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Welcome to Astronomica, a science fiction OSR actual play podcast using the Stars Without Number RPG system. Join Star Master Stan and regular players Colin, Cullen, Geoff, and Kristen as they crew the definitely-not-piloted-by-a-rogue-AI ship The Admiral Grace. From encounters with magnificent space whales to battling intergalactic corporate scumbags, there is nothing this crew can't make way more complicated than it needs to be. Tag along every Wednesday and listen in as we learn that the ...
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It's Not the Car

Sam Smith, Ross Bentley, Jeff Braun

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It’s Not the Car is a podcast about people and speed. We tell racing stories and leave out the boring parts. Ross Bentley is a former IndyCar driver and a world-renowned performance coach. Jeff Braun is a champion race engineer with time in NASCAR and IMSA. Sam Smith is an award-winning journalist and a former executive editor of Road & Track magazine. We don’t love motorsport for the nuts and bolts—we love it for what it asks of the meatbag at the wheel.
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And now back to our regularly scheduled programming! We are joining our broadcast in progress as Auggie, Mackie, and Hilde come to terms with their graphic loss of Nix Bombardo. Meanwhile Hopper is acting real weird and Yazid finds a way back to their friends. Well, their work colleagues? Work people, anyway. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics…
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Jeff and Ross co-host this show. Jeff is a race engineer. Ross is a performance coach who’s worked with thousands of drivers—Indy winners, Le Mans winners, even the late Ken Block. Thirty years ago, one kid stood out from the rest; he would become one of the most decorated drivers in American history. Oddly enough, that kid was Jeff's son. Colin Br…
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It's the final part of our special lil side quest and we're about to find out how far "There's been a horrible accident!" can carry us through a combat. Hint: It's way more effective than you might think. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Ne…
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Chris Andrews was once a NASCAR Cup Series engineer and crew chief. He’s worked hand-in-hand with drivers like Robby Gordon, Bill Elliott, Carl Edwards, Matt Kenseth, and Kasey Kahne. His resume holds names like Roush Fenway, Evernham Motorsports, and Richard Childress Racing. What you have probably guessed already: Chris has some *excellent* stori…
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Part 2 of our very special one shot that's technically cannon because it's the game the crew is playing while the PCs try not to die. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednesday. Wan…
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“You jerk,” they’ll shout, “that show title isn’t relatable! Only the die-hards will understand! For pete’s sake, man, think of the traffic analytics!” Who cares? I am Sam and I write these ep descriptions, and that title makes me happy. If you don’t like it, hey, you probably aren’t the kind of person to listen to a show about a “flap,” anyway. An…
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With our main crew down a hole and dealing with the surprise death of their new friend (and not incidentally separated from their chief violence officer), our camera shifts focus to those other guys back at the ship. If you ever wondered what Chevy, Squoitle, and all those others who definitely have names get up to while the players are off revolut…
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How do you know when to let go of something you love? What if you know it’s time but still think about that something every minute of every day? If you’re INTC co-host Ross Bentley, you back up but you don’t give up—and you lean into what you’re good at. Ross was once a pro driver in IndyCar and IMSA. He is now a pro driver *coach*. And while he’s …
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While Yazid practices their newfound love of fashion with the help of those prisoners from last time, the rest of the crew heads off to meet Lidea. Also introducing a Very Special Guest from this year's Astronomicon! If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast …
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OUR NEW WEBSITE IS WORSE THAN YOU HOPED: ⁠⁠⁠www.itsnotthecar.com/⁠⁠⁠ Once, long ago, a German engineer looked at a VW Beetle and thought, “Ahh, my little streitzel, we should tango with the hot-rod physics of love!” The Porsche 911 is divisive. People love ’em. People hate ’em. People fire ’em backward into ditches and Armco and spit excuses for ho…
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Time to start charming the locals. For a given value of "charm". And "locals" as it happens. Meanwhile Hilde finds out pretending to be part of a community takes more than stealing a dead person's face. PS: Don't skip the intro if you want to hear a really passionate defense of the "psychic violence of creation" PPS: This combat goes out to you, Br…
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AVERT YOUR EYES FROM OUR NEW MERCH STORE: ⁠⁠www.itsnotthecar.com/⁠⁠ ***Don’t ever go there! It will rot your brain! (These annoying store mentions will stop soon, we promise.)*** Once, in college, Sam studied under a dignified old journalism professor. “The thing about putting the word ‘sex’ in a headline,” this prof said, “is that it’s the easy wa…
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Remember that wasp nest we decided to bypass last time? Yep, so does Hilde. Time to make a new friend, go do that thing we didn't do, and maybe even flirt with a cult member a little bit, as a treat. Heads up that this week's intro is extra long so if you're not feeling it you can skip to about the 24 minute mark for the recap. We had a few announc…
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WE HAVE A MERCH STORE NOW: ⁠https://www.itsnotthecar.com/⁠ You asked, we delivered! . . . is exactly what we will tell the authorities. *** 10% OFF ALL ORDERS FOR THE FIRST WEEK *** BRIEF SALES PITCH: Sam built a website. That site holds both useful info about INTC and driving-adjacent merchandise. Sam wrote every word there and designed all of our…
