S3 E10 Psychotherapist Sam Kendakur on How Identity, Trauma, and Relationship Structure Affect Pleasure and Consent

Coming Together for Sexual Health

Trigger warning: sexual trauma

Psychotherapist Sam Kendakur talks with Tammy about the intersections of sexual health and mental health. Listen in for nuanced conversations about the gray areas and messiness of consent; how to piece apart our own understandings of sexual pleasure, desire, and attraction; the impacts of stigma on sexual and gender identity and those who choose non-monogamous relationship styles. We learn about the unexpected impacts healthcare providers can have on the wellbeing of folks with marginalized sexual, gender, and racial identities, especially when there are stark differences between the provider and client’s lived experiences. Find the transcript for this episode at comingtogetherpod.com.

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Resources:

• Sam Kendakur’s website
• Reading Guide from Shrimp Teeth: The Best Polyamory, Sex, and Queer Books
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
• Higher Education Scholarship Opportunities for LGBTQ+ students listed at edumed, petersons, gograd

Guest Bio:

Sam Kendakur has worked in the mental health field for the past 12 years in a variety of settings across college campuses, inpatient psychiatric hospitals, alternative peer support networks, clinics, institutes, and currently private clinical practice. He’s invested in creating spaces that make healing accessible and relevant to people from different realms of experience, especially those that inhabit marginalizedspaces. The social structure and health care system have failed so many, and he tries to address and combat these shortcomings through a commitment to client-centered anti-oppression practices that honor that suffering is most often nested within inequitable and unjust systems and their consequences rather than individual lack. He specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community, BDSM and kink, race and ethnicity, trauma, and alternative relationship styles.