Desire, Arousal, and Erection with Dr. Kelly Casperson


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Do you want tips for a stronger erection and better arousal? In this episode, urologist, podcaster, and author, Dr. Kelly Casperson reveals some of her most effective tips for you to apply right away. Pulling from the female perspective and sexuality, Kelly has some of the most well-rounded strategies for a healthy sex life I’ve ever come across. As the author of the book and podcast, You Are Not Broken, Kelly wants people to understand their sexuality and how to have better sex lives by dispelling myths and educating people on “real” sex.

Sit back, relax, and dive into today’s topic with Dr. Casperson and me: The Complex Mix of Biology, Psychology, and Social Factors That Influence Sexual Desire.

[00:00 - 06:29] How to Get Better Erection and Arousal from Female Perspective

• Get to know Dr. Kelly Casper and her esteemed background and passions.

• A sneak peek into her ground-breaking podcast, You Are Not Broken.

• Building an unbiased perspective of sex in a male-dominated practice.

• Tackling the problem of lack of education in the area of sex.

[06:30 - 13:49] What Sex Education Needs and How to Improve

• How the female experience of arousal differs from men.

• Similarities in male and female sexual functions.

• Understanding women's priority when determining if this sex is worth having.

• Focusing on the present moment during sex - Better Sex Through Mindfulness.

• The new adult sex education movement of normalizing body part visibility.

[13:50 - 22:43] When Desire Kicks In - Spontaneous and Reactive/Responsive Desire

• Defining and differentiating spontaneous vs. responsive desire.

• Reasons for low desire and how society exasperates the issue.

• Desire can happen after the fact; it doesn’t have to be before to enjoy sex.

• Keeping things fresh to combat the natural boredom of partnership.

• Reasons for low desire. - Heteronormativity Theory

• A quick word from our sponsor The Modern Man Club

[22:44 - 32:18] Sex is More Complicated Than You Might Think, but Worth Exploring

• Dispelling the myth of “Libido.”

• Sex is not as natural and simple as we think it is. It takes prioritizing.

“You DO [have time for sex]; you’re just choosing not to prioritize it. Which, no judgment, just good to know.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson

• An intro to Biopsychosocial aspects of sex.

• How Dr. Casperon’s book, You are Not Broken, dives deeper into these topics.

[32:19 - 39:18] How to Navigate Menopause for Women and Men

• Women are curious, but we lack education on the matter.

• A look inside what is actually happening in the body that you can’t see.

• Why it’s important to see the penis as a pump.

[39:19 - 44:40] Enjoy the Process, Don’t Endure it

• How to find more resources and connect with Dr. Casperson.

• All resources are beneficial for both men and women.

You Are Not Broke, Premium Membership.

• Remember to enjoy the journey.


“For women, when we try to figure out sex worth having, it’s [about] prioritizing her interest, her arousal, both in the brain and the pelvis to have sex worth desiring.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson

“Dropping into the body is about becoming aware of the present moment… Our brains love to think about the past, and they love to think about the future. Orgasms don’t happen in the past or the future; they happen in the present moment.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson

“Sex is not something you need to survive… If you want sex to be a part of your life, you need to prioritize it, and not sit around waiting for a wave of spontaneous desire to hit.” - Dr. Kelly Casperson

Connect with Dr. Kelly Casperson on Instagram. Be sure to check out her podcast, You Are Not Broken.

Want to regain control of your sex life? It’s time to reverse the effects that ED has had on your life. Join the Modern Man Club and start your road to full recovery and community.

For all links and resources mentioned on the show and where to subscribe to the podcast, please visit

Reveal the FREE treatment most men ignore that solves thousands of erectile dysfunction cases every year, plus the 5 biggest mistakes you must avoid if you want to say goodbye to your ED. Uncover it all in my free ebook, available to download now.

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