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This week we go back in time and check in with our Astronomicon/Nerd Camp correspondents in the field. That's right, we took the recording rig this year so be on the look out for an even very-er special-er episode sometime in the near future. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click sub…
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Formula 1 can be so boring. The King Mother-Humper of dull TV, with so much unknown: Why is Danny Ric slow now? Are those cars battling, or does it just look that way? How many different hairstyles can Lando Norris possibly have, and why does every single one make him look like a dapper little cutie patootie? Here’s the catch: Every broadcast holds…
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It's time to descend into the swamp with nothing but our trusty kits and this fan boat Mackie whipped up in like 30 minutes. Of course its functional, why would you even ask? If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed …
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What happens when famous actors go fast? Not just Cool Hand Luke. Also Tom Cruise, Patrick Dempsey, and many others, including that guy I can’t remember from that one show. (You know—that dude with the hair and the face?) Spoiler: There is crashing! But that’s not the point. Ross has coached Hollywood celebrities. Jeff once worked with Paul Newman …
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Our newly self-actualized pirate crew finishes up a few tasks surface-side before attempting to finish up a few tasks ship-side. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednesday. Wa…
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Cheats II: Electric Boogaloo! Back by popular demand, like before but more! Firsthand accounts from an INTC host who works in the paddock! Our first installment of “How Pro Racers Cheat” was back in May. We didn’t intend for this to become a series, but you loved it and asked for more. We could have said no, but that would be lame, and then we woul…
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With N-Zen consigned to the endless void, it's time to hit up Port Hues for a whole bunch of quest turnin' in. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednesday. Want even more from …
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In the summer of 1965, a V-8-powered love song from California dethroned Ferrari, shut up the haters, and won America its first FIA manufacturer’s road-racing championship. Naturally, almost no one here noticed. The Californian car was a gutsy experiment from a 28-year-old ex-GM designer named Pete Brock. Their story holds bootstraps, napkin math, …
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Grab your favorite hanky because this episode is gonna make you produce fluids. No, not those fluids, the other ones. The sadness ones. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednes…
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Part 2 of our epic combat continues now! If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednesday. Want even more from Team Meatbag? Check us out online at www.astronomicapodcast.com. Here …
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When INTC’s tape day rolled around, Sam was sick. He landed a nasty bout of food poisoning and went wreck-it ralphing. So we postponed our planned show, and then Ross and Jeff hit the mic to improvise. Their topic? The driver-engineer relationship! Questions answered in this ep: Why do you need an engineer, anyway? What makes that relationship cruc…
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So remember last week when Mackie - our illustrious captain who is definitely the best captain, just ask Hopper - said there was nothing to worry about? Uh....well, here's part one of that nothing. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New…
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Once, Jeff and Robby Unser tried to qualify a car for the Indianapolis 500. Jeff was the engineer. Unser was the driver. The car stunk to high heaven. Unser was scared. This is that story. Here now, one man’s experience with the epically uncompetitive Riley & Scott Mk. VII Indy Racing League Indy car. Has Jeff Braun—esteemed INTC host, legendary bu…
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The ground team carries out a daring stealth mission which Mackie absolutely and in no way compromises. Hilde shows off a new talent while Yazid and Hopper pretend to enjoy buying people (yucky). Auggie waits for everything to go pear-shaped so he can swoop in and save the day. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of me…
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Gossip time! Why did Ross steal that Ferrari from Chip Ganassi? Just who dropped that tire on Jeff's toe at Daytona and became his sworn enemy for life? Which aging F1 driver did Sam give a wedgie to in the pits at Lime Rock? Listen and find out! (Warning: This episode may not actually contain the above information.) This episode's working title wa…
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While CB tries to convince the pirates to unionize, Hopper and Yazid draw closer to their goal. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednesday. Want even more from Team Meatbag? C…
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Well, Timmy, when a rubber molecule and a piece of earth love each other very much, they do a special hug, see, and . . . uh . . . hysteresis . . . wait, no, it’s heat cycles . . . er . . . glass point? Short answer: Magic! Tires are magic! Warning: We get lightly tech-nerdy here. This show’s format rotates weekly, because squirrel. This format is …
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Once, an English retiree made Ferrari and Red Bull mad. He looked like an accountant and wore dad sweaters. The team he ran was a down-on-its-luck collection of castoffs and pirates; in their very first season, they risked everything and landed the impossible. Sound like a sports movie? Conveniently, the whole thing was basically a cross between “M…
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The away team descends upon the mysterious moon while Mackie and CB receive an intriguing hail. Hale? The thingie when a person pings you with a message and then you talk at them and accidentally tell them things you probably shouldn't but it's okay because you just throw a sexbot at them and hope they don't shoot you. However you spell that. If yo…
