Ok . . . ok . . . come on, Max . . . you’ve done over three hundred of these . . . it’s not that hard . . . just write. Just write SOMETHING. Oh god, why does a blank white screen look so horrible? Why is my keyboard laughing at me? Come on . . . it’s just another entry in the “Ready When You Are, C.B.”, just another movie about making movies. What…

Ah, Hollywood! The land of glitter and sparkle! The land where dreams are born, struggle, and eventually end up in a miserable job in middle-management . . . I mean dreams come true! Obviously that’s what I meant, and you all know it! Hollywood is the most terribly important industry in all of The United Hollywoods of America; just ask Hollywood! W…

Order, order! The Committee for “Ready When You Are, C.B.” will come to order! The witness has been sworn in and we are ready to proceed. The witness is reminded that failure to answer any of the committee’s questions will result in the witness being held in contempt . . . even more than they already are. Now then: are you now or have you ever been…

Welcome to another episode in our continuing stooooooory “Ready When You Are, C.B.!” movies by Hollywood, about Hollywood, smothered in Hollywood gravy! This week’s entry is a film from the late 80’s, forgotten by some but surprisingly influential to others: Robert Townsend’s “Hollywood Shuffle”. Is it a coincidence that a movie with this title cam…

Heeeyyyyyy, listeners! Sweeties, honeys, babies, pussycats, pumpkins! Fabulous to see you, totally mean that, been too long, what’s your latest project, that’s great, how’d the rehab stint go, glad to hear it, have they dropped the charges yet, absolutely terrif to hear that, gotta run, have your service call my service we’ll do breakfast lunch din…

Great Cesear’s film reference! I know you’re all shocked, waiting as you have been for the start of our next series with a worm on your tongue (baited breath. Thank you! Try the veal!) but we’re delaying our next series a week because here at Max, Mike; Movies we are nothing if not topical! Yes, truly we are the skin disease of movie podcasts. Afte…

By the Spear of Odin/Wotan/Woden/Veratyr and lots of others! Welcome, most valorous warriors to this, the Twilight Of The Series “Give Me One More Chance.” Today you draw your blades with us as we face the trial of the final movie of our lord Thor/Thunor/Donar/Irving (that last one is a rare translation) and if we fall on the field of cinema, we sh…

Welcome to the next-to-last episode in our “Give Me One More Chance” series. Before we get into this latest installment of the “Mission: Impossible” series (which should be called “Mission: Impossible: Too Many Colons”), we have some unpleasant business to take care of. I’m afraid our top-secret Max, Mike; Movie headquarters has been infiltrated by…

Ok, ok, hang on, hold that still . . . so, in honor of this week’s entry in our “Give Me One More Chance” series, the found-footage, shaky-cam opus “Cloverfield,” I’m creating my very own handheld video masterpiece “Thistlemeadow,” complete with terrifying monsters and human drama, so let’s get, wha’ . . . DAMN, I dropped the video camera . . . han…

Well, good evein’ to you all, ladies and gents, a very good, Ah say, Ah say, a very good evening to all of you. ‘cept, mebbe it ain’t such a good evenin’ for one individual in particular, hear in our “Give Me One More Chance” series. Yes, one individual ain’t gonna get no more chances, Ah say, Ah say, no more chances. Now I ain’t no big city crime …

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of “Give Me One More Chance” at Max and Mike’s House of Magic *poof* *cough, hack* uh, yes, magic smoke! Stupid, semi-toxic magic smoke . . . I mean, Oooo! Such magic! Now I have here the very magical Dagger of Dennak, which I assure you is very real and very sharp, as I will demonstrate by cuttin…

Ok, Indy, ok. Enough. It’s too much, you understand? The candy, the flowers, the cards, the singing gorilla-grams . . . it’s gotta stop. Sure, we’re doing a series called “Give Me One More Chance”, and yes, your last movie didn’t exactly smooth over what you did in the movie before it . . . I’m NOT being unreasonable and I NEVER promised I wouldn’t…

Helloooo, Adventurers! Welcome back to our series “Give Me One More Chance”! Your quest today . . . is to listen to OUR quest today, which is to revisit the most recent attempt to bring the tabletop roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons (a game that Mike and I MIGHT have some teeny, tiny, very slight connection to and experience with) to the silver…

