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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family

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Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children ranging from 10 to 27 and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to grea ...
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In this episode, we dive into the beauty and power of family history. Mike shares the incredible story of his journey to Ireland—a dream rooted in a deep love for his heritage and a promise to pass it on to his children. From the ruins of his grandfather’s cottage to the windswept cliffs of the Aran Islands, the trip becomes a testament to the impo…
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“Guided and strengthened by God’s grace, husband and wife advance their own perfection… and contribute jointly to the glory of God” ~ Gaudium et Spes Summary You should never marry someone with the idea that you can change them, but we do need to help our spouses become the best version of themselves. We all should have a vision, a belief that our …
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Send us a text In today’s episode, we tackle your questions! No topic was off limits and we did our best to answer as many as we could! Let’s jump in! PRE-ORDER OUR BOOK! PRE-ORDER OUR BOOK FROM AVE MARIA PRESS! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for …
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Show me your checkbook and your datebook and I will show you what you value Summary So much of what we talk about on this podcast really hits home when it comes to how we spend our time. Family dinner, date nights, prayer time, even mass comes down to making time to do it. Four things determine how we run our lives and our family - talent, money, e…
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Send us a text Today's episode is part 2 of our take on one of the recent Pints With Aquinas episode featuring Mike Pantile and his take on Mutual Submission. We take a look at more Papal writings on Ephesians 5 and unpack the implications of scripture translation and theology of the body, Let’s jump in! The episode we reference: Red Pill to Cathol…
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“Genuine humility never disturbs the soul. Rather it is accompanied by peace, joy and calm” St. Theresa of Avila Summary What is the biggest problem in Catholic marriages? Although we appreciate good communication tools, marriage insights, and mentors - at the end of the day the biggest problem is simply a lack of holiness. One essential tool in ou…
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Send us a text In today’s episode, we give our take on one of the recent Pints With Aquinas episode featuring Mike Pantile and his take on Mutual Submission. We take a look at some Papal writings on Ephesians 5 and we try to add some nuance to the conversation. Let’s jump in! The episode we reference: Red Pill to Catholic: Embracing True Patriarchy…
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In this special Q&A episode, we dive into some of the most heartfelt questions from our listeners. From the complex question of whether to expand the family to grappling with grief, boundaries in marriage, and integrating elderly parents into a household, these issues strike at the core of family life. We also tackle how to balance the call to evan…
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Send us a text In today's video, we unpack some of the themes from our the most recent presentation we gave at the Diocese of Venice, Florida. It was such a joy to speak to married couples about how our love can spread the Gospel, and we thought it would be fun to elaborate some more on the themes from our talk. Let's jump in! PRE-ORDER OUR BOOK! P…
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“It’s important that we remember to talk ‘to’ our kids, not ‘at’ them” - Mark Hart Summary Parents are rightly concerned today about the influence of the culture on their teens. As much as we would like to put our kids in a teflon bubble to shield them from the false fake culture of the world, it is just not possible! What do our kids need from us …
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Send us a text Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you are benefitting in some way from what we're doing, here are some ways you can support our sh…
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It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than in a mansion with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24 Summary All of us do things that annoy our spouse. Occasionally, we do things that hurt our spouse and vice versa. How do we communicate about these situations? Is it effective to tell them what they have done wrong? Is that what the scriptur…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about play, Dr. Stuart Brown's research on play, and the importance of recognizing your spouses play personality. Let's jump in! https://nifplay.org/ https://nifplay.org/what-is-play/play-personalities/ Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT…
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“You can learn many things from toddlers! For example, how much patience you actually have.” -Anonymous One blessing of having ten kids is that we have matured and learned enough about kids to appreciate the toddler years of children #9 and 10 much more than those years with children #1 and 2. Our advice to parents of toddlers is to start by enjoyi…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about stress and how it can really make marriage hard. We reflect on a recent article from the Gottman Institute and share some real life examples from our own experiences. Let's jump in! https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-stress-can-cause-relationship-dissatisfaction/ Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.sh…