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Is the crew of the Irish Goodbye a pirate crew? Does their captain have an eye patch? Did they just receive a treasure map with a giant X marking some potentially lucrative spot? Only one way to find out! If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platfo…
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If someone offered you a chance to drive one of the fastest race cars on earth, would you do it? The catch: If you screw up, your boss will shut down your office and fire you and everyone you work with. Also, you have the entire Indianapolis Motor Speedway to yourself and McLaren-Mercedes people are watching and judging and SERIOUSLY JUST RELAX ALR…
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When you've got four days in metadimensional space to kill, you gotta use that time wisely. And by wisely we of course mean trying to solve a puzzle we failed to figure out waaaaay back in episode 2. Fingers crossed our adventures have given us just a *smidge* more info to maybe learn something new about this mysterious alien obelisk Stardaddy is s…
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It’s another “No Dumb Questions!” You email us to ask, we sit down to answer. There are no dumb questions, but there might be some dumb answers. Today’s focus is . . . Formula 1 drivers! What makes one better than another? Mistakes, for one thing. No room for error in the big leagues. Unless you’re Lance Stroll, in which case, well . . . his pops o…
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It's Chatstronomica and you know what that means! Time to enjoy a few adult beverages while answering your questions. As usual, this one is lightly edited with an extended cut available soon on our Patreon feed. Thanks for all your great questions and we'll see ya on the other side! If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band …
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Everything you always wanted to know about a sliding car but were too cool / afraid / busy paying for a chunk of Armco to ask. Okay, maybe not *everything*. Popular questions not addressed herein: Why is a slide? Who I win track day? Is them car better have more dinner-roll stiffness? Have you ever really *looked* at your hands? This show’s format …
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With a fledgling revolution taking its first shaky steps on Panamorphe, Team Meatbag heads off into the metaphorical sunset secure in the knowledge that they've done good. Probably. Maybe? Either way, it's time to blow this pop-sickle stand. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subs…
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Once, a long time ago, a brave man went to a beach and tried to drive faster than anyone ever had. He did not survive. This is his story. Perhaps you saw the date in this episode’s title and thought, “The 1920s? Prehistoric! Swipe left, bruh, yuck!” Which is definitely a take. Some people think the past is a dull place. Nothing to do with who we ar…
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Free bonus episode! To celebrate the release of Sam’s new book, “Smithology,” we’ve released one audio excerpt, read by him, every Monday for a month. This is the fourth and final installment. The book’s full title is “Smithology: Thoughts, Travels, and Semi-Plausible Car Writings, 2003–2023.” It’s an anthology of Sam’s writing for car magazines ov…
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Is this a free bonus episode where Ross and Jeff break down and analyze the 2024 Indy 500 and 2024 Monaco Grand Prix? Indeed! Sam is on this episode, but he mostly just listens, because he didn't watch either race this year. Boo hiss, that guy, what a chump, right? Wait, doesn’t Sam write these episode descriptions? Isn’t he just talking to himself…
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Y'all, we gotta figure out how to get this split party back together now, ya hear? If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to click subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. New episodes hit the feed at midnight Tennessee time every Wednesday. Want even more from Team Meatbag? Check us out o…
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Secrets dished! Stories told! Firsthand accounts from an INTC host who works in the paddock! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll ponder the nature of human morality! This episode’s title implies a question. For the long answer, press play. The short answer is, “very effectively.” Sometimes. Mostly. (Insert push-to-Penske IndyCar joke here.) This show’…
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Free bonus episode! To celebrate the release of Sam’s new book, “Smithology,” we’re releasing one audio excerpt from it, read by him, every Monday for a month. This is the third installment. The book’s full title is “Smithology: Thoughts, Travels, and Semi-Plausible Car Writings, 2003–2023.” It’s an anthology of Sam’s writing for car magazines over…
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With enthusiastic revolutionaries closing in and a deadline to meet, Hopper, Yazid, and CB get a brilliant idea (hint hint: Looks like the Meatbag folks are at it again). Meanwhile, Auggie and Mackie hang tight on their way back to The Irish Goodbye. If you enjoy the mildly unhinged antics of Stardaddy and his band of merry madpersons, be sure to c…
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“You’re gonna get fired anyway, so you might as well start racing!" Clay Millican was a forklift operator. He quit that job to chase a dream in drag racing, and now he's an NHRA Top Fuel legend. He's also our very first guest on It’s Not the Car! This show’s format rotates weekly, because squirrel. We call this format “Guest Teaches Us a Thing"—in …
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Another free bonus episode! Why? Sam has a new book out! To celebrate, we’re releasing four excerpts, each read aloud by him, every Monday for a month. This is the second installment. Sam’s book is called, “Smithology: Thoughts, Travels, and Semi-Plausible Car Writings, 2003–2023.” It’s an anthology of his writing for car magazines over the last 20…
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You know how sometimes someone says something funny and you're like "Oh damn, that's a title right there" and then it's really just a one off joke referencing an old movie that doesn't *really* explain the episode but then you still use it? So yeah, here we are. Anyway, hit that play button for Yazid's first violence! PS: We've got a longer intro t…
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