On the loving of face-爱面子与有面子

Robot Monk Xian'er

On the loving of face

Face, in other words vanity, is what oneimagines others think of oneself. Often times, it is a pair of heavy shackles tyingus down. Those who worry about saving face are constantly tense,

minding every single detail, and wanting toplease others with all efforts. However, it is easy to lose oneself whenchasing after vanity. We should accept our imperfections and be open toopinions. People are often overly self-protective, unable to take any criticismand fearing to be looked down upon, which results in excessive caring aboutface, limiting oneself from progressing.

Those who can accept criticism well canbenefit from it and improve quickly, while those that worry about face saving, willonly suffer in vain. One’s face is built on hard work in becoming a betterperson, not simply on the opinions of others. Have principles, be responsible andrespect oneself, then no one can, in anyway, undermine your dignity. Worryingabout saving face does not help you build it. One gets respected, liked andpraised by being a giving, kind and wise person, who is worthy of respect andadmiration. “Having a sense of honor is more important than saving face; havinga good temper is more important than seeking medicine;

being trustworthy is more important thanfitting in; being honest is more important than being imposing; being cautiousis more important than saying too much; having an honorable mind is moreimportant than pursuing fame.” We should always try to improve from theinternal, instead of simply seeking approval from the external.

爱面子与有面子

面子，就是虚荣心，是自己幻想出来的别人眼中的自己。在很多情况下，这是我们身上套着的一副沉重的枷锁。爱面子的人，精神上总是无比紧张，在意每一个细节，总是竭尽全力取悦他人。追逐虚妄的荣光，就会迷失自己的本心。要接受自己不完美的现实，不要害怕批评。人们大都过度自我保护，不敢面对一点否定，害怕被别人看轻，“面子心理”过重，反倒难以进步。

有肚量接受批评的人，会成长得更快。看重面子的人，就会因面子而痛苦。面子不是他人给的而是自己挣的，把握好做人的准则，担负起应负的责任，尊重自己的人格，那么别人的任何行为都无法损害你的尊严。爱面子，不等于有面子。要想让大家尊重、喜欢、赞叹，就要做一个肯为他人付出，善良又智慧，值得人们尊重、喜欢的人。“护体面，不如重廉耻；求医药，不如养性情；立党羽，不如昭信义；作威福，不如笃至诚；多言语，不如慎隐微；博声名，不如正心术。”事事都应回到自己身上来努力，而不是向外妄想攀求。