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The Patchwork Witch Podcast

patchworkwitchpodcast

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Welcome to the Patchwork Witch Podcast, a cozy corner for witches and wild souls. Here we stir spells, read cards and weave a little magic into the everyday. We add in a bit of meditation and mindful living to learn how to create a happy more content life. Here your spirit and your craft grow together.
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New stories, stitched together with the thread of once upon a time. This is a collection of inclusive fairy tales written and recorded by Laura Simons to spread old magic in a new way. You want single fathers, pansexual princesses, found families, sapphic dragons, sword wielding ladies and asexual heroes? Then you've come to the right place!
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Patchwork Canteen

Patchwork Canteen

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Howdy y'all! We've brought you this podcast with intentions of sharing inspiration, stories of the road, and an inside perspective from two American nomads. Set aside your fears and join us as we embark on a journey of a lifetime. You're listening to the Fire-pit Sessions with Patchwork Canteen! TikTok: Patchwork Canteen
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American Patchwork & Quilting Podcast

American Patchwork & Quilting

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Welcome to the American Patchwork & Quilting podcast, a podcast aimed at making your quilting life more fun and creative, while connecting with quilters just like you. Join the staff of the magazines you love for a great episode filled with tips and tricks. Enjoy! Visit www.allpeoplequilt.com/podcast to see our complete podcast archives!
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Welcome To Patchwork

Christian, Dion and Josh

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**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019** Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs tha ...
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Patchwork Productions

