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Rolling Stoned

Rolling Stoned

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The year is 2004. Operation: Rolling Stoned is ongoing following suspicious activities surrounding subjects Ken & “Sketch” during their first year delivering for USPUSS, a nation-wide decoy delivery operation started by the Department of Homeland Security to monitor stoners' ties to terrorism. Though there has been evidence of rituals of the occult with minors, mild cannibalism, and possible tampering with reality the government has so far been unable to uncover any terrorist intel from them ...
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Sketch is back to the grind at USPUSS and today he's working a different route than usual, covering for a coworker that's sick. Everything is going pretty normal besides a bizarre encounter a frisky older couple. They just want Sketch to bring some eviction papers to the neighbor. Piece of cake. But he soon finds out the cake is indeed a lie becaus…
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This New Year was pretty uneventful for Ken & Sketch compared to the previous one, but while finishing off a special second generation New Year's blunt, Sketch got to thinking...whatever happened at last year's New Year party at P-Dawgs...and did he still have dank buds...? Using Ken's address book, Sketch is able to find P-Dawg's parent's house, w…
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It's the Rolling Stoned Christmas special and season finale extravaganza! Twas an average day for Sketch, making deliveries and picking up packages, when along came a package, but human it was. His clothes were all dashing and the deepest of reds. "My name's Mr Krimson," he smiled and said. A briefcase, quite peculiarly, was chained to his wrist. "…
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The interstate revenge spree continues, as Starwoman works her way down the revenge list, and everyone is going to get their hands dirty. After swiftly disposing of Bong-water Man, they are off to enact vengeance on some really bad dudes, definitely the worst kind of people, from dog fighters to the Hollywood elite... and they're all... probably gu…
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Ken finally wakes up from his several week coma in the back of the USPUSS truck only to get ambushed by none other than... those Goddamned treehouse kids Timmy and Billy. But they aren't here on their normal shenanigans. In fact, they have found a new master... and her name is... Starwoman. Starwoman, who was last seen leading a caravan of skating …
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It's just another Tuesday, and Sketch is trying to finish a DVD when he's encountered by a man outside, with a "package" from the motherland! It's called Kompletely Great Broadband and Marv & his Russian cousin, Milosh have apparently been sent to install this free new feature into the truck! But Sketch must leave for installation. Is important. On…
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Sketch is amped up and ready to show the bosses the tape of the talk show that they insisted that he made last week. He was a little confused when they told him "If you're going to be around USPUSS a while, we're going to give you more responsibilities," and then told him they were putting him in charge of interviewing candidates, starting with thi…
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Ken & Age have come down with something after eating entirely too much guacamole, leaving Sketch to do the route alone. While griping to himself about his woes while looking for the new snack machine, he gets a little bit turned around and winds up in the top secret Moongate Command, which happens to be just a few floors down from the break room. T…
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Freshly back from vacation, Ken and Sketch are stopping by USPUSS to check out the progress on the reconstruction of the break room. There, they meet Notch, a second generation construction worker who is an expert digger and has an extraordinarily square figure. Some would describe it as box-like. Well, as he keeps telling Avery, the new break room…
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Age and Sketch are taking a much needed vacation with all the PTO (paid time off, can you believe that?) they were given while the USPUSS facility is rebuilt. The plan is to go visit Sketch's family in the UP, which is like Canada, but not actually Canada (much to Age's dismay), and go fishing, drink beer, and do a whole lot of nothing. These magni…
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Agents Ralph and Diego have some catching up to do. Their weekly reports haven't been sent to headquarters in a month because Ralph has been spending too much time mixing the top secret recordings, trying to make them more listenable, and Diego hasn't exactly been helping. They don't have much time to bicker about it though, because it appears in t…
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With both the Third and Sixth Amendments wished away by Lincoln's Hand, the New Confederacy is well on their way to bringing about their Confederate Dystopia. After being flung into the woods by Sketch's reckless driving, Age wakes up pinned to her crashed trailer. Fortunately, her trailer crashed into the tent of someone that can help. He calls hi…
