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Split. The After Ever After Podcast

Ashley Wood & Jennifer Sanders

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Welcome to Split. The After Ever After Podcast co-hosted by Family Law Mediator Jennifer Sanders and Certified Divorce Coach Ashley Wood. Featuring guests, Q&A, tips, and updated info on all things separation, divorce, conflict resolution and co-parenting. Whether you’re newly separated or divorced and co-parenting, listen now for tips and advice on how to build a foundation for a more peaceful future.
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So, you've come to the place of deciding that you want a separation. Now what? How do you have one of the most difficult conversations of your life with someone? Is there ever a right time? The way you tell your spouse about your decision can set the tone for your entire separation and co-parenting future. There's no changing that fact that this ki…
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Spousal support (called alimony in the US) is one of the most complicated and contentious areas of family law. The guidelines are complex with lots of grey areas, which can mean lots of room for conflict. Having what you need to make informed decisions is important. Today we discuss the basics of the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines (SSAG), incl…
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Newly separated parents often don't realize just how many things there are to consider about the new co-parenting arrangement. Schedules, paying for extracurriculars, transition times, dealing with behaviour issues, introducing new partners are just a few issues of so many. Our guests today realized that taking the time to work out a detailed paren…
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It's another Q+A episode! In this Part 3 installment of our series on High Conflict People we take questions from YOU. Thank you so much to everyone that took the time to submit such though-provoking and personal questions. There's a little bit of everything here, ranging from issues with new partners, to ignoring food allergies, and how to deal wi…
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If you listened to last week's episode "Part 1: High Conflict People" you might have identified some high conflict personalities in your life. OK, so now what? In Part 2 of "High Conflict People" we discuss some practical strategies for communication with these types of people. We offer some scripts, tips, and our own anecdotes from the battlefield…
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Lawyer and Mediator Bill Eddy writes a lot about "HCP" or "high conflict people." He explains that these characters are out of the ordinary, don't act like 80% of the population, and are marked by continued conflict and chaos in their lives. A high conflict person could be that way because of a personality disorder, substance abuse, or other mental…
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We talk a lot on the podcast about dating and re-marriage after divorce, step-parents, and blended families. Most of us assume that the natural progression of a long-term relationship is to have your children meet your partner's and blend your lives together. BUT, what if you didn't blend families at all? What if your families don't even meet? WHAT…
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OK, you're divorced. WTF now? Enter Rob Roseman of wtfdivorce.com. When Rob's own world was turned upside down by divorce in 2020 and he started his search for resources to help him through it all. Now his website, IG page @wtfdivorce and his own podcast offer a steady stream of high quality resources to help you date better, co-parent smoother, an…
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Parenting itself is hard enough - trying to figure it out with your ex? That can be downright brutal. You ex might not have the same parenting style that you do, and might not be open to your feedback about it. What then? How can we manage behavioural issues with our children between two homes? What if the kids are playing us against each other to …
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In the world of conflict resolution and mediation our guest today needs no introduction. Bill Eddy is THE expert on all things dispute resolution. A prolific author, speaker, and professor, Mr. Eddy has been a strong voice in this world for more than 30 years. Bill Eddy is known for his practical, straightforward approach to resolving conflict. His…
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Is my divorce going to mess up my kids? They're so young - how do I know if they're going to be okay? In this episode we talk with Kimberly Ewertz, author of "Family Redefined: Childhood Reflections on the Impact of Divorce." Kimberly spent 5 years interviewing adult children of divorced parents, asking them about their experiences. She found many …
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Newly single and ready to mingle? Or...not? Some people can't wait to jump back into the dating world, while others don't even want to think about it. How do you know when you're ready to start dating again after separation and divorce? In today's episode we talk to Dr. Kristie Overstreet. As a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist, she's a pro t…
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In today's episode we talk with Helen Yack and Gabbi Silverberg of Rise Up Counselling. They bring 40 years of experience in child protection, therapy, and social work. We asked them to explain the most common reasons that they see conflict among co-parents, and how it can be resolved. They explain what they see as recurring problems, and how there…