Robin Ekberg & Dillin Apelyan

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Improvised audio dramas from two of the creators of The Atomless. Stories from the heart, occasionally supported or inspired by Tabletop RPGs. Patchwork Productions The Atomless Robin Dillin
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In this episode, we explore the quiet power of stillness, how slowing down, tuning in, and creating intentional pauses can shift your entire energy. We talk about the magic that happens when you stop forcing, start observing, and let clarity rise on its own. If you’ve been feeling rushed, overwhelmed, or disconnected, this episode will help you rec…
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In this episode, we dive into the art of thrifty witchy gifting. Thoughtful, magical presents that don’t break the bank. I share creative ideas using everyday items, upcycled finds, simple charms, and practical magic you can craft at home. Whether you’re celebrating Yule or just want to gift something meaningful, these budget-friendly witchy offeri…
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In this episode, we explore the mysterious and comforting world of spirit guides, who they are, how they communicate, and the subtle ways they guide us through life. Whether you’re new to spiritual connection or deep into your journey, you’ll learn how to recognize their signs, trust your intuition, and strengthen your bond with your unseen helpers…
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A Patchwork Fairy Tale: the one with the princess, the fae, and the young father. A princess suffers from a mysterious malady and a prize is promised for her cure. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr or Twitter! Check out composer Kai E…
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After eight years, 150 episodes and approximately one and a half Bibles worth of words, Christian, Dion and Josh gather to celebrate the tangled quilt they’ve been slowly unravelling since 2017. This very special Patch, recorded live on YouTube on September 10, 2025, is best experienced by watching rather than listening. Here's a link to the YouTub…
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This episode dives into what we’re really consuming when we buy meat from the grocery store. Please enjoy this interview with Chloe from Parker Pastures — a truly grass-fed, nutrient-dense, regeneratively raised farm that genuinely cares about both the animals and the consumer. My husband and I got to try their meat this week, and it was AMAZING. Y…
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In this episode, I researched some of the questions I have always found difficult to answer as a Christian. Posting online about my beliefs has often led people to throw Bible verses at me, often out of context, and I haven’t always known the best way to respond or explain what the Bible actually says. Cliffe has always been someone I admire, so I …
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We begin with Josh’s so-called “worst idea ever”: a heated debate about monitor timeout settings that morphs into a discussion about energy saving, screen burn, and whether you can feel your password in your fingers. Then Dion unveils a mysterious crack on his phone’s screen protector—but can’t recall how it happened. Josh is appalled. Christian is…
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With Dion back on the mic, we begin by questioning his curious choice to take place his call in another room but on speaker. This quickly turns into a debate about phone etiquette, hands-free habits, and whether Dion’s long-standing fear of mobile radiation is paranoia or just good prep. We also examine the strange acoustics of speaker mics, the pe…
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From coughing fits to crusty sourdoughs, this episode is made entirely of scraps - old notes, fleeting thoughts, and the kinds of ponderings that once felt too small, too odd, or too unworthy to make the cut. But today, they shine. In this rapid-fire, patchwork-style patch, we discuss: The weird intimacy of bringing a list of topics to dinner Why C…
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Some figures are spotted standing outside the studio walls, and Charlie goes to investigate. When she comes back inside, Charlie's not quite feeling herself. TW: Frequencies contains loud sound effects including sudden banging and audio jump-scares, and this episode surrounds topics of anxiety, isolation, depersonalization, physical violence. Frequ…
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Christian finally gets his ear pierced — but what does it mean to permanently alter your body? Is it self-expression, a longing for transformation, or simply an overdue homage to a bodybuilding uncle from childhood? Meanwhile, Josh is quietly seething at his neighbours who refuse to bring their bins in — but is it really about the bins, or about th…
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With Dion away, Christian and Josh settle in for a two-hander that begins with Christian’s recent holiday — and the logistical challenge of who would feed the cats. Christian reveals he enlisted six different friends (including Josh) and provided an extensive PDF detailing every aspect of Moe and Gus’s care. We unpack the line between thoughtful pr…
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We begin this patch with Josh recounting a recent trip to the Great Australian Beer Spectacular and Dion arriving at the wrong venue, shitting himself. Which kicks off a discussion about lateness, accountability, and how best to communicate when you're running behind. Should you send an ETA, or photographic proof of your position? Is sharing a live…
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How do you answer a phone call from someone you know? Christian insists on full name protocol, Josh still lives in landline times, and Dion’s trying to avoid getting deepfaked by AI. We discuss phone etiquette, voicemail anxiety, and the emotional scars of group chats that never end. Then it’s off to Plenty Gorge, where Christian wears sensible act…
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Natalie Daniels is a former NCAA Division III distance runner, a 17-time marathoner, soon making her 18th appearance in Boston, a five-time marathon champion, a new mom, and a passionate advocate for advancing women's participation and opportunity in elite running. She's here with us today to tackle the hard-hitting questions. Instagrams: @xx_xyath…
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Christian’s car is on empty, Josh’s brain is on husk, and Dion thinks a mouse has a mortgage. Christian kicks things off by pushing his car well past the fuel light, trusting the mysterious dot-dot-dot to get him home. Josh prefers a more conservative two-thirds–full approach, and Dion shares his experience of running out of petrol almost within re…
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Dion has finally succumbed to caffeine dependency, and Christian and Josh interrogate his new addiction. What makes a good coffee order? Why does Dion refuse to learn the difference between a flat white and a cappuccino? Meanwhile, Christian grapples with existential dread every morning, and Josh suggests he simply “get in the shower.” We question …
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In this Patch, we crown pizza as the best party food for a large group of people before trying to define some rules around quantity, presentation and flavour. Christian feels that hosts must announce the arrival of the pizza to the party, Dion reflects on the pathetic image of guests hovering around unopened pizza boxes and we collectively ask if a…
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In this episode, I want to dive into my generation’s obsession with continuing to look 'young and beautiful.' As someone who has had Botox before, is only 23, and has feared aging for as long as I can remember, I have been heavily influenced by the beauty and cosmetic industry in many ways. This video is not meant to cast judgment on anyone but to …
