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This is a bittersweet episode, because – well – after 72 episodes over 4.5 years and with 30,000 listens in almost 200 countries, this is the final episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. But don’t despair! The podcast, the blog and the products and services for you and all those who live the diplomatic life will still be available to support you. …
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What do you do when you’re experiencing one of life’s challenges? Do you acknowledge it and work through it or do you just push through? When it comes to loneliness, just pushing through comes at a terrible cost and you’re paying it blindly. Let’s talk about the pitfalls of your all-too-common strategy in this final episode of this season of The Lo…
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If it’s not already clear: I’m Phil. I’m gay and I get lonely. I come out as gay all the time. I also come out as lonely all the time. Coming out as lonely is tough. It’s often far easier for me to come out as gay than it is to come out as lonely. Let’s talk about coming out as lonely as the only way to break loneliness’ hold on your thoughts and b…
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This sounds a bit weird, but the connection you need and deserve: the soul-nourishing, toe-curling connection you need and deserve is waiting for you. All you need to do is to accept your loneliness and learn from it. Let’s talk about how you can do that. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.comGet my help through your loneliness: https://www.the…
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Stop competing against other people’s loneliness. Or, in other words, stop comparing your loneliness to anyone else’s. All you’re doing is manufacturing evidence that the loneliness you’re experiencing isn’t THAT bad and you can go on figuring it out by yourself. My friend: this episode can change your life. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.c…
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The thoughts and feelings of loneliness can make you feel like you’re a broken human. But I know this to be true: loneliness doesn’t make you a broken, failed human. It makes you gloriously human. Let’s talk about that in this short episode that’s designed to give your mind, your heart and your soul a quick connection boost as you – a human who’s a…
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We’re exploring a tough topic in this episode: we’re exploring that awful kind of loneliness we humans can get when we’re in an abusive relationship. In any relationship that’s abusive. At home, at work. Join me for episode 66 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about the hidden abuse in diplomacy. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.c…
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I’m very visual, so I often think of loneliness as a pool. There are many ways to enter the pool, but once you’re in, you’re in. How did you enter the loneliness pool? How did you find yourself experiencing loneliness?Let’s have a quick chat about that. Join me now for episode 65 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about your loneliness a…
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Grown-ups, it’s time to listen. It’s time to listen to those smart, engaged and observant young people in our lives like 16-year-old Toby who also live the diplomatic life. Listen to what the young people are saying. Listen to what they’re not saying. Listen to what they’re trying to say without getting anyone in trouble.Listen to those who witness…
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During your diplomatic life, you’ve likely encountered the demands of diplomacy on your relationships, be those relationships those with your family, your friends OR your significant others. Let’s talk about how these demands can feed your loneliness. Join me now for episode 64 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about your loneliness as …
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You MUST speak your loneliness if you are to learn from it and move towards getting the connection you need. But, beware the loneliness overshare. We can be quick to share our loneliness story with anyone with whom we feel seen, heard or that we belong. They may not be ready for that.Join me now for episode 62 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let…
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I don’t know about your loneliness, but when I feel lonely, I often feel as if I’m the only person in the world who’s thinking these horrible thoughts and feeling these feelings. Of course, that’s crap.But do you experience these kinds of thoughts and feelings, too? Join me now for Episode 61 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about lone…
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Welcome to a new format for The Lonely Diplomat podcast: quick connection boosts of 10 minutes or less. In this first short episode we’re going to talk about my answer to a common question I receive: Why loneliness? Why me?Join me now for Episode 60 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about loneliness in diplomacy. Website: https://www.th…
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Come and join me and my beautiful partner Jeff for a chat about him, me and us.Jeff and I recorded some magic in this episode. The conversation went in a direction that I hadn’t really intended it. But as is so often the case when conversations are real, open and honest, it went where it needed to go: we spoke on how loneliness has shown up in our …
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Are you inadvertently feeding connection and starving loneliness? Let's check. It’s time to sharpen your pencil and set aside a few moments to do a couple of audits that will really help you feel better connected to yourself, to those most important to you and to your communities. I know that the word ‘audit’ can make even the most stoney-faced dip…
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I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. I thought that I was hiding it well. I wasn’t. It took a kind and honest conversation to help me understand the impact the constant state of overwhelm has on me and those most important to me. We need to have a kind and honest conversation about how we – as a global diplomatic community – are almost always in a…
