With the light fading, this long-awaited series comes to its long-awaited end. We hope it has brought some fun and frivolity to your otherwise dank existence but, if it hasn't, may we suggest you complain to the BBC, as they've much more time on their hands than we have right now. While you dip your nib in green ink, why not listen with your lughol…

Put on your boogie shoes and listen to this week's collection of lunatic skits and whatnot, or vice versa. Trilby hats are well to the fore, along with a giant aubergine and a cucumber sandwich or two, but all is not as it seems - or is it? Or, indeed, isn't it? Become a hit at parties simply by tuning in, identify the cast members and what sordid …

Believe it or not, someone who purports to be 80s pop star Nik Kershaw makes a guest appearance in this week's fun-filled show, in which a jingle is played backwards. But what does he - or anyone else, for that matter - know about crockery belonging to Nobel prize winners? And can The Actor Greg Haiste complete his own joke before it's too late? Li…

Why not walk around your garden while listening to this week's episode, part of which comes to you from a cupboard on the back lot at Universal Studios? If you don't have a garden of your own, why not walk around someone else's garden, such as the President of the United States. His security detail will be very happy to see you. Whilst you're peram…

In this week's jam-packed episode, which was constructed with the aid of a complex arrangement of ropes and pulleys, we take a sideways look at the week's biscuits. A Jammie Dodger from Tinseltown tells some tall tales and, due to circumstances beyond our Fig Roll, more of your letters and emails are given an airing in Dear Dredge, although sometim…

Well, if it isn't the long-awaited return of our long-awaited show. If it isn't, we don't know what it is. If you happen to know, write to the usual address and you could win a clock radio. That's right, we've somehow managed to re-engage our cast of several to bring you a fresh set of Smurftastic sketches and sounds from the very epicentre of some…

It's the last episode of this hugely inflatable series, which can only mean one thing: yes, it's the last episode of the series. Or is it? Yes, it is. And we end it all in style with a whole host of famous guests flown in from all over Melton Mowbray. But where are Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Grumpy, Grover and Muriel? Who is the mysterious 'Frank Muir?…

Well done for making it to Episode Five, where we count our chickens both before and after the return of agricultural icon Farmer Collins, just for good measure. Ralph Ploojagig doesn't make an appearance this week - or any other week, for that matter - but perhaps Sunday Brunch will take him under their wing and give him some hot broth or both. Al…

This week John looks at the rising problem of cellophane. He also meets a man in the street who takes a dim view of electricity, along with a porcupine called Ronald who emits squeaking noises (the two may be related). Plus catch up with the show's free-falling producer Richard Cray as he spends a welcome break in hospital. Why not send him hard-bo…

Today's low, low budget episode is brought to you by Kludge, which now comes in a handy three-ounce tin. On the 'show', for want of a more apposite description, you'll hear details of how to join our fan club, which proudly boasts over three members, many of them still alive. We welcome David Lynch as himself, sadly, and there is entertainment of a…

In this week's slightly concave episode, John stumbles on the secret of life but loses it again during a particularly dramatic game of Buckaroo, and a man who lives on top of your TV set becomes embroiled in string. In the words of Twig Harper, never ever ever ever EVER forget that, whatever this programme contains, standards will be upheld in this…

John Dredge returns with a new series that really lets the flavour flood out. False claims aside, car parks will be all the rage in this, the first episode since the last one, so spare a thought for things both hither and yon. Non-special guests include avant-garde composer Arnold Schoenberg, who will be communicating in his own inimitable style. C…

In the last but also final programme of the series there are gannets for all the family, but it's the raspberries you need to watch out for. Tyne and also Wear are on the agenda, along with Leighton Buzzard, You and Yours, and the front door. Original beat combo The Garglers make an unwelcome reappearance, as does Terry, and, indeed, June. But will…

In this week's barnstorming brouhaha of balderdash, agricultural singer/songwriter Farmer Collins goes more beserker than ever before. There's an exclusive wait as part of our detective serial which I've forgotten the title of, and Kojak tries to get out of Birmingham in his own inimitable style. Despite this, Leighton Buzzard shines forth once aga…

This week's barmy bonanza of bits and pieces brings you the BBC Mallard Orchestra direct from the lake, like, and there's a rather unusual visitor for both Terry and, indeed, June. We present an extremely dangerous space adventure complete with ice lollies, but who is Barry Morse? And can you think of a link? (Please note: Eeeee is pronounced eeeee…

Nah den, in this week's 'programme' there's an exclusive Spot the Spatula competition (weather permitting), and we take a detailed look at the sporting world of sport, although it is rather difficult in this light. There are sessions from The Thwarted Postmen and Nancarrow's Not Normal, and children's favourite Basil the Cylinder nearly has another…

This week's show is held together with a special adhesive - but which one? Tune in and find out! There's an unusual vocal performance from Farmer Collins, who makes a special guest appearance by arrangement with silt, and when it comes to plans for chart domination there's no one quite like Numan. Tired and emotional? So is Trip Advisor expert Pete…

Let the fuzz ducks be unfurled once more as we present a seriously weird show, filled full of a galaxy of stars from all over Catford. David Lynch returns to read the weather forecast despite a landmark court ruling, and there's radiophonic stomachs a-plenty from both far and wide, and in that order. To be fair though, the gasman appears to be pres…