Welcome to another new, minty-fresh, sanitized-for-your-convenience series here at “Max, Mike; Movies”! After 300 episodes, we’re in a forgiving mood. Our hearts are filled with love and whipped hydrogenated oil. We’ve all been hurt in the past, some of us as recently as this morning (sorry Mike! You just looked so flammable!), by friends, by lov-a…

Three hundred episodes! Who would have believed it? It seems like only yesterday that people were asking us “why are you bothering?” over and over and over. Then came the genuine incredulity, the open hostility, the petitions begging us to stop, the changes in city zoning laws to try to outlaw us, the angry mobs, the torches, the screaming and wail…

Welcome to the final Roger Corman episode (no, really, we mean it this time) in our mini-series “Be Adjacent to the Cor-Man.” Super-hero movies: can you believe there was a time when they weren’t being released on a daily basis? This dim and distant era was called “The 1990’s” and we didn’t have any of this fancy CGI crap or compelling stories or t…

We thought we were free of the Cor-Man, but we’ve decided to do him true honor, we must honor the films that he may not have directed but that are still covered in his sweaty hand-prints, and this week is no different . . . from this week. We’re taking on 1977’s “Grand Theft Auto,” the directorial debut of one Opie Cunningham . . . I mean, Ron Howa…

We’ve done it! We’ve come to the end of our series “Be Like the Cor-Man”! They all laughed at us, laughed at us, I tell you! They said we were mad! Mad!! Well, now who’s mad?! Ahahahahahaha! We’ve made it through Roger Corman’s final directorial opus “Frankenstein Unbound”! They told us only lunatics would even attempt such an abomination! Fools! C…

Log entry, nighttime, July something or other. So, we’re coming to the end of our series “Be Like the Cor-Man” and in preparation for our discussion of “The Trip,” an exploration of the effects of an LSD experience, I’ve decided to really commit to the message of the film, so I’ve eaten half a sheet of blotter acid in preparation. I’m pretty sure t…

Once upon a weekend dreary, while I pondered, drunk and bleary, Over many a scratched and stainéd film, inducing quite a snore – On the toilet I sat crapping, while the weekend I was mapping In my head, my brain foot-tapping, hoping not to be a bore. Surely there is something more! Ah, distinctly I remember! It was May, no, wait, December! Or maybe…

Hey, all you Daddy-os and cool chicks! Get hip to this new scene, man! We got some groovin’ behoovin’ all in the name of that heppest of hepcats Rog Corman and man, is this guy a real gone cat! We’re diggin’ the scene in our scenario-series “Be Like the Cor-man”, man, and brother, have we got a blast this week with “A Bucket of Blood”. Man, we’re n…

In 1977, a little indie film called “Star Wars” was released, ushering in a new era for science-fiction films. Its budget? Eleven million dollars. To which Roger “Be Like the Cor-Man” Corman replied “hold my beer” and a mere three years later presented the world with the sci-fi epic “Battle Beyond the Stars” for a much more reasonable two million d…

There’s a new superhero in town, the man they call “X”! He has the power to see through things! Clothing! Human skin! Manila file folders! And how does he use this power to fight crime, you ask? Uh . . . well, I guess he could see criminals naked and mock them about any body image problems they might have until they surrendered out of sheer embarra…

Tremble before the rise of the Cor-man! We’re in “Be Like the Cor-man” now, up to our necks! For all his chintzy budgets, churned-out scripts, and lilliputian shooting schedules, Roger Corman hardly ever lost money on any of his pictures. Some of those pictures . . . one finds oneself asking “how?” as is the case of the 1960 now-cult-classic “Littl…

Spit fire and save matches, we’ve got us a new series! And it’s a doozy, recognizing one of the greatest most talented highly influential directors of the last hundred years. Who you may ask? Ron Howard? Sure, “Apollo 13” is decent and “A Beautiful Mind” won some minor awards like an Oscar but did he bring us “Dinoshark”? No, he did not! Martin Sco…