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Other Resources Welcome His Heart: https://welcomehisheart.com/ MFP 165: Forgiveness Brings Freedom and Transformation Videos - Evangelizing Your Kids and Forgiveness in the Family https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/pizza-and-parenting/watch/ Key Takeaways Parents must be very intentional about evangelizing their children and bringing them into …
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about the challenges implementing NPF and TTA can have on the romantic side of marriage. We reflect on how we started to reframe what we saw as burdens and how leaning in and keeping things romantic doesn't always have to revolve around sex. Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionab…
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“You and your spouse are a team that GOD wants together!” - Art and LaraineBennett Summary The first step in creating a dynamic family is to know the people who are in it! That starts with knowing yourself, then your spouse, and then your children. One of the tools that we love using for this knowledge is the classic four temperaments - choleric, s…
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Send us a text In today’s episode, we rewind and revisit Renzo’s time as a stay-at-home-dad. We often reference how this season of our marriage allowed for the healing we needed. Let’s jump in! THINGS WE MENTIONED What Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad Has Taught Me About Being A Husband Passivity and Relationships (a talk by Michael Gormley) Fr Mike Schmit…
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Your authority in the family does not come from perfection, it comes as a grace from your parenthood. Summary There are two kinds of families - those that are frantic and those that are fruitful. As Catholics we have an incredible grace to be fruitful families, but often our families don’t look much different than the secular, frantic families arou…
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Send us a text In today's episode we bring you the antidotes for, what the Gottman institute has called, "The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse". Last week was the red flags and this week it's the green flags! Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank y…
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Summary: In this episode, we explore several listener's questions about how to manage friendships when personal values differ, particularly in situations where children are involved. Mike and Alicia are joined by their daughter, Katie to dive into the challenge of maintaining friendships with those whose lifestyle choices may conflict with Catholic…
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Send us a text In today's episode we talk about some red flags to look out for when you're arguing with your spouse. We go over what the Gottman institute has called "The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse" and how they can predict divorce. Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 …
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Beauty resets our compass. It reminds us of who we are and what we are made for. ~ Andrew Peterson Summary Our children will grow no matter what, but how they grow and what they learn is heavily dependent on their environment. Parents can shape the world of their children to include beauty, freedom of artistic expression, and space to wonder. In th…
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Send us a text In today's episode we talk about some new terms that we just learned. Have you heard of these before? How do you and your spouse manage the differences in Spontaneous vs Responsive desire? Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you a…
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“21% of teens said their #1 concern was not having enough time with their parents. Only 8% of parents said their #1 concern was not having enough time with their kids.” ― Meg Meeker Summary After 13 years of marriage we had six children and were pretty confident in our parenting. But when our oldest daughter became a teenager, we felt like we neede…
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Send us a text Can Saints complain about their struggles? In this episode we talk about some amazing Blesseds who lived their ordinary lives in an extraordinary way. Let's jump in! Articles we referenced: https://aleteia.org/2017/11/25/blessed-luigi-and-maria-quattrocchi-ordinary-married-life-shot-through-with-glory https://www.vatican.va/content/j…
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Happiness is determined by our expectations…. If our expectations are modest… we will be happy; if our expectations are unrealistic, we end up disappointed. ~Bishop Anthony Taylor, Diocese of Little Rock Summary All of us come into our vocations with expectations. We have dreams and plans, but expectations are more like assumptions. We have our own…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about Renzo's issues with the concept of time and how we've slowly learned to apologize well. We hope this is helpful! Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what …
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The body is not meaningless, but meaningful - Jason Evert Summary Join us for this insightful conversation with Jason Evert, speaker and author. Jason has spoken all over the world and has created numerous resources for preteens and teens to dive deep into what it means to be free to love. Often parents feel under-equipped to talk about sex and cha…
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"Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit" Proverbs 25:28 Summary: Have you ever had a child melt down because they didn’t get what they wanted? How do we respond to emotional outbursts in our children? Self-control is an underappreciated virtue in our modern culture, but ironically, it is the on…
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Send us a text We JUST got back from Steubenville East and we leave in two days for another trip so this week we are rewinding to one of our most popular episodes. Let's jump in and we'll be back in a few weeks! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for …
