Cooking up Connection: Holiday Meal Strategies for a Happier Family with Bri DeRosa

Helping Families Be Happy

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, talks to Bri DeRosa about books, particularly what to do for holiday meals and those recipes that we want to make and how to have that be a wonderful experience.

DeRosa is a freelance writer and communications consultant with expertise in creative and dramatic writing, arts education, and service learning. Bri has over a decade of experience in program development for non-profits and small businesses and has been the content manager at the Family Dinner Project since 2014. Additionally, Bri has contributed to three cookbooks and actively engages in family dinner practices with her husband and two teenage sons.

Episode Highlights:

• 02:02 DeRosa explains that the Family Dinner Project is a non-profit program under Massachusetts General Hospital Psychiatry, highlighting the benefits of family meals and noting the gap between potential benefits and actual family meal practices.
• 03:07 As the holidays approach, Christopher discusses the stress associated with traditional family gatherings and queries about alternatives to meeting at a grandparent's house.
• 05:37 DeRosa points out that research suggests the quality of interaction at family meals is more important than frequency and shares tips on how to make holiday gatherings more meaningful and stress-free.
• 06:58 DeRosa encourages sharing the stories behind traditional dishes to create a richer family experience and suggests activities like a family photo caption contest and storytelling prompts to engage everyone and make the holiday special.
• 07:51 Christopher introduces the concept of an heirloom dinner, encouraging the exploration of family stories and histories related to traditional foods. He also introduces the topic of handling difficult conversations at dinner, such as politics or religion, that can create division.
• 09:08 DeRosa continues to offer creative ideas for family engagement, like drawing family trees on paper tablecloths and playing trivia games to learn about each other in a fun setting.
• 10:52 DeRosa mentions the idea of a 'politics jar' where individuals can contribute a quarter each time they mention a hot-button topic, encouraging redirection to other conversations.
• 11:27 DeRosa provides solutions for surprise tensions at the dinner table, such as taking breaks, focusing on gratitude, and steering conversations towards positive subjects. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining boundaries and redirecting negative discussions.
• 13:28 DeRosa advises coordinating with hosts to create a quiet, safe space for neurodivergent children and to establish clear expectations for both the child and other family members regarding food and seating arrangements.
• 15:10 Setting expectations with the neurodivergent child is also stressed, says DeRosa. She suggests bringing familiar foods for the neurodivergent child to avoid pressure and make them feel at ease during meals.
• 15:57 Christopher talks about the challenges of having children with soy allergies and the importance of being aware of dietary restrictions during family gatherings.
• 16:22 DeRosa shares that she may host a varying number of guests and talks about the family tradition of making a New York-style crumb cake and stuffing with a special ingredient from her mother and grandmother.
• 17:53 Christopher describes his Thanksgiving routine of brining a turkey and making garlic raspberry mashed potatoes with parmesan, a fresh garden salad with avocados and blue cheese, and fresh rolls with homemade jam.
• 18:55 DeRosa discusses her Thanksgiving menu, noting adaptations for a neurodivergent family member, like garlic mashed potatoes without Parmesan and a kale salad with dates and pumpkin seeds.

Key Points:

1. DeRosa underlines the value of family meals for various aspects of well-being and identifies the disconnect between the potential benefits and the reality of family dining habits.
2. Strategies for inclusive and stress-free holiday gatherings are discussed, including managing sensitive topics and enhancing the experience through storytelling and family history exploration.
3. Practical advice is offered on how to accommodate neurodivergent family members at gatherings, such as setting clear expectations, providing safe spaces, and respecting dietary restrictions.

Tweetable quotes:

• "Bridging the gap between the benefits of family meals and actual practices is key for healthier, happier families." - DeRosa
• "Holiday meals are about stories, not just recipes. Share the history behind the dishes to enrich your family experience." - DeRosa
• "For neurodivergent family members, comfort during meals comes from clear expectations and familiar foods." - DeRosa
• "Garlic mashed potatoes and a fresh garden salad with avocados and blue cheese - holiday cooking is as much about tradition as it is about taste." - Christopher

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families Be Happy Podcast Apple
• https://thefamilydinnerproject.org/
• Podcast Editing