Halloyouall! Hier is de ende auf “Hat Nicht Gewonen. Hat Nicht Gewonen. Hat Nicht Gewonen” und der Max und der Mike ist vatchen das moviefilmen von Herr Charles Chaplin “Der Zehr Biggen Leadermensch”. Das ist ein moviefilmen vot nicht winnen das Oskar fur “Müst Gooden Movenpicturspassemachen” und das ist zehr unhappimachen. Or ist das? Maybeezo ist…

Um, ok, this is a bit embarrassing but while we were hoping to discuss “Singin’ in the Rain” as this week’s entry in our “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” series, we, well I’ll just say it, we couldn’t afford the licensing fees (it’s very complicated; it would take an economist to explain it) BUT don’t despair, because we’ve got something even b…

Ok, this week’s entry in the “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” series is a bit troubling. I mean, it’s “2001: A Space Odyssey,” right? Well, I don’t know about you but I remember 2001; I remember getting over the Y2K panic; I remember George W. Bush being president. You know what I DON’T remember? Finding a mysterious black monolith on the moon!…

Please check out this week’s episode of “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win.” Please do. Please baby, please, baby baby baby please! From that ham-handed reference, you can guess that we’re taking on a Spike Lee movie, specifically “Do The Right Thing”, a movie that didn’t win Best Picture, wasn’t even nominated for Best Picture, but a LOT of peopl…

Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that this week’s entry in “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” was NOT a thrilling docu-drama about the founding and development about the capital of Alaska. I mean, what a missed opportunity! I was hoping to see the on-screen portrayals of the prospectors Richard Harris and Joe Juneau as they struggle to…

Welcome to Max Foster Levine and No One Else; Movies. I, and I alone, have come up with our new series “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win.” and don’t you forget it! Yes, yes, I may have had some partner or other at some point but I sent him packing when he showed his vast lack of vision at my brilliant choice of “Citizen Kane” as an example of the…

Somewheeeerre, off in the podcast Movies play And my buddy and me chat About them throughout the day. Somewhere, off in the podcast, We’ll talk flicks. And we’ll just keep on talking ’cause we’re a pair of . . . Um, ok, that’s enough singing for now! Yes, believe it or not, the classic “The Wizard of Oz” was nominated for but did not win Best Pictu…

We’ve got us a brand-new series! How often does that happen? Well, pretty often, but that’s part of the magic! This week, we’re kicking off our series “Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win. Didn’t Win” where we discuss movies that seemed like a lock for the Best Picture Oscar but instead were cruelly and viciously stomped upon by some other film that took their …

We’re closing out “Because Patton Said So” with one last entry from Patton Oswalt’s choices from the Criterion Collection. And as we mosey into the sunset, on our cayuse (which I think is a small Yugoslavian car, don’t quote me on that), we’re taking a gander at a Sam Fuller Western, 1957’s “Forty Guns.” The central premise of this movie is: do you…

Heeewack, campers! We’ve got another choice selection from the list of Filmaster Oswalt! He’s brought us obscure, powerful noir films, languid, elegant Japanese films, so what tasteful, understated lyrical selection has he made for us . . . oh. Oh. OHHH!!!! OH GOD MY EYES MY EYES WHAT’S HAPPENING WHAT THE HELL IS THIS OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD . . . Umm…

Once again, we are pleased to bring you a film selection suggested by one Mr. Patton Oswalt (and there is only one of him, at least until I perfect my cloning-and-memory-imprint-transfer device, which should be any day now; I just need to find one more set of old skee-ball machine gears . . .): Yasujirō Ozu’s 1952 work “The Flavor of Green Tea Over…

Welcome to a brand-spanking-new series (a spanking! A spanking!), inspired by someone Mike and I both admire and enjoy: Patton! That’s right, when you put your hand in a pile of goo that five minutes ago was a movie’s guts . . . wait, hang on, wrong Patton . . . No, indeed, this series is inspired and shaped not by the legendary general and tank-co…

Today, the laughter has died. Yes, we’ve come to the end of our “What’s So Funny?” series; we’re all sorry to see it end, as it means nothing will ever be funny again but we urge you all to stiffen that upper lip, square those shoulders, and do your best to carry on. We’re closing this out with another listener suggestion, the recent “Barbie” movie…

