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How do we find the permission to love ourselves? How do we give ourselves permission to fully and deeply love others? Conversations on love, spirituality, and how we can holistically heal our relationship with ourselves and with others. Learning together as a community to move from shame to self-love, transform trauma, and overcome addictions. You can transform your relationship with yourself. You can live a life where you fully love and accept yourself. About Jerry, “When I realized I was t ...
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In this episode, we dive into how to reprogram our limiting beliefs with the power of positive affirmations. Have you tried positive affirmations in the past and they haven’t seemed to work for you? Do you feel like it’s been impossible to let go of your limiting beliefs? In this episode, we discussed those questions and more. Discover how changing…
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Can radical self kindness be the key to your healing journey and if so, how do we practice it? In this episode, we celebrate one year of the Permission to Love podcast as well as discuss the practice of radical self-kindness, exploring why it's crucial for healing and self-love. Thank you for being a part of this podcast for the last year. This pod…
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Do I have to forgive someone in order to heal? I get that question a lot. In this episode I hope to provide some answers to that question as well as others. When we understand that forgiving someone is about us and not about the other person our entire perspective on the subject of forgiveness will dramatically shift. Forgiveness is ultimately abou…
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Have you ever stood in the shadow of your own unmet potential, feeling the weight of the person you might have been if ltrauma hadn't left its mark? This is a reality many face, and in our latest podcast episode, we journey into the process of grieving what trauma stole from us as a way to journey into deeper healing. Together, we confront the raw …
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In this episode we discuss how to discover the transformative power of the present moment to heal your relationship with yourself and how being present can help heal your nervous system. Whether you struggle with being present, feel overwhelmed by life's demands, or seek escape through distractions, this episode is tailored to guide you towards pro…
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There is a place where you can fully accept yourself and have your self-development/self-improvement come from the place of self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is a much more healthy and powerful energy to come from as we work to improve ourselves. Have you ever struggled with being on a never ending treadmill of self-development. Would you like to le…
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Do you always feel like you need to fix yourself? Do you feel like there is something wrong with you, and if you just keep working on yourself, then you will finally feel "normal" and be able to accept yourself? The feeling that we need to fix ourselves is often a response to trauma and something we developed as a way to stay safe. In response to t…
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Have you ever felt like you are chasing after trying to be normal? Do you carry a nagging feeling that there is something wrong with you? Are you always looking for something in your life that needs to be fixed? I carried that feeling for over 40 years, and in this episode, I share how I got rid of those thoughts and feelings. This episode is the f…
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Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship that you have. Why? Because your relationship with yourself is determines everything else in your life. When was the last time you asked yourself how your relationship with yourself was going? How long has it been since you took an honest look at how you are treating yourself? This …
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Anger is often one of the first emotions we feel as we begin to heal. It can also be a sign that we are healing. Giving ourselves permission to be angry and to feel anger is an important part of the healing process. In this episode, we discuss the following: How to keep from shaming yourself for feeling anger Why we shouldn’t suppress our anger How…
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Do you struggle with feelings of shame as a person of faith? Do you feel like you are always trying to please God and that God sees you as sinful and shameful? Has the focus of your faith journey been on how much you are falling short? If you do, you are not alone. I carried those feelings for over four decades. I was confused about why my faith in…
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Do you wonder why you seem to keep choosing toxic relationships? Are you stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns? Do you make promises to yourself about how you will “never” allow someone to treat you "that way" again, only to find yourself right back in the same situation again and again? If any of the above resonates, this episode is for you. In…
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Asking the question "what if" can either spiral us into fear and hopelessness or catapult us into the life we want. One of the ways we heal is by using our imagination. When we dream of what we can be, we will begin to move ourselves in that direction. In this episode, we look at the following: The Power of Asking a Question How Asking "What If" Ca…
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Do you feel like your own worst enemy? Are you constantly avoiding yourself? Are you uncomfortable being in your own presence? In this episode, I discuss the following: 1. What is self-avoidance 2. Why we avoid ourselves 3. What happens when we avoid ourselves 4. How we can stop avoiding ourselves 5. What happens when we return to ourselves 6. Why …
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Shame is one of the most devious emotions. It tricks us into thinking we are the shame. Shame has to be addressed as a part of our healing process. We will stay stuck as long as we think we are the shame. Stuck believing that something is wrong with us and that we can’t heal. The wonderful news is that we can heal and get free from shame, and one o…
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Asking for help can be really hard, and it is a significant and brave step in our healing. When we are serious about our healing, we will start to ask for help when we need it. But why is it so hard to ask for help? What keeps us from asking for help when we need it? This episode is a continuation of the "How We Heal" series. In this episode, we ta…
