Daily High Culture 8: Afraid of Perfect Love?

Classical Rebellion

“We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.” Somerset Maugham This quote is packed with emotion as soon as we stop and consider how this phenomenon has played out in our own lives. I don’t agree that “It is a happy chance...to continue to love a changed person.” I think it’s a freaking miracle if we are able to continue loving while both parties are in constant transition. Somerset Maugham has managed to describe that feeling of, “I don’t know, things just feel different.” He has defined why we might wake up next to a partner of several years and feel as though we have been sleeping next to a complete stranger. Now that Maugham has identified this dynamic, we have a better chance at “choosing love.” Choosing love is one of those simple concepts which is almost impossible to execute on a consistent basis. Choosing love is not a choice, it is an extremely difficult ability to develop. It takes years of self-awareness to develop it to the point where we can do it every now and then. The bible says, “Perfect Love casteth out all fear.” While I believe that to be true, in my opinion, that concept is being stated in the reverse order of development. By removing fear, perfect love is possible. Fear is a primary function of our existence while perfect love or unconditional love is an advanced function which maybe nine people have ever been able to pull off. You might feel as though I’m being awfully negative here but our real situation is usually one of conditional love fueled by fears of loss and disappointment. Until we remove our fears, perfect love will evade us, in my opinion. Yes, we do love and maybe even love often but for the most part, it is inconsistent, partly because of what Maugham is describing. Armed with this perspective we can turn inward and try to observe how and where we are changing. Are we removing fears or adding fears? Hopefully we can use that information to choose to love another who is also changing. The piece of music I’ve chosen for this quote is the Prelude and Liebestod from Tristan und Isolde. If you want to go “full send” and listen to the entire opera I recommend the recording with Ramon Vinay and Martha Mödl. I find Mödl’s singing to be particularly super-human. The doomed characters of Tristan and Isolde are unable to align their love during the entire drama and it is only at the end that they are united—in death. My hope is to attain perfect love without having to die first. Yet, if we were to take it one step further, in order to love perfectly it might require a sort of dying . The Hellenic concept of Agape Love comes to us through Christianity in 1st Corinthians Chapter 13. Make no mistake though, this is a Greek ideal that was drafted into Christianity. If you don’t want to take my word for it, you are welcome to read F.E. Peters’s excellent history, The Harvest of Hellenism. Part of the love chapter says, “When I became an adult, I put childish things behind me.” What does that mean in the context of love? I think it means childish and fearful emotions such as jealousy, envy, and insecurity need to be put behind us in order for us to have a chance at perfect love. The child must die so the adult can live. By performing some philosophical gymnastics we can now look to the Liebestod as the death of the child and the unification of Tristan and Isolde as a union of fully integrated adult individuals. Yes? No? The piece of art is Tristan and Isolde by Rogelio de Egusquiza. Rogelio collaborated with Wagner and dedicated the majority of his career to painting subjects from Wagner’s operas. That’s it for today. I’m sending you all love, albeit love which is conditioned by whether or not you subscribe, but still love to you all and I’ll see you tomorrow with another Infusion of High Culture.