BYHM118 | Discover Her Secret to 30 Years of Marriage And The 3 Major Lessons Learned

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In this episode, I share Sarah’s story of her marriage to her husband John. Names have been changed for confidentiality purposes.
Sarah and John have been married for over 30 years.
Sarah will be sharing the lessons she learned and the epiphany she had along the way as she became the best student of her husband. She called it being in "John's University."
Sarah opens up about how she used to react to her husband’s needs, the mistakes she made along the way, and the valuable lessons God taught her about love, respect, and grace.

Key Points Discussed:

1. The Hyper-Defensive Response
   Sarah admits that early in her marriage, she often got defensive when her husband John tried to communicate his needs. She realized how many women do this, even when they’re asking for better communication. This creates a cycle where both sides feel unheard.
2. Personal Story – Struggling with Misunderstanding
   Raised in a strict Christian home, Sarah didn’t fully understand the emotional and physical differences between men and women. She shares how her judgmental attitude toward her husband’s desires led to miscommunication and unnecessary conflict.
3. A Shift in Perspective – God’s Wisdom in Marriage
   After years of trying seminars and counseling sessions, Sarah found her breakthrough in the Bible. She learned that understanding her husband required grace, humility, and learning to speak his "emotional language."
4. Society’s Influence on Gender Roles in Marriage
   Sarah reflects on how society pushes women into leadership roles while also expecting men to lead. This paradox often leaves men unsure of their place, especially in marriage, where they are expected to be both strong and emotionally vulnerable.
5. Embracing Differences in Marriage
   After 30 years, Sarah is still learning what makes her husband tick. She encourages wives to become "students" of their husbands, understanding that their differences are not a problem but an opportunity for growth.

Big Takeaways:

• Listen First, Respond Later: Many wives, like Sarah, may have a tendency to jump to conclusions when their husbands try to communicate. Understanding comes when we listen without defensiveness.
• Seek God’s Guidance: Sarah found that true transformation in her marriage didn’t come from seminars but from seeking God’s wisdom through prayer and the Bible.
• Embrace the Differences: Men and women are wired differently, and that’s okay. Instead of viewing those differences as obstacles, see them as part of God’s design.

Bible Verses Mentioned:

• Ephesians 5:33 – "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
• 1 Peter 3:7 – "Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect."

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