a bang but a lot of shouting.
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This man has the constitution of a vending machine!
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General Hawk's brain is deader than disco.
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Apparently this show had education consultants?! Who knew.
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Who will save Cobra? This shirtless, monocle-wearing former dentist, obviously!
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The stunning conclusion of this weirdly good, somewhat serious episode!
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This is not Shipwreck's beautiful house! This is not Shipwreck's beautiful former mermaid wife!
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It starts with "Coverta Fatale" and gets sillier from there.
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Cobra buys Russia with a cup.
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Quite possibly the greatest artistic achievement in the history of humankind.
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GI Joe meets Russian GI Joe! Also: aliens!
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Cobra takes over TV. Which is exactly as amazing as you think it is.
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Meet the new boss: a computer!
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Dusty's a traitor! Part 2!
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Dusty appears to be some kind of... TRAITOR! PART ONE!
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