It'll take a lorry load of dynamite to stop us - and that's exactly what this week's episode provides. We also have several less than special guests, each bringing something to the table in their own inimitable style. But where are the chairs? Is it standing room only? Will the fuzz duck win through? And, if so, win through what? Tune in and find o…

An exciting detective serial doesn't kick off this week's programme. In fact, the serial comes slightly later into the show than you might think, although just how far in you think it is I have no idea. Never mind, though, as artichokes are very much to the fore tonight, along with classic U-boats and sundry assorted burgon dispensers. Ka-pow!…

Biscuits! Ever wondered what space aliens get up to in Frinton? No?!? Then here's your chance to find out! Coming to you directly from our Pebble Mill studios, this week's mellifluous montage of music and movement comes to you directly from our Mebble Pill studios. For your free World of Twig Harper Magazine, please see press for details. Failing t…

This week, The Actor Greg Haiste emerges from enforced retirement with self-penned material and receives short shrift, which becomes shorter and shriftier as time goes on. We also bring you not-at-all-acclaimed Trip Advisor contributor Peter Pilbeam as he reviews another hotel or something. Plus David Lynch showcases his unique control of the weath…

To the lilting strains of your friendly neighbourhood fuzz duck, we gather another episode while we may. In tonight's barnstorming bonanza of balderdash, Farmer Collins is on hand with a new yet unimproved agricultural song, and Terry Medford has trouble with his slippers. Plus, in Part Two, you can hear both Parts Three and Four for a limited time…

In tonight's opening salvo of stuff, we bring you up-to-the-minute Shoe Shop News from the actual owners of a shoe shop. Avant-garde film-maker and amateur weather forecaster David Lynch turns up uninvited yet again, and there's a game show the like of which you've never heard before or since - but who is in the soundproof booth? And what of Basil …

And lo, we find ourselves at the end of another season of nutty audio raves from John Dredge and his heavily-coerced team of Richard Cray, Anna Emerson, Greg Haiste and James Shakeshaft until such a time as they are prepared to go 'boing' in the same room as each other once again. But never fear, odd listener, for they go out in fine style with an …

John Dredge presents a startling report on the year's most shocking household implements. There will also be odd noises of all shapes and sizes, plus an argy-bargy of aquatic goodies including the sound of a very large splash, courtesy of our friends at Thames Water. All this, plus Leighton Buzzard in colour. With Richard Cray, Anna Emerson, Greg H…

The omnipresent John Dredge returns – or does he? Some say he’s never been away. Tune in to find out.Listeners in New Malden should take note that our roadshow team are also in the area, so please stand well back and allow them to pass along Coombe Road unhindered. Also this week: Who's behind the cartoon door? Is it Lord Hailsham? Or is it Richard…

In the third of six new podcasts, John Dredge invites our crack team of announcers to announce what's in this week's announcer-packed programme. Yes, every single item in the show has been lovingly frosted with audio glucose. Or has it? We welcome back agricultural song stylist Farmer Collins for some reason, and there's other things both here and …

In this week's edition, sideboards rule the roost and there's cubes a-plenty when Reigate comes into the picture - yet all is not as it seems (observe the conundrum as our theme tune is marched straight out of the studio). Pop personalities and phone-ins galore are also very much in short supply tonight, so grab your armchairs and await further ins…

Raise your holdalls once more, as the time has come for John Dredge to invoke the spirit of plinths, cagoules and vestibules and unveil a second series of The Nothing to Do With Anything Show.In this first act of audio audacity, we highlight the achievements of man, woman and shrew with not only the sounds of tomorrow today, but also the sounds of …

This week's indie comedy special includes the new single by Fractious Nit and an interview with pop twinnock Rex Twix. Madonna and Morrissey will be arguing in the kitchen, and there's another mention of New Malden as well as an uncanny reference to steam engines. We're still looking for people to take part in our 'Get in the Sideboard with a Craze…

On this week's programme, there's a very special interview which we can't tell you too much about because we've forgotten who it's with.Acclaimed non-Frinton-based actress Anna Emerson will also be saying several words, and guest star Reg Chimpolomew will be doing very little.There's also the ongoing adventures of Basil the Cylinder, the answers to…

On this week's show, you'll not only hear a combine harvester but also the sound of a specially-built giant catapult. Guests include acclaimed actors Greg Haiste and Anna Worthington, as well as the less acclaimed Crazy Eric and Leonard Aircraft. There's extensive information about shoe shop logistics, and a feature on old bits of bark for both you…

In today's edition of t'Nowt to do Wi' Owt Show, why not join in with our agricultural singalong? There's also the sound of a tree falling over, and spaceships for all the family. This week's show is presented by John Dredge, who not only presents the show this week, but every week in fact. So put your feet up, sit back and deactivatatronalize for …

This week's long-range programme comes to you from a burgon dispensing plant in Frinton, and includes fabulous adventures concerning artichokes and a special mention of New Malden for fans of New Malden. There's an unedited interview with a slightly odd person, an unusual quiz about sideboards, and one of Britain's oldest actors makes a special app…

In this week's holdall-packed episode, Frinton TV's Twig Harper will be presenting the first of a 200-part series about something or other. There's also the first ever appearance on radio of an alarm clock with a tuba nailed to the side, and a Dalek will be appearing as himself. Plus find out what to do if a bowler hat is fired at you from a cannon…