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Join us for a special episode of the Messy Family Podcast, recorded live at the 10th National Eucharistic Congress in Indianapolis! In this episode, Mike hosts a lively discussion on the joys and challenges of family life. Mike, who flew in from Ireland, shares his family traditions and reflections on building a lasting legacy. Plus, special guests…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about reframing the purpose of marriage and shifting from the pursuit of happiness to the pursuit of something greater. Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what…
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Parent’s reaction to their children is more important than any consequence that they may give. It is our reaction that teaches our children. Summary One of the trickiest things for a parent is when they catch their child in a lie. Do you punish them for lying? Do you punish the offense? How do you teach the virtue of honesty when lying seems to com…
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Send us a text In today's episode, Renzo's ADHD comes out in full force and he changes our topic! How do you learn to love a spouse that functions so differently than you? Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We …
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Play is the work of childhood. Summary It seems like in today’s world, parents are judged by how many activities their kids are in and how committed the whole family is to those activities. We see this as leading to complete burnout for parents, but more importantly, it robs children of the joy of unsupervised, spontaneous time to just play. We exp…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about what it means to strive for greatness in your marriage and why greatness requires a little but of humility. Let's jump in! Our Codes! Mentionables: https://www.shopmentionables.com/TWOBECOME Inito: Inito.com CODE: MON15 SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do…
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Growing in holiness doesn’t require extraordinary actions, it requires doing ordinary things with great love. And there is nothing more “ordinary” in the life of a child than a parent. Summary Often when people talk about life with children, the focus is on just getting through their childhood with your sanity in one piece! There is some truth to t…
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Send us a text In this episode we talk about a very important question. If your wife asks you if she looks fat in her dress, what do you say?! We talk about the importance of trust in a relationship and how maturing together makes a tremendous difference. Let's jump in! SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we …
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Send us a text In this episode, we talk about the importance of remembering how temporary each season or era or life is. Let's jump in! SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you are benefitting in some way from what we're doing, here are some way…
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The greatest and most important collaboration you will ever have with another person is raising a child with your spouse. Summary Parents come to us with discipline issues all the time and our first question is usually, “What does your spouse think about this?” You see, the most important person to learn from is the other parent of this child you a…
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Send us a text In today’s episode, we use chapter 18 CS Lewis’s Screwtape Letters to help us talk about the role of infatuation and emotion in marriage. We’re so happy you’re here with us! Let’s jump in! SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you …
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Parenting isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It's about showing up over and over again no matter what. Summary Some may question how a celibate man could have wisdom for husbands and wives, let alone parents. But in this interview with Fr. Mike Schmitz, host of the Bible in a Year podcast, we think everyone will agree that his insights are awe…
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Our parents made us sisters, but God made us friends. Summary One of the greatest blessings of Alicia’s life is that God gave her 9 brothers and sisters to laugh, play, fight, create, and pray with most of her life! This conversation is from a girls getaway weekend with the five Doman sisters. Now, because all the Doman siblings are practicing Cath…
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Summary In this episode, we explore the essential aspects of training for virtue and the challenging task of granting freedom to our children. We emphasize the importance of always communicating that you are on their side as a mentor, teacher, and guide, expecting mistakes along the way. We discuss the value of risking giving your child freedom, ac…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we talk about summer bods and the need to grow in virtue. We talk about the reality of having to live in a human body as a parent, and how one's path to holiness is not necessarily the same as someone else's, let's jump in! SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray …
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The most important challenge you can take What does it take to be a great parent and have a joyful family? We think it all boils down to three essential elements. We have turned these three elements into the Play and Pray Challenge! More than ever, we need to celebrate the love of Jesus in the month of June, because it is HIS love and lordship that…
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Send us a text In today's episode, we take a look at some of the points in Harrison Butker's commencement address and we talk about the right and the incorrect points to some of it. We hope to be able to bring a level heads to a contentious discussion. Let's jump in! SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do …
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