Divorce Tips: Divorce Horror Stories - False Allegations

No One Dies from Divorce

Being falsely accused of something, like sexually abusing your children, is one of the scariest things that can happen during divorce or custody battles. I’m telling you the horror story of one of my clients that this happened to recently. These allegations are scary. But it’s worth fighting them; hire an attorney that can take a stand and hold your false accuser accountable and reunite you with your children.

One of my clients’ ex accused my client of marital rape and sexually abusing their daughter. The police were called this first time. When a police officer talks to you to investigate an allegation, you are not under arrest so you’re not protected under Miranda rights, but anything you say or do can still be used against you. So you can plead the 5th, even if they don’t say that’s an option for you. You do not have to talk to them and you can say that you want to talk to an attorney first. Your attorney can advise you whether to give the police a statement or stay silent.

A second time with the same client, my client’s ex called DCFS (Division of Child and Family Services) on my client, again saying there was sexual abuse happening to their daughter by my client. If a DCFS case worker tries to talk to you, again anything you admit to will be used in their report and can be used against you in court. Don’t admit to anything without first talking to an attorney to decide whether it’s best to tell them your story or not.

After that, my client’s ex started going to doctors. Their daughter was getting a lot of UTIs and the ex kept telling the doctor she thought it was because her daughter’s father was molesting her. Doctors also have to report this sort of information. So it’s important as a parent to be really involved in your child’s life so not just the other parent can try to manipulate these professionals. If the doctor knows you, they are able to have a better understanding of both sides of the story and are going to want to be more investigative before they report anything, and can share information with you.

There were about 12 accusations from this ex, all of which had to be investigated. There was no evidence that there was any abuse or that any of the claims from his ex were true. My client started recording all conversations with his ex, which helped show his ex’s duplicity and mal intent. Make sure you know the legalities of recording conversations before you do that though. Utah is a 1-party consent state, so you can record any conversations as long as you’re a part of the conversation. But California, for example, is a 2-party consent state, so both parties have to know and approve being recorded for it to be legal. You can also take notes (especially if you can’t record conversations) after conversations with your ex or after you talk to the doctor. Make sure you don’t change your story. That leads to credibility issues.

The court was able to see that my client’s ex was using these allegations as a strategic advantage over him to get custody of their daughter. They were able to rule that she was not willing to facilitate a relationship with Dad, which led to a complete custody transfer to my client.

These allegations are scary. You have to protect yourself. Go find an attorney that’s willing to take a stand and disprove false allegations. You need to be able to hold the person accountable that is falsely accusing you, and you should be reunited with your children! It’s worth fighting for.