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To the humans of international diplomacy: Our kids are not OK. They’re reporting high levels of emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. We need to have a kind and honest conversation about how we – as a global diplomatic community – show up in support of our littlest and junior diplomats so they have the upbringing we a…
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Come and join me and Karina Lagarrigue for a conversation about how we can best support diplomatic mums. Karina is a Barcelona-based psychologist specializing in expat couples therapy and sex therapy. She’s also a PhD candidate in sensory processing sensitivity for expatriated mums. You must join us if you are a parent and want to help improve the …
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Come and join me for a real conversation about what it means to connect. Connection is a big deal. It’s the antidote to loneliness and you – as a human – need to feel connected. But how do you know if you’re doing it right? Listening to this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast is a great place to start. Need to get your diplomatic life back on t…
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Come and join me for a real conversation about what it means to be at a rock bottom mentally, emotionally, physically and socially while living the diplomatic life in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. In this episode, I talk about: - While rock bottom is a messy place, it’s a source of hope.- Why you avoid seeking help until you’ve got n…
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Come and join me and Georgie Ryan for a cup of tea and a chat about being an accompanying significant other while living her diplomatic life in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. In this episode, we talk about - the impact her blog post and previous appearance on the podcast has had supporting the global diplomatic community. - Times when…
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Many aspects of this diplomatic life are amazing. And there are many that are, well, far from amazing. Always needing to be ready – to be ‘on’ – to respond to something in the right way at the right time. Everyone on a posting – posted officer and their families – always need to be vigilant and mindful of how their words and actions are perceived. …
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I’m back. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? There’s been a lot happening with me AND with The Lonely Diplomat. Let’s catch up. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links:Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.comBlog: www.thel…
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There’s something calming about observing protocols and heeding diplomatic traditions in times of great disruption, uncertainty and stress. But sometimes, things need to be shaken up and modernised so they meet today’s needs. When it comes to serving, supporting, challenging and inspiring diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life, the usual …
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Let’s have a chat about real resilience and courage in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. A whole lot of life has happened for us in 2020 and 2021. We need to process it in our way. Even when it's hard and we're busy. No, ESPECIALLY when it’s hard and we’re busy. We need a resilience reset. You need a resilience reset. Let me tell you abo…
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Happy New Year! It’s 2022 and our thoughts may be turning to the New Year and New Year’s resolutions. What’s it going to be for you? Quit smoking? Get a better work/life balance? Enforce boundaries? You know that I have content all designed to help you and others who live the diplomatic life as you live your diplomatic life. But change when living …
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Ah, it’s getting towards the pointy end of the festive season and you might get some days off to rest and recharge shortly. Not before time, right?!Let’s reflect on 2021. What happened? What did we learn? Did 2021 happen to you, or did you happen to it?Let’s have a chat about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast.Want to talk with me …
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Do you still feel like you must prove that you’re worthy of having your job wherever you are in the world? Do you still feel like you must prove that you being where you are and doing what you’re doing is not some horrible mistake? Do you still feel that you must constantly hustle to prove that you’re worthy of your job and your life?Trust me: You’…
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One of you in my awesome global audience shared with me that you simply can’t turn off: you can’t relax. You’re always checking email. You’re always refreshing news feeds. You’re always watching the news. Always seeing what’s coming up next and how you can respond? I’m not surprised. What does it take for you to really relax? Let’s have a chat abou…
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While it sometimes may not feel like it, by any measure, diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life are privileged. Sometimes, we’re even a bit entitled. Sometimes, we’re really entitled. Sometimes, we even act like spoiled children when we don’t get our way. We need to check our privilege. What if we used our privilege and listened to the ne…
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I’m calling forward the men of diplomacy to sit with me and talk about something real. That means no:- talk about work or how busy we are. - talk about sport.- talk about the weather.- talk about politics.- talk about sex.- no gossip. Nothing that passes as safe, small talk. That’s not connection. We need to talk about why, as men, so many of use w…
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I bet that every diplomat and those who live the diplomatic life can share several stories about how their accent made it challenging to be understood. These stories are often hilarious, and the memories stick with us for years. Indeed, you’re probably thinking of an example right now and smiling. If that’s the case: good! You know EXACTLY what I’m…
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While no one wanted the lesson, COVID is a powerful teacher. We’re learning a lesson about who and what is important in our lives. We’re learning lessons about the importance of connection and the awfulness of loneliness. We’re learning that while COVID affects our personal lives, our employers keep demanding its pound of flesh from us. Have you st…
