Podcast Crappy Castles terbaik (2024)

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39 – Love is a Battlefield 42:38

1y ago42:38

42:38

Love is in the air! The damp, stinky, moldy air. Adron and Travis open the ex-files to educate you, the listener, on how to attract, keep, and potentially slay a mate with LOVE LANGUAGES. Plus: kissin' in kobold, literal love bombing, and Frico the Cheese Angel. You're welcome, Stephanies. 🏰 RE: RE: Date Your Boss! Have you ever wanted to rise up t…

1
38 – The Sleepy Seas 45:02

1+ y ago45:02

45:02

Happy nautical new year, nerds! This one has Adron, Travis, and Ian sailing the seven sleepy seas to create an adventure that can help some old fogeys stay awake. (Fogies? Fogerties?) Plus: rabid sleepytime bears! Plant clones! Weak shanty attempts! Wow! 🏰 RE: RE: New Year, New You Clippings To all Royals and Royals employees: we see that you are t…

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37 – O Tannenbomb! 37:01

1+ y ago37:01

37:01

🎄 Sweet silver bells, it's Ian and Travis! 🎄 And they're building a festive edutainment adventure that teaches the storied (and controversial) history of your Yuliday tree. So listen up, because there is a quiz afterwards, and it IS mandatory! Plus: attack of the Wintaur! Saint Steve sucks! And Travis spilled soda on his hat! 🎄🎄🎄 RE: RE: [AUTOMATED…

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36 – BABY'S FIRST BOSS RUSH 37:40

1+ y ago37:40

37:40

Ooh baby, this one is a doozy! Ian's out because he had a baby, so Adron and Travis are coming up with baddies to toughen the little sucker up! Personally I'm scared of the pigglies who are going around haunting toes... Plus: three Miatas! Ye olde Best Western smoking policies! And baby eldritch blasts! 👶 RE: RE: To all parents of Royals and Royals…

1
35 – Shanksgiving 2022 33:04

1+ y ago33:04

33:04

HAPPY SHANKS, Y'ALL! Ian and Travis talk the best ways to turkey proof your home from the Shanksgiving serial murderer aarakocra Jack the Flapper. Plus: Ian's pregnant! Travis learns about half baths! Turkey wieners! 🦃🔪 Dear underlings, Apparently I have upset Jack the Flapper with the most recent podcast and he is taking extra special interest in …

1
34 – Oops! Fall Druids 34:38

1+ y ago34:38

34:38

OH MY GOURD. Travis and Ian nestle in to share cider recipes and the best way to stay cozy while adventuring and covered in pumpkin guts. Or demon guts. Either way, its natural and so we support it. 🏰 To all Royals and Royals team-members— The employee refrigerator in the break room is there for you all to use, but we have to establish a few rules.…

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33 – So Cool It's Spooky 45:30

1+ y ago45:30

45:30

Aaahh!!! Real hipsters! Ian, Travis, and Adron teach all of us nerds how to prepare for a cool people Halloween party. The answer involves lots of bird meat and very little clothing. Plus: Adron's first stand-up meeting! The coolest hat ever! And invisible make out sessions! 🏰 To all Royals and Royals team-members— You may have noticed four very sk…

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32 – Cursed-de-Sac 44:26

1+ y ago44:26

44:26

JUMPSCARE! Travis and Ian are making a modern horror story set in the spookiest place of all: the suburbs! It's a choose-your-own adventure that is equal parts trick AND treat! Plus: shin kicks, loose s'mores, and lengthy descriptions of garage paint! 🏰 To the witches and warlocks of Royals and Royals- The cinnamon brooms are intended as seasonally…

1
31 – Kiosk Quest 39:03

1+ y ago39:03

39:03

In this extra crappy episode of Crappy Castles, the full squad of Travis, Ian, and Adron dive deep into the socio-economic structure of malls and their current state of abandonment. Also we coin the term "Fluffback" Tell us how you have started incorporating the word Fluffback into your everyday speech by sending us an email at wellmet@crappycastle…

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30 – 2 Fast 2 Mad About It 38:02

1+ y ago38:02

38:02

This one's for the speed freaks. Enjoy the Undeath Race 500, The Ranger Zone, and more high speed, high stakes one shots! Plus: snackable wine skins, taurtaurs, and Tasha Yar is there! IF YOU HAVE A TREANT / DIABETES JOKE, PLEASE SEND IT TO WELLMET@CRAPPYCASTLES.COM 🏰 FROM: dcrosby@mindspring.comSUBJ: Sent from the Trek Plane Dear Crappy Castles, I…

