The Surprising Reason You Can't Let Go Of Your Past


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Do you ever feel like you are being haunted by your past? If so, you need to tune into “The Language of Love” to hear how you can heal your wounds so that you can finally let the past go.

We all experienced trauma as children, even if you fortunately didn’t have hugely disturbing experiences like sexual assault, physical abuse, or extreme poverty in your childhood. I call these kind of traumas “Big T” traumas, because they’re easily identifiable to all of us as areas of pain and terror.

However, there are also “little t” traumas, traumas that aren’t as easily identified as wounds. These events might include an overly critical parent, religious fear-mongering, bullying at school, weight struggles, learning difficulties, and sibling rivalry, just to name a few.

All of these experiences impact our self-worth, our beliefs about ourselves, our beliefs about how we should be treated, and about how the world works. They may not feel as worthy of healing and attention as other major wounds like abuse, but this kind of thinking only allows your ‘little t’ traumas to bury deeper into your psyche and bleed into all areas of your life.

That shame and embarrassment you feel about being gentle with your past wounds is in fact PART of your wound talking: If you feel like your pain isn’t serious enough or that you’re being too sensitive or that you don’t have the ‘right’ to feel upset about something that happened 20 years ago, guess what? That’s your core wound talking. Your core wound that tells you that you aren’t strong enough or that your pain isn’t worthy of tenderness or that other people have it worse than you, so you should just ‘get over it’….these are all messages we got from our family systems when our pain triggered them. They weren’t able to address our needs so they shamed us for having them: Now we as adults do the same thing. But we can change the pattern. This isn’t about wallowing in the past, it’s about healing it so we can finally move on.

If you can’t bring attention and tenderness to these parts of you that need healing, you will forever be dominated and controlled by your past. You won’t be able to expertly manifest your dreams and work towards your goals, because your energy is being sapped by these invisible wounds that just won’t heal. Listen to this episode to find out how you can begin to let go of the past right now.

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