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Hello! It's wonderful to be back in your ears having a chat with you. In this first episode of this new season, we’ll chat about how the oft-used phrase ‘fake it till I make it’ can be a really good way to reassure ourselves when we start something new. We’ll talk about how the sentiment can be helpful, but is no way to go through our working life.…
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In this final episode of the current series, we’ll chat about how diplomacy often requires us to be ready to work at all hours. We’ll talk about work/life balance and how our work/life balance isn’t given to us: We must get our life for ourselves. But how? Let’s have a chat about that. I’ll be back with a new series and new topics to discuss in a f…
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In this second last episode in this series, we’re going to discuss what can happen when we valiantly try to cope with ceaseless demands on our time and attention at work and in life. For all our skills, talents and ability to serve our governments and our fellow citizens, diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life are still human. We all have…
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We’re going to have a kind and honest conversation on a subject that we too often only speak about in hushed tones: relationship infidelity and the challenges that this diplomatic life puts on our relationships. Please join me if you’re ready to sit with some discomfort and to start a kind and honest conversation. Get me in your corner through my m…
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One of you – my awesome global audience – shared with me that you’d been enduring constant bullying, harassment and intimidation in your workplace. You shared that this appalling behaviour had left you feeling stressed, isolated and alone. During our chat, I asked: ‘Why didn’t you reach out to someone for support?’You answered: ‘I didn’t want to be…
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Let’s jump straight into 2021 and let’s have a chat about an issue that many diplomats who belong in a family or community all struggle with at some point:Should we do another posting?It’s a question that often brings our familial responsibilities and our work responsibilities into conflict. Remember to like, comment, share and/or follow!Get me in …
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I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life. What are your plans for Christmas this year? What were you hoping to do? Christmas – and any other event that brings friends and families together – can be hard when we’re so far away from home. Ironically, even when we are at home we can st…
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I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life. When one of you asked me for help with their feelings of being a fraud at work, I knew that my response would be helpful to many. After all, feeling like a fraud or an impostor is common among high achievers. What do you do when you feel lik…
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I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life. When one of you asked me for help and said that one of their biggest challenges was getting too many emails and worrying about missing something important, I provided this advice to them. I now provide it for you, too. Hint: It’s all about t…
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In a stunning example of gross diplomatic understatement, 2020 has been quite a year, hasn’t it? There have been life lessons aplenty. And for a blogger/podcaster on this diplomatic life, there’s always a rich vein of content from our collective experiences. We’ve all been tested in our own ways. That we’re still here with food in our bellies and r…
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It’s great to be back!Let’s have a chat about my purpose: why I do what I do for you and other diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life.Remember to like, comment and share! Links:Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.comBlog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blogWant my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonely…
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After reflecting on our soulaches for the past few weeks, let’s have a chat about what gives us soulgasms and brings us joy as we live our diplomatic lives in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Are you numbing, ignoring and denying your soulache as you live your diplomatic life and focusing only on that which brings you joy? Do you allow …
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There are fewer worse feelings than our own soulache. We can feel empty and at odds within our selves. A soulache develops when what we do is not aligned with who we are. This begs the question: Who are you? Let’s have a chat about your answer to this question. A soulache while living the diplomatic life can lead for some uncomfortable reckonings w…
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Who gets lonelier: the posted diplomat or the accompanying significant other?I’m asked this question more than any other when people learn that I’ve twice been the posted diplomat and twice been the accompanying significant other during my 20-year diplomatic life. Let’s answer the question and investigate what it really means. LinksWebsite: www.the…
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You know that I often recommend that we who live the diplomatic lives need to use social media for good. But was I using it for good? This question prompted my month-long detox from my personal social media accounts. I had two major insights during the detox. First, social media can be a powerful tool of connection when we use it mindfully. It’s an…
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Change is inevitable. Seasons change. Children grow up. People come into – and then leave – our lives. Why is it that I resist the changes I know that I must make in my own life, even when I know that I must change if I’m to evolve and grow?Why is it that we all do this? Change does not happen – within our selves or in society – from simply reading…
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Diplomacy and the diplomatic life can place enormous stress on our relationships, and yet we don’t tend to talk about what can happen when those relationships end. Why is that?My friend Katia Vlachos and I discuss breakups, separations and divorce in this episode. Katia has written some outstanding articles on the topic within the global expatriate…
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