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29 – Escape from Wisconsin 35:20

1+ y ago35:20

35:20

Lactose sensitive adventurers BEWARE! 🥛 Travis, Adron, and (GASP!) Ian create a world that is so immersive, so rich, so creamy that it MUST be Wisconsin. Plus: How is Ian back? Did Adron actually mong cheese? How quickly do cheese curds multiply if they're alone in a crawlspace? THE ANSWERS WILL BE CHEESY! 🏰 RE: RE: Don't Feed The Company Man Some …

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28 – Five Stages of Grief 36:48

1+ y ago36:48

36:48

Travis Royals and a SPECIAL GUEST CO-HOST attempt to design an adventure to help one special listener deal with the loss of their favorite podcast co-host. (Note: It is totally not the former co-host of this podcast, Sir Ian of the Hills.) Plus: deals with god, Michael's Bay, and how to roll a d2. 🏰 RE: RE: The Candlelight Vigilantes It has come to…

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27 – The Company Man 33:24

1+ y ago33:24

33:24

Travis has shunted Sir Ian into a strange pocket dimension which leads to an encounter with a questionable former employee, the elusive company man. They make lemons into lemon flavored goblins by taking this as an opportunity to collaborate. 🏰FWD: FWD: HR will not longer handle employee complaints As stated in the subject line, the HR department c…

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26 – 1st Annual Performance Review 29:51

1+ y ago29:51

29:51

Sometimes if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. It’s been ONE WHOLE FISCAL YEAR of this podcast and so it is time to take stock what has worked and what hasn’t, as well as set goals for the future. Travis and Ian don’t do any of that in this episode. But thanks for listening for a year and we look forward to keeping it going…

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25 – Designing Dragons 37:52

2y ago37:52

37:52

Travis and Ian peel back the scales on the realms most beloved winged and treasure hoard lovin’ denizen to get makeover befitting of Royals & Royals. There are actually some cool ideas in this one. Also some crappy ones. Email the boys and they'll design an adventure for ya: wellmet@crappycastles.com🏰 RE: RE: Lorem Ipsum introductionWe have a new h…

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24 – Oops, All Tortles! 30:09

2y ago30:09

30:09

The boys make a dungeon for seven tortle bards named Sheldon. (We call that a bardzinga.) For some reason, they decide that the best course of action is to get these turtleboys in a pop music showdown called MORTAL KONCERT! Plus: Adron intro! Fancam lessons! Ian tries being a jerk! Travis is hungry again! 🏰 RE: RE: Royals & Royals Game Night CANCEL…

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23 – BOSS RUSH #2 38:42

2y ago38:42

38:42

The boys come up with some vegan friendly bosses to satisfy any adventurer with a septum piercing. No word yet on the gluten content though. Plus: limosteeds, dandylions, and ensorceled tents of smothering. Want your own rush of bosses? Email a prompt to wellmet@crappycastles.com 🏰 RE: RE: hi GREETINGs EMPLOYEe! :)))))) I AM THe PTO TROLL! new rule…

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22 – Kid Playground for Kids 33:31

2y ago33:31

33:31

Travis and Ian practice daddyhood with a listener request for a kid-friendly dungeon! Plus: tetanus checks, kenku shaming, and flasks of dish soap for a very slippy slide. Email the boys and they'll design an adventure for ya: wellmet@crappycastles.com 🏰 RE: RE: DO NOT CASH OUT (NOT A THREAT) You may have heard that our humble adventure architectur…

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21 – Microtransactional 29:20

2y ago29:20

29:20

When should you put shopping in your adventure? According to Ian and Travis, the answer is: all the friggin' time! Listen to this pro bono pod for some FREE tips on adding micro, macro, and regular transactions to every single session. Plus: dungeon bathroom attendants, scarf roulette, and the importance of buying high and never selling. 🏰 Email we…

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DM Box #1 (LEAKED PATREON EPISODE) 23:10

2y ago23:10

23:10

DM Box is a special, mostly out-of-character cast just for patrons! If you want more episodes of DM Box, join the Crappy Castles Patreon today: https://www.patreon.com/crappycastles

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20 – The Taxman Cometh 33:25