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In this episode we speak with estate lawyer Shayna Beeksma, of Beeksma Law, about the importance of estate planning in a separation and divorce. When couples separate their property they often don't realize that without the proper agreements and wills in place their ex may still have legal rights to their assets, and/or power of attorney. Estate pl…
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There's no way around it that going through a separation is stressful. But, we often look at only the emotional and mental stress and not the toll it takes on our physical bodies. During this time of upheaval and change we often put physical fitness last on the list and neglect our health. Today we speak with fitness trainer Dara Bergeron about way…
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Having a major impact on one’s emotional health, financial security, social status and personal relationships, divorce is far more than just a legal process, yet many still consider a lawyer the only professional required to help them get through it. Working with the right attorney is an important part of navigating divorce successfully, but you’ll…
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Should you "lawyer up" with the best divorce lawyer money can buy, or can you use the services of a family law mediator? This is one of the first decisions you’ll make when facing a separation, and it’s a crucial one. The professional you choose to work with can set the tone for your entire separation, divorce, and future co-parenting. But, there’s…
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"Loyalty Binds" create an impossible situation for children who feel that they must constantly choose between their parents. We can easily spot the really terrible behaviour that creates them, but sometimes it's hard to see how we might be unknowingly contributing to them too. In this episode we start with the basics of defining the term "loyalty b…
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For most separating couples their biggest joint asset is their matrimonial home. In the current housing market the value of that asset has likely risen far beyond what either person imagined when it was first purchased. This creates a big problem for many people because it’s too expensive to buy-out the other spouse and prices are too high to be ab…
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If you’re going through a separation you’re already dealing with a boatload of personal stress, emotions, and big decisions. Trying to figure out how to talk to the kids about all of it can be a daunting task. Parents often agonize about how to inform their kids about this massive life change, and worry that they won’t do it the “right way” (hint: …
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Every year in the U.S., over 600,000 people age 50 years and older file for divorce - and researchers project that by 2030 this number will grow by one third. It has grown so rapidly that sociologists have already coined a term for it -- the “gray divorce revolution.” But Gray Divorce is not a neutral event for adult children. As the divorce rate f…
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Has divorce left you feeling cynical about marriage or relationships in general? Does the failure rate of second marriages make you feel hopeless about lasting love? Don't let divorce leave you jaded! In this episode, we speak with relationship expert Dr. Abby Medcalf who shares her research-backed tips to create a healthy relationship that lasts. …
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Selling your home following a marital separation combines two of life's most stressful events: moving and divorce. There are several factors that make selling a matrimonial home in divorce different from a typical real estate sale. As emotions run high, list price, showing schedules and offer negotiations can all be sources of conflict that, if not…
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Getting divorced or splitting up with your partner when you have an outstanding joint mortgage can be difficult. In this episode we've invited Mortgage Agent Christina Pentlichuk to share all of the things that can make this piece of the divorce puzzle less stressful! Christina explains whether it's better to stay or sell, how to prepare, and what …
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Vacations can be a great way for co-parents to maintain traditions and bond with their children. The problem is that vacation plans and activities often conflict with regular time sharing schedules and without planning or effective communication, post-divorce vacations can be an endless source of tension for co-parents. But it doesn't have to be th…
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Whether you are contemplating divorce, divorcing or recently divorced, you've likely found yourself feeling very unsettled by all of the uncertainty that accompanies this major life transition. Many find themselves wondering "what's next?!". In this episode, we speak with divorce expert, coach and author Lynette Triere to discuss all of the emotion…
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The ending of a marriage or any long-term relationship can make you re-evaluate everything you once knew about yourself and love. How do you know you’re ready (like really ready) to jump back into the saddle OR if you do feel ready, where or how should you start?! Joining us in this episode and here to help answer these questions is Jade Bianca - d…
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Even if you don't quite understand what narcissism is, it's highly likely you've at least heard of it or seen the term used online. Although experts report that a very low percentage of the population has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, many people report that their former spouse/co-parent is or behaves like a narcissist. In this episode, we spe…