Welcome to our penultimate “What’s So Funny?” episode; this week we’ve got a Neil Simon-penned (or more likely typewritered) little number, the spiritual sequel, sort of, to a movie both Mike and I really enjoy, “Murder By Death,” another Neil Simon creation. This one focuses more on one genre: the hard-boiled detective movie, more specifically, th…

Well now, homefellows. I must suggest that you “step off”, lest you find yourself labeled a “jive turkey.” I am not funning with you, my siblings. I would deeply appreciate it if you would each and every one of you pick up what we are “laying down,” as it were; Max and Mike are our names and discussing movies is indeed what you might in fact refer …

YEE HAW! Howdy, pardners! I’m Big Max and that there is Big Mike and we’re “Big Max and Big Mike’s Big House O’ Psychopaths”! And we’ve got so much inventory this month that we’ve gone PLUM CRAZY! Come on down and see what we’ve got! We’ve got masked vigilantes tossing playing cards! We’ve got bald Vietnamese guys dressed as Catholic priests! We’ve…

Welcome back to our “What’s So Funny?” series. And you know what’s funny? The blood-sucking undead. Oh, my sides! Yes, the 70’s brought a resurgence of Dracula movies (not that he ever really went away) and 1979 brought us one! Two! Three! Four! Five! Five Dracula movies! Ah ah ah! {sound of thunder}. And of all of them, “Love at First Bite” was ce…

Our entry in our series “What’s So Funny?” this week is the third in the famous (or infamous) Cornetto Trilogy from Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright. Sadly, we’ve skipped right over “Shaun of the Dead” and “Hot Fuzz” (for now) but we’re focusing on this rather odd, surprisingly emotionally complex comedy. This film starts as a High-School-F…

Guten jour, me old mates-comrades! Welcome to our wonderful country of Europe! Yag shamash! Here in Europe, we Europeans so much like to see Americans come here to enjoy our foodthings, purchase our geegaws, and desecrate our many famous monuments and landmarks! Do we mind? Nyet! As long as it is for funny Tik Tokking or Instafacing, we of Europe a…

The movie’s one hundred fifty-one minutes long. We’ve got a full box of Bumpy Pux, half a quart of YooHoo, it’s broad daylight and we’re wearing rainbow-sequined lederhosen. Let’s roll. Welcome to another in our series “What’s So Funny?” The movie that tries to answer that question this week is John Landis’ “The Blues Brothers,” which may have one …

Heeeyyy! Wakka wakka wakka! We’re DONE being hard-boiled and detective-y, so now we’re going to lighten up with a new series we’re calling “What’s So Funny?” Howaya, howaya, howaya? Saying things three times is funny! Hey, Mike! Bring that tray of priceless crystal goblets over here but watch out for that banana peel . . . OH GOD, MIKE! No! Are you…

As we come to the close of our “Walk the Dark Street” series, let us consider hunting. One can hunt for many things: gold, Red October, wascally wabbits . . . but what sort of man does it take to hunt for two adorable children and their cash-filled doll? I’ll tell you what kind: Robert Mitchum’s Preacher in “Night of the Hunter” and here’s hoping t…

Great googly-moogly, we’re at the penultimate “Walk the Dark Street” episode and what do we have? A muurrrrrrrderrrr. Murder most foul! Missing persons! Terrible deaths! Conniving relatives! What can possibly solve this confounding conundrum? The one thing that always helps: booze! Yes, booze, and lots of it! Booze makes you charming and enhances y…

Ah, oui . . . the way of le Samourai. Surely there is nothing more French than le code of le Bushido, non? For was it not Jean-Paul Sartre who said “Existence precedes and rules essence, and so I must cut my belly open.” How often have we thrilled to the exploits of that master of le dai-sho, Marcel Marceau, who slaughtered his enemies with his mer…

Kon’nichiwa, minasan, Makkusu, Maiku, eiga, soshite watashitachi no sirīzu `u~ōku za dāku sutorīto’ e yōkoso. Ok, that was supposed to say “Hello, folks, welcome to Max, Mike, Movies and our series, Walk the Dark Street.” However, apparently what it actually says is: “Hello, everyone. Welcome to Max, Mike, the film, and this series, Walking on Dark…