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Dion and Christian argue over whether someone can feel proud of arriving to a location on time. Josh tries to share a frustrating experience of being stuck in a queue that wasn't moving at the Australian Open but neither Dion or Christian can understand what he's saying. After some translating, we discuss the circumstances that might make someone l…
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We're back with Season 10! Misdelivered packages, passive-aggressive laundry, and the correct way to clean a percolator. This week Dion's Rooibos Challenge for a Fridge Friend takes a turn for the ethically ambiguous. Josh reveals the depths of his percolator cleanliness standards, and Dion confronts Christian on his plan to install roller shutters…
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This weekend, I went to D.C. to join hundreds of thousands of other Americans who came out in droves to support Donald Trump. In this video, I discuss the viral moments, share my opinion on MAGA after meeting so many others in this movement, and explain why I voted for Donald Trump!Oleh Maggie Wegner
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A Patchwork Fantasy Snippet full of well aged cheese. In which a hoard is guarded. Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr! The music used in this episode is from purple-planet.com. Penny for a tale? You can tip your storyteller on Ko-fi!…
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After 27 weeks, 3 additional kilos and no ageing, Dion is back in the Patchwork Studio! He tells us some brothy stories of his culinary experiences and recalls an awkwardly silent breakfast experience at a hostel. We then discuss what factors make for a positive hostel experience - is atmosphere or cleanliness more important? Does that answer chang…
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After countless people telling him to get one, Christian has finally purchased an air fryer and won't shut up about it! But what really is an air fryer? Is it just small oven? Is small oven better cook reddit? As the discussion develops, both Christian and Josh lose the ability to form full sentences but manage to discuss the research and developme…
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DMC steps into the green room to investigate the strange noises and is thrust years into the future to witness both the future of Our IFLN Life and his own life. TW: Frequencies contains loud sound effects including sudden banging and audio jump-scares, and this episode surrounds topics of anxiety, isolation, social ostracising, mortality. Frequenc…
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After another lengthy break, Josh and Christian are back in the WTP studio and the first thing they can think to talk about is how podcast consumption aint what it used to be. It's all content, content, content these days! Maybe if we posted a little more regularly, we would actually have some content to turn into clips. Christian kicks off the 'co…
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A group of creatives get their first ever big break - a college radio show set to record live in a real station. With nerves high and tensions higher, it feels as though something is watching over their shoulder as they settle in. TW: Frequencies contains loud sound effects including sudden banging and audio jump-scares, and this episode surrounds …
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Frequencies is a horror story, about fighting creative fears made manifest into monsters, and was told using the tabletop RPG Kids on Bikes. Frequencies was created and performed by: Robin Ekberg Candace the Magnificent Sloan Smith Dillin Apelyan Kappa Learn more about the cast and crew Here. CW for the series includes: violence, self-harm, anxiety…
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A stinger for the upcoming Actual Play Audio Drama from Patchwork Productions - Frequencies. Frequencies is a horror story, about fighting creative fears made manifest into monsters, and was told using the tabletop RPG Kids on Bikes. Frequencies was created and performed by: Robin Ekberg Candace the Magnificent Sloan Smith Dillin Apelyan Kappa CW f…
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We have wiped away the emotional cobwebs of the Depression Sessions and are ready for a little more unstructured fun. Christian picks up on Josh's brute force attempt to bring colour to the podcast before we both become self-conscious of our most overused phrases. We quickly move onto discussing workplace attire and some of the characters in our wo…
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On a cold Monday night in August 2024, tired from just existing, Josh and Christian decided to record Patch 133, "The Depression Sessions" aka Frankly Mr Chatly. For any first time listeners, this is not the Patch for you. Christian and Josh reflect on winter and the sadness of realising that you're already half way through the year. Christian and …
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Christian and Josh are joined in the Patchwork studio by the handsome and hilarious Nelson Allingham, host of the Read It On Reddit podcast. Christian welcomes Nelson by confessing that he often passively listens to his podcast while completing chores before tragically revealing that he prematurely retired one of his jumpers from rotation by wearin…
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While they were busy lining up the next Patchwork guest host, Christian and Josh decided to kill two birds with one stone and turned their long overdue catch up with Dion into content for the podcast. Through the miracle of "internet", Dion joins Christian and Josh in the studio to talk through some highlights from his trip including visiting an ac…
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A Patchwork Fantasy Tale about a cohabitation calamity. Surely all that stuff about vampires and werewolves not getting along is just nonsense, right? Read the transcript for this episode here. Find everything about this podcast and my other projects on laurasimons.com. Follow this podcast on Tumblr! Check out composer Kai Engel, who wrote the them…
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Christian and Josh are joined by the supremely talented comedian Nat Harris for Patch 131! Nat is about to perform a replay of her Melbourne International Comedy Festival show "Lathered" at Comedy Republic on Tuesday July 16. Purchase tickets through the Comedy Republic website! We kick off the episode by fighting about who has a better 'natural' r…
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Michael "Cambo" Campbell of Cancelled Movie Report and Read It On Reddit joins Josh and Christian and is immediately attached for his nickname and the silent "p" in his surname. Don't we treat our guests well! Christian kicks off proceedings by asking Cambo and Josh what they would do if someone asked to grant them access to a building that require…
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While Dion is away, the cats will play! And these cats have decided to invite veteran of the comedy scene and Patchwork's first ever repeat guest co-host, Laura Dunemann, onto the podcast! We kick off Patch 129 by making Christian feel more self conscious about his most recent Uniqlo purchase, an Arctic white turtleneck jumper. He's a Christmas rom…
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Surprise, main feed Patchworkers! Get a taste of what the Patreon subscribers are receiving every fortnight with this weeks Bonus Patch. Join for as little as $2 a month to support the show and guarantee yourself some Patchwork every week. Jump onto patreon.com/welcometopatchwork In this Bonus Patch, Josh kicks off by asking Dion and Christian what…
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This Patch starts with Josh expressing concern over his own reaction to a message chain in the Patchwork thread. Christian and Dion can't hold back their pride for a Josh looking to grow and learn. We scratch the surface of Josh's brain and try to understand whether it's to react with frustration to a text message that is checking up on you. Is it …
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