2y ago33:25

33:25

IT'S TAX TIME! And Royals and Royals Adventure Architecture have to spend money to save money by creating a ton of business expenses very, very quickly. Ian suggests spending the gold safeguarding their dungeons. Travis suggests very much like... the complete opposite of that. And it's a dynamic like that that can keep a podcast going for two, mayb…

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19 – A Side Called Quest 33:16

2y ago33:16

33:16

Can I interest you in some minimap sprinkles? Travis and Ian come up with some stellar side quests to punch up your overly involved campaign, including a fetch quest for a beholder's contact lens! Just in case your D&D narrative was moving TOO QUICKLY. Plus: Ian's got new pants, Adron's got new paychecks, and Travis is pissed about pretty much all …

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18 – B.O.S.T.O.N. 2022 33:06

2y ago33:06

33:06

🍀 MAY THE LUCK OF THE ORCISH SMILE ON YA! 🍀 Travis and Ian go on a futuristic journey set in the scary cyber-port city of Beantown, MA. Including such futuristic locales as SHIPYAHDS and DIVEBAH. Plus: Murphy, Molly, and a protestant, Prius driving snake. (Adron also made a really good quiz song that you're gonna have to hear to believe.) 🏰 RE: RE:…

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17 – The Desserted Island 41:00

2y ago41:00

41:00

Hop on the eclair canoe and take a terrible trip on the corn syrup seas! And make sure to take your insulin shot while you're at it because this is a much crueler Candyland than you're used to. Plus: Ian tries to steer Travis away from his crippling sugar addiction, Travis attempts to dive nose first into a pile of pixie stix, and Adron continues t…

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16 – Catboy Paradise 37:18

2y ago37:18

37:18

Kitty in my dungeon and I want to touch it! Travis and Ian craft the perfect adventure to run with an all tabaxi party, complete with fits, sits, and the fanciest of feasts. Plus: dosed Gogurt, the dunes of Purrakis, and Ian invents a really cool hand gesture that nobody has done before. 🏰 RE: RE: Still Searching for Wire Gremlins Employees, apolog…

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15 – Fire and Ice: A Song of Them 31:38

2y ago31:38

31:38

Break a leg! Or several! Travis and Ian are writing a hit play based on the book series "A Song of Ice and Fire". The only problem? They don't know what that is. Plus: frozen jerky, extremely fungible tokens, and a look at Ian's feetnotes. 🏰 RE: RE: A Cease of Crows. A Dance with Desists. To all employees scheduled to participate in the upcoming mu…

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14 – Dungeon Design 101 30:24

2y ago30:24

30:24

Ever wanted to build a one-shot like the big dogs??? Then look elsewhere! Travis and Ian are telling you literally everything they know about building a great adventure, and for at least one of them, it ain't much.

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13 – Anger Managed 35:04

2+ y ago35:04

35:04

Travis & Ian are pressure testing your party with a frustrating quest through the fantasy furniture store Eye-KEA. Plus: court ordered sheep counting and rollin' vibe checks in the backseat of the Gremlin. 🏰 RE: RE: LIMITED TIME! GET IT BEFORE IT_DROWNS! HELL O EMPLOYEE I AM YOUR BOSS MR .ROYALS. I HAVE EMCITING OPP TUNITY IN KUA TOA PROVINC_ES. FO…

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12 – The Spirits of Winter's Crest 33:20

2+ y ago33:20

33:20

❄️ MERRY TIMES! ❄️ Travis is uncharacteristically jovial this Winter's Crest season. Meanwhile, Ian's socks have been soaked by the Gasoline Goblin. Must be a naughty halfling! Anyway, the premise of this episode is that the boys prescribe each other Winter's Crest spirits in a passive aggressive attempt to teach other a lesson. Plus: big ass brooc…

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11 – Stay in School, Stephen! 30:26

2+ y ago30:26

30:26

Ah, fifth grade. The calm before the puberty storm. In this episode, Ian teaches us the value of a good education, Travis insists on the opposite, and everybody learns a little bit about what made the boys the way they are. Plus the laziest rivers, number crunching, and the caper of the Watson Wombat. 🏰 RE: RE: BRING YOUR KIDS TO WORK MONTH In the …

