Manage episode 289517589 series 2907906
My name is Eva Willie and I'm the daughter of the late Rev. Willie John Willie Sr and Linda Willie. I'm 49 years old and was raised on the Navajo Reservation. I left the reservation at the age of 16 years old. I left God, my family, and my home.
I had already started drinking at the age of 15 and my mind was full of impure thoughts of lustful sin. This took me straight into a 12 year gay relationship with my partner who had 3 kids.
At the age of 17, I had an instant family to support but had no idea what I was doing. I learned quickly how to survive in the city.
After my first 12 year relationship with my partner, I went into another 10 year gay relationship with another partner. Deep in my heart I knew my lifestyle was wrong. I continued to run from God and my parents. I didn't want to bring shame to my parents, especially my dad. No matter how much I sinned, my parents always loved me no matter what. They loved God first and always prayed for me.
I blamed God for the way I was and for the wrongful lust I had in me. I was angry with God and couldn't understand how God could allow this.
I was into my third committed gay relationship of another 12 years. Satan began to fill my mind telling me that the gay life style is right and it's ok - everyone is accepting of it and because God created me this way. However -I never found true happiness, true joy or true satisfaction. Deep in my heart, I knew I was living wrong in the sight of God.
I had no idea I was going to finally leave a 12 year committed relationship, dual income,, and live my life by myself. It would be the first time in all my life I would be alone in a new city and state and with no family and friends around me. God opened the doors in San Diego with the company I have been a part of for 29 years. While living in San Diego, I lost my father on July 25th of 2018 and my mother on October 26th 2018. I was devastated and it turned my life around. It brought me to my knees and I saw the emptiness in my soul. All the material things I had and how I thought I was on top of the world meant nothing. It was nothing when I saw how empty my heart was. I had nothing - I no longer had my parents. I was in this big city all alone.
Before my mother passed away, I brought her home with me in San Diego. I wanted her to be seen by the best doctors and given the best care. I didn't know this would be her final days until we were given the news by a third doctor who said that her cancer had spread. He gave us the news that my mom had only 30 days to live. Reality hit me that I would be losing my mom too.
My mom smiled and shook the doctors and nurses hands and thanked them all. I couldn't say anything. I just cried and took my mom home with me. The 30 days were the best days I ever spent with my mom. She was so excited when the family came to visit her. I turned on the Christian radio station for the first time. My mom asked me to read the Bible to her because the Bible was too heavy for her to carry.
Christian family members came over to support me and fellowship with my mom. To the very end of her life, my mom sang "At the Cross" and "This Little Light in Me". She had so much faith and love for God.
Just before my mother took her last breath there was this overwhelming peace I had never felt before. I believe the presence of God was there ready to take her in his arms.
I craved that peace, that joy and that happiness she had in her. My parents were not rich and didn't have a lot of material things but they had happiness, love, kindness, and unbelievable joy in their lives.
I turned my life to God. After all those years of believing the lies that God created me as a gay person and I was just born that way, I never thought my way of lusting and loving the same sex would ever change. I asked God to change my life, to change my way of thinking, to change my way of living. I would have never believed it, until it happened to me.
God the creator of all things- the Alpha and the Omega touched my heart, my mind and my soul, and created a new person from the inside out.
I have no doubt in my mind God can change anyone's life. No matter how far into sin you are in, no matter what you have done, God can change your life.
God is there waiting with open arms to give us peace, happiness and joy. No more jealousy, no more fighting, no more anger, no more being hurt by someone's unfaithfulness, which was all part of that gay lifestyle. No more pursuing happiness through alcohol and surrounding myself with false love in the world.
All that has perished and now I live a new life with God. I'm not perfect and I will always say God is still working on me. Amen!