Growing Up Happy: Navigating Children’s Emotional Health with Hillary Waller

Helping Families Be Happy

On today's episode of the "Helping Families Be Happy" podcast, host Christopher Robbins, co-founder of Familius Publishing, husband, father of nine, author, fisherman, backpacker, and aspirational musician based in the Central Valley of California, is going to talk to Hillary Waller, Director of Education and Programming and a psychotherapist at the Postpartum Stress Center. She offers individual and group therapy services, manages training and education programs, and leads educational in-services at the center.

Episode Highlights

• 01:21: Hillary Waller's interest in parent-child relationships led her to pursue a Master's degree in counseling psychology with a specialization in marriage and family therapy. She now conducts specialized training sessions for organizations seeking expertise in the treatment of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.
• 02:07: Christopher and Hillary’s discussion topic revolves around the increasing prevalence of anxiety and depression among today's children, which is described as almost reaching epidemic proportions.
• 03:55: Hillary encourages parents to reach out to therapists and professionals who can offer insights into what is normal behavior and what may be a cause for concern. She suggests that when a parent's instinct tells them something isn't right, that should be considered a red flag, prompting them to seek help and guidance from qualified professionals.
• 05:00: Being closely connected with their child allows parents to recognize when something deviates from the norm and may require further attention or investigation.
• 05:27: Christopher emphasizes the importance of being present with our children and getting to know them well enough to recognize when something is an outlier or deviates from their usual behavior.
• 06:30: Hillary acknowledges the developmental stage of teenagers, who simultaneously desire their parents' involvement and support while also seeking independence and privacy. She emphasizes the need to strike a balance between respecting their independence and understanding when to intervene when necessary.
• 08:11: Christopher shares a personal experience of seeking therapy with their young son and realizing that therapy was not just for the child but also for the parents. They then ask if using phrases like "well-being" might be more appropriate than saying "mental health."
• 10:25: Hillary highlights the significance of parents learning self-regulation strategies so they can effectively communicate with their children about their feelings. By providing children with language to express their emotions, parents help them develop emotional intelligence.
• 13:19: Hillary suggests that if a parent already has their own therapist, they can initiate a conversation about their child's mental health with them.
• 14:30: In response to the host's question about common denominators or triggers for children's mental health issues, Hillary Waller acknowledges that it's a complex question because there are numerous factors that contribute to children experiencing anxiety and depression.
• 16:32: Hillary Waller emphasizes the importance of physical presence and eye contact when sitting with children and teenagers to discuss their feelings and challenges. She mentions that when people are overwhelmed and stressed, their bodies often feel tense, which is closely related to anxiety.
• 17:20: Being present and making eye contact with your child, regardless of their age, can have a positive and calming effect.
• 18:21: The love parents have for their child is the most important and powerful tool they have in helping their child through difficult times.

3 Key Points

1. Christopher and Hillary discuss the issue of the stigma associated with mental illness, anxiety, and depression. They acknowledge that there might be generational factors or societal influences contributing to this stigma.
2. Hillary suggests that using the terminology of "emotional health" can be less stigmatized than "mental health." She encourages open conversations about feelings and emotional well-being from a very young age, regardless of the child's age, to create a more accepting and supportive environment for discussing these issues.
3. Hillary Waller suggests that using books can be a great way to initiate conversations about mental well-being with children.

Tweetable Quotes

• “Parents particularly new mothers, should trust their instincts and learn how to find answers about their children's well-being.” - Hillary Waller
• “While there is