Effective communication-有效的沟通

Robot Monk Xian'er

Effective communication

Communication is not to persuadebut to understand. When we try to understand the other side with all sincerity,we will be understood accordingly. Why is it so hard to communicateeffectively? One speculation is that we are not skillful speakers. In fact, thereal reason is that we are much too skillful. You are skillful. He is alsoskillful. The irony is that what the skillful speakers say can’t be trusted.This leads to difficulty in communication. An honest heart with all sincerityis what we need to cultivate. Once this quality is built up in us,communication would be easy even without much talking.

If you can feel what the otherwants to say, what he is thinking right now, what is forming in this mind, thenyou will have a way to communicate with him. Otherwise, your conversation isjust idle chattering to kill time.

What is lacking, in ourcommunication with others, is tolerance, inclusiveness, and appreciation. Weneed to have the capacity to rejoice when others have done a good job and thecapacity to appreciate other’s views. It is a very important capability toobtain and cherish. Communication can be done even without words. When in thecompany of others, each and every of our move becomes communication. Effectivecommunication lies in understanding what is truly needed by the other side.This is the way to solve problems.

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有效的沟通

沟通不是为了说服对方，而是为了理解对方。真正用心去理解对方，同样也能得到对方的理解。为什么沟通起来很困难。一个原因也不是说不会说话，恰恰是太会说话，你也会说，他也会说，只是你说出的话对方不相信，那沟通就困难了。自己要去培养诚心，诚心培养起来了，不用多说话你的沟通就好了。

你能够感受到说，对方现在在想什么，他心里在想什么，行蕴造作，那么你才有办法去跟他交流，跟他沟通。那你不知道说，对方现在他在想什么，那你跟他说话，跟他交流，就变成打闲岔了。

人的这种交流也好，对话也好，沟通也好，都应该要有一种宽容的、包容的态度、心态，乃至要有一种欣赏的心态，就是别人做得好、别人做得对、别人的观点， 正确能够去欣赏别人，这种能力的获得和拥有也是很重要的。沟通并不一定是用语言，人和人相处的一言一行，都是在沟通。有效的沟通，是要体会到对方真实的需求，这才能解决问题。