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In this mini episode, we discuss a clause commonly found in parenting agreements called Right of First Refusal. What is this clause and should you have it in your own parenting plan? Listen now to find out! You can learn more about Jennifer's practice and schedule your free phone consultation by clicking here Find us on Instagram: Ashley @theconsci…
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Figuring out the “right” way to discuss separation and divorce with kids is a common concern for parents. As we’ve discussed on the show before, books can be a great tool to open up conversations about hard topics. Our guest today is Kimberly King: an award winning author, child-development professional, certified early-childhood educator and speak…
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In this episode we speak with Stephen Cordovano: co-parenting dad behind Good Dad Movement and creator of some of the funniest parenting memes on the gram! Many newly separated fathers worry about losing the relationship with their children when they move out of the family home. Through GDM, it has been Stephen's mission to inspire a strong communi…
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At the start, divorce can feels like a win/lose situation. Without a full understanding of all the legal terminology, separated parents can quickly find themselves battling over what they perceive to be the ultimate divorce trophy: custody. Whether or not this example speaks to your situation, many points outside of custody must be considered when …
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Our guest today is here to answer the question just about every co-parent eventually finds themselves faced with: WHEN and HOW should you introduce a new partner to the kids?! As a relationship, co-parenting and blended family coach (and a co-parent herself), Tamar Burris is passionate about helping families navigate difficult transitions. Her new …
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Do you feel as though your ex is simply IMPOSSIBLE to communicate with? Do you constantly find yourself walking away from a conversation with your former spouse feeling dismissed or disrespected? OR do you spend hours obsessing over a future conversation but then find yourself completely tongue tied once you're face to face? Our guest today is here…
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We've all been there. You're finally starting to get along with your ex. After a conflict-free drop off you think to yourself "I am really getting the hang of this!" or "this whole co-parenting thing isn't too bad"... only to be hammered texted by your rage-filled ex an hour later about how you NEVER remember to pack the kid's iPad that THEY paid f…
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A lot of questions arise throughout the divorce process and during the transition from coupled to co-parenting. We invited our listeners to share their own questions and concerns and now it’s time for some answers! From dealing with trash talking exs to kids who are reluctant to meet their other parent’s new partner – we’re here to provide you with…
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The COVID-19 pandemic is certainly upending lives everywhere and separating or divorced parents are no exception. Those who felt their co-parenting relationship was already under strain are now facing a whole new host of challenges. How can you co-parent and raise children between two homes when everyone is being urged to socially distance? What if…
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Listening. It might seem like a natural process- one that doesn’t need to be learned or practiced. But if you constantly find yourself saying things to your former spouse like "You never listen to me!", "That’s not what I said!" or "Are you going to let me talk now?!" then you already know there’s a big difference between listening and just hearing…
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Christmas is a time when families come together to celebrate, enjoy each other’s company and create lasting memories. Which is why it can be a very difficult time for parents who are separated or divorced. For those who are eager to keep long standing traditions in place, conversations about new arrangements can be fraught with emotion and holiday …
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Parenthood and particularly the job of feeding kids is hard. Many of us enter the job with enthusiasm and optimism, only to find that convincing your kid to eat more than cheese strings or cheerios can be an uphill battle. Toss in the stress and anxiety associated with divorce and you can quickly find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed and def…
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After years of conflict, divorced or separating couples often feel hopeless about an amicable co-parenting relationship. Their communication is ineffective or non existent and they anticipate it will continue this way forever. This week Jennifer and Ashley explain how understanding your physiological reactions to conflict can help break these patte…
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Divorce can be a painful and draining experience - both emotionally AND financially. This week cohosts Jennifer and Ashley introduce themselves and discuss the implementation of mediation within the separation & divorce process. Jennifer explains how guided negotiation works well for couples who are separating amicably as well as those who are expe…
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