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Age and Sketch are hot on Fugue State Ken's trail of bodies when Sketch suddenly notices someone he thought long gone from his past zoom by on familiar sounding rollerskates. Age's trailer immediately goes flying off the hitch as Sketch speeds up to find out that Starwoman is indeed still alive... sort of. She has become a zombie, er, revenant, exi…
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The treehouse kids' wish to remove the Third Amendment with Lincoln's hand worked, leaving Ken, Sketch, & Age with no memory of the United States having an amendment prohibiting soldiers from being posted in people's homes. They don't remember a time without their trusty tan-coated soldier/body guard/servant/companion by their side, from the moment…
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It's time to get back to work, but Ken and Sketch are going to be having a permanent guest tag along with them on their route. Newly fired and newly homeless, Age asks if she can crash with them, which they quickly agree to, after all, she only has one suitcase... Well, she picked some day to move in because they have to deliver an ominous relic to…
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420 was days ago, but Ken and Sketch have lost all concept of time and space. After wandering off into the Wisconsin wilderness from Milwaukee, they find themselves in a Spencer’s Gifts in Oconomowoc. Age (aka Adrienne) shows up out of nowhere in the USPUSS truck to save them from their hallucinogenic wanderings, only to drug them and bring them to…
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Ken and Sketch decide to take a day trip to Madison on their day off and run into their old friend, Adrienne. She is at the capitol to protest the United States invading Iraq under false pretenses and informs Ken and Sketch that we just started a war (they were unaware). After dropping some knowledge about world politics, the subject quickly gets o…
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Ken's brother, D-Mike is in town from New Jersey and Ken & Sketch are picking him up from the bus station. They're looking forward to spending some quality time and seeing the sights, but first they have to finish their route. However, all goes awry while they're passing around a road bong and Sketch slowly crashes into a fire hydrant and they have…
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While Ken and Sketch are taking a breather from the work day to watch Predator in the break room, the maniacal kids Billy and Timmy from the tree house show up at the USPUSS facility. And they want their skin couch back. And the couch is haunted or something... ? Idk, you're going to have to listen if you want to make sense of this one... Links: @R…
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Following a rigorous debate about whether DVDs have what it takes to replace VHSs, Ken and Sketch decide to go to Circuit City to see what all the hype is about. A very enthusiastic Circuit City employee by the name of McDougal shows them the wonders of DVDs and some backroom deals (once they buttered his palms, that is...). Links: @RevoloverAudio …
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Agents Ralph and Diego discuss their suspicions of Ken and Sketch and their radical stoner ideology and then interrogate them under the guise of a performance review, but it quickly unravels as the agents unintentionally find themselves in the sweet embrace of Mary Jane herself... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com…
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After Marathoning through the entire Alien quadrilogy in the back of their USPUSS truck/home, they run out of gas, forcing Ken and Sketch into the elements to search the USPUSS facility for supplies. But they are not prepared for they are about to find. For in a dark corner of the warehouse, a curious man awaits... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitte…
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Having spent their signing bonus, Ken and Sketch find themselves still needing to furnish the back of the USPUSS truck, their current home. While on their route, they spot the perfect chairs up in a treehouse and decide to snag them. Little do they know what they are about to uncover... Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-…
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After making their phone call to USPUSS, Ken and Sketch are told to come in right away for the a job. They decide to take the bus but are thwarted when a mother takes issue with their bong smoking. However, after taking a quick bath in Lake Michigan, and with some helpful directions, Ken and Sketch find themselves at the USPUSS facility. Links: @Re…
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Ken and Sketch wake up after a New Year's party they barely remember that ended with their apartment burning down. Waking up in the streets of Milwaukee, they try to make sense of the previous night, while trying to figure out what to do next. Links: @RevoloverAudio www.twitter.com/RollingStonedPd www.ko-fi.com/RevoloverAudio Music: kinggizzardandt…
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