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10 – Shanksgiving 31:52

2+ y ago31:52

31:52

Travis forces Ian to work on Shanksgiving and they dig up a letter that's one holiday too late. Plus the Summer of Toucan Sam, gravyshots, and Ian finally does his Jerry Sheinfeld impression. 🏰 RE: RE: CRAPPY SHANSKGIVING! Due to the recent changes in the stock options, i.e. their being worthless, e.g. leadership crashing this company into the grou…

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9 – HMS Hard Pill 31:50

2+ y ago31:50

31:50

Ian and Travis solve an elderly heiress's hiccups FROM THE INSIDE. And give you an airship adventure that you'll never forget. Plus: cab-sav-blancs, catch-your-own dinners, and the greatest pun in Crappy Castles history. WANT US TO BUILD YOU A DUNGEON? SEND YOUR LETTER TO WELLMET@CRAPPYCASTLES.COM. 🏰 RE: RE: BAD LUCK POTLUCK The most cowardly among…

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8 – Top Five Fey Facts 26:02

2+ y ago26:02

26:02

Learn all about the Feywild in an episode more aimless than a beholder with cataracts! if you're running or about to run The Wild Beyond The Witchlight, this podcast won't help in any way shape or form. Plus: lint types! Email your letters to wellmet@crappycastles.com and we may build you an adventure! FOR FREE! 🏰 RE: RE: NEW CAGE MATERIALS? As we …

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7 – Honey, We Shrunk The Party 40:10

2+ y ago40:10

40:10

Looking for a botanical adventure? Try these tiny trials through Travis's topiaries! Plus bug budgets, frogs unhemoth'd, and an allergic reaction to displacements. If you want the boys to build you a daggum dungeon, email your letter to wellmet@crappycastles.com. 🏰_RE: RE: BANDWITCH ISSUES Some team members have had trouble accessing the server rem…

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6 – Aunt Rebessica's Etiquette Manor 40:18

2+ y ago40:18

40:18

Ian learns how to be a fancy lad while slurping liquid chicken. Travis tells him no a lot. Adron makes the best sounding episode yet. Plus a new pixie, horse cotillion, and the origin of vicious mockery. 🏰 _RE: RE: HEY. LISTEN. We've received a lot of complaints about the notification fairies, and we just want to say: we hear you. Unfortunately, we…

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5 – Can-Ya-Keep Petting Zoo 29:08

2+ y ago29:08

29:08

Finally, a reason to be proficient in Animal Handling! This adorable adventure involves blink chickens, dire walruses, and Travis's crippling fear of bats (and subsequent brush with superheroism). 🏰 RE: RE: PTO (RE)QUESTS Somber vacation or exotic funeral on the horizon? Don't forget to submit your PTO requests! First, overcome the frozen maw of Jo…

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4 – BOSS RUSH #1 43:16

2+ y ago43:16

43:16

The boys come up with a bunch of big bads in our first ever BOSS RUSH. Featuring The Mmmmm, Flying Slime Recylcer, Tiny Bastard, Travis's dad, and Cardboard Cretin. 🏰 RE: RE: WINNERS DON'T USE TIME Despite the decriminalization efforts throughout the Forgotten Realms, time is still a class three substance, and any wizard caught in possession of tim…

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3 – Atlantis III 41:09

2+ y ago41:09

41:09

Travis desperately tries to one up his father while Ian desperately tries to get a word in. It's an underwater adventure that, if anybody asks, is for a good cause. Plus mass extinction, reverse mermaids, and the invention of the key conundrum. 🏰 RE: RE: SUGGESTIVE BOX Once again: writing a single explicative does not qualify as a suggestion and wi…

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2 – Freaky Fredericksburg 35:03

2+ y ago35:03

35:03

Travis Royals and a newly knighted Ian of the Hills create a horrific one-shot that will have you asking, "Who is the real monster?" (Spoiler: it's the monsters.) Plus dire flamingos, deus ex french toast, and a close call with Willy Nilly himself. If you want a pro bono dungeon designed, send a raven to wellmet@crappycastles.com. 🏰 RE: RE: SEVERAN…

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1 – Camp Aarakocra 52:00

2+ y ago52:00

52:00

Mornin' crappy campers! In this pilot 'cast, Travis Royals and Ian of the Hills design a summer camp for something called an eagle scout. Featuring bug juice rapids, a drider named Gary, and a peek into the boss's childhood torment. If you want a pro bono dungeon designed, send a raven to wellmet@crappycastles.com. 🏰 RE: RE: WORK HARD, FLAY HARD Fo…

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