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Over the next several months, I will be sharing step-by-step the process I went through to learn how to heal the childhood trauma I experienced, my life, and my relationships by healing my relationship with myself. In this episode, I share the first step, the choice to heal, and how to make that choice stick. We often choose to heal, but shortly af…
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Does our past really matter? Why does every therapist want to go digging around in our past? What is the connection between our past and our current struggles? In this episode, I am joined once again by my therapist, Lisa Kemppainen, as we discuss these questions and more. You can heal, and an important part of the healing process is returning to t…
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Have you ever wondered how yoga and meditation can help with healing from trauma? I'm so grateful to have my wife, Agatha, join me for this episode. Agatha spent six years studying yoga and meditation in India. She is a certified yoga and meditation instructor with thousands of hours of training and teaching. In this episode, we discuss: - How yoga…
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In the final part of our conversation, Lisa and I discussed how to connect with our emotions and understand what they are trying to tell us. As well as how to connect with our inner child for emotional healing. When was the last time you truly listened to what your anxiety or depression was trying to tell you? As I sit down with my therapist, Lisa,…
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Curiosity can completely change the energy on how we approach our healing process. Come join Lisa and I as we discuss how curiosity can be a key factor in opening our hearts and helping us heal. This is part two of a conversation with my therapist about trauma, shame, and healing. In this episode, we discuss: - When Lisa and I first connected - Add…
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When I first connected with my therapist, Lisa, I had no idea just how transformative her unique approach to trauma would prove to be for me. This episode marks the beginning of a series where Lisa and I have conversations about trauma, shame, and healing! Lisa and I discuss the disconnection from self and the survival instincts that often come fro…
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Do you feel like you are constantly apologizing? Do you say you're sorry for saying you're sorry? Does always feeling like you need to apologize cause you to feel bad about yourself, and do you wish you could break the pattern? Maybe you are an auto apologizer? Someone who says they are sorry automatically, almost as a reflex for anything and to ev…
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Learning to have fun is a big part of the healing process. ESPECIALLY when nothing feels, sounds, or seems fun! In this episode, we take a look at the following: The reasons we don't allow ourselves to have fun, such as: We are taking our healing so seriously that we simply forget to have fun. We don’t feel like we have earned it or deserve it yet.…
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The inner critic is that part of us that seems to never give us a break. It’s the constant toxic negative self-talk that we engage with, and it has a significant impact on our nervous systems. It contributes to anxiety, depression, social anxiety, and several other mental, emotional, and physical challenges. It can be a key manifestation of trauma,…
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Do you feel like you have a block to love? No matter how hard you try, do you keep resisting the love of others and your own love? It's a painful place to be, but fortunately, we can heal and open our hearts to love fully and to be loved. In this episode, we discuss the signs of resistance, its origins, and how the power of self-love can open us up…
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"I am not who you think I am, I am not who I think I am, I am who I think you think I am." - Charles Horton Cooley Ever feel like you're living your life according to someone else's script? Always trying to win others' approval or getting them to accept you? Ever find yourself losing sleep over the opinions of others and what you think they think o…
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Rumi — 'Recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning.' I remember the day I read that quote. It somehow struck me to the core and awakened something in me. I realized at that moment that while all my efforts of learning about trauma, shame, addictions, and the healing process were beautiful, I needed to focus just as much, if not more,…
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What comes to mind when you hear the words self-love? Do images of people acting arrogant or prideful pop up in your mind? Do you have fears that if you practice self-love, others will judge and label you? Have you defined self-love in such a way that you feel like you will never be worthy of it? The meaning and the stories that we have about what …
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We have all heard the research about the benefits of gratitude. We have been encouraged to keep our chins up, be grateful for what we have, and keep a gratitude journal to remind us of how blessed we are. But what happens when you can't see to find it in you to practice gratitude? What happens when the trauma you experienced puts you in survival mo…
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In this first episode of several episodes to come on the lessons that I learned while living nomadically, I share my experience and struggles with practicing solitude. Solitude is something we often avoid, but it can be the very thing we need to truly understand ourselves and what we need to heal. Solitude can be uncomfortable, and that is okay; in…
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Have you ever wondered if you can stay in a relationship with an unhealthy person when you are trying to heal? Do you have to leave in order to heal? Can you stay with someone you love who isn’t doing their work to get healthy, and you are? In this episode, we examine these questions and more. Join me in this episode as we discuss the following: Wh…
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As a trauma survivor, I had no idea how much my experiences were impacting my ability to have self-esteem. One of the messages that trauma can send us is that there is something wrong with us. This message can significantly impact our ability to have and build self-esteem. In this episode, we take a look at the following: Understanding what self-es…
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What if the power to love yourself was hiding within you all along? What if you never needed a reason to love yourself? In this episode, we dive deep into the following practical steps that we can take to begin loving ourselves: Becoming empowered to give ourselves permission to love ourselves. We'll discuss how to voice your resistance to your own…
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One of the most painful things we can experience is a broken relationship with ourselves. Our relationship with ourselves often becomes broken by trauma and other painful life experiences. When that relationship is broken, we become separated from love and, most painfully, our own love. Learning to love ourselves is a process. The first part of the…
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Are you trapped in the vicious cycle of self-criticism and anxiety? Do you often find yourself caught in the relentless grip of negative self-talk? Together, we'll shed light on how relentless self-criticism keeps us embroiled in a persistent state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawning and, subsequently, continuous anxiety. Recognize how this destru…
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If you struggle with anxiety, it can be at the very least disruptive, if not debilitating, in your life. If you have tried various methods to get control of your anxiety and nothing seems to have helped, then you might want to try the practice of meditation to help you on your journey. In this episode, we take a look at how meditation can help us w…
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When we understand that anxiety is not our enemy but it is coming from a part of us that is trying to get our attention, we can start to learn from it and heal. In this episode, we take a practical look at why it is so important to befriend anxiety and five tips for making this happen. 0:00 Introduction 1:08 My Story of Anxiety 4:23 Why Befriend An…
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For many of us, the practice of self-compassion can be a real struggle. We often don't know where to begin or know what self-compassion looks or feels like. In this episode, we discuss: What is self-compassion? What is the Self? What is compassion? Connecting with our authentic self Suspending judgment toward ourselves Suffering with the parts of u…
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Acceptance is a powerful gateway to healing and change. And accepting ourselves is the first step towards that meaningful change. What if acceptance wasn't about agreeing with or approving of past events, but rather embracing the reality of what is? In this episode we delve deep into the final 'A' of our 5-part healing journey series: Acceptance. A…
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Am I stuck, or am I actually healing? How do we know if we are healing? How do we avoid some of the pitfalls that cause us to judge ourselves for not healing in "the right way?" Is there a right way to heal? What tangible things can I use to see if I am healing? In this episode, we discuss these questions and others about assessing if we are healin…
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We can get so distracted by unwanted behaviors in our lives that we never get around to asking ourselves why that behavior is in our lives. Why do we self-sabotage? Why do we choose unhealthy relationships? Why do we drink? Why do we binge eat? Why do we treat ourselves with such self-hatred and self-loathing? In this episode, we walk through a ser…
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The healing journey is about the traveler on the path. As we begin to address the root issues of our pain, it is important to understand what the traveler needs for the journey. The healing journey is a complex dance between strength and gentleness. We often push ourselves too hard, ignoring our need for rest, kindness, and compassion. In this epis…
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What happens when we know we need to heal, but we can't seem to find the strength to take the first step? Taking action is a vital part of the healing journey. The challenge is when we feel so exhausted from the pain we have experienced that taking action seems almost impossible. In this episode, we discuss the following: My story of waking up and …
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The first step in healing is to awaken to the fact that we need to heal. We often go through life ignoring our pain, medicating it, and coping with it. When we awaken to the fact that we have deep pain and wounds that need to heal and see that we are worthy of healing, everything begins to change. In this first episode of The Healing Journey series…
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Do you feel like you are missing out on your life because the present moment doesn't feel safe? Are you constantly distracting yourself from the present moment as a coping mechanism? Life is happening now, but to be present and enjoy our lives we have to feel safe in the present moment. For decades I felt like I missed out on my life. The present m…
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Do you often find yourself saying 'yes' when you really want to say 'no'? Do you feel like you often abandon yourself out of fear of disappointing others? Is your desire to make others happy blocking you from finding happiness within yourself? This episode is not just about uncovering the roots of unhealthy people-pleasing habits but also about pro…
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Self-Love isn't selfish. We have heard that phrase for a long time. It has almost become a mantra in the self-help and self-love community. However, for many of us, we still feel guilty and/or selfish when we practice self-love. So how do we address what is behind the feelings of guilt and selfishness in living out a life where we fully love and ac…
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Ever felt like a complete fraud, just waiting to be found out, regardless of evidence to suggest you shouldn't feel that way? It's a feeling far more common than you might think, and it's called imposter syndrome. In this episode, we're dissecting every corner of imposter syndrome - its roots, how trauma influences it, and even the interesting ways…
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If you are a trauma survivor who has struggled with telling the truth, you might be surprised to learn that this can be a common struggle for trauma survivors. For many of us who experienced trauma, lying became a part of our daily lives. We used lying as a way to stay safe, protect others, and avoid shame. Just because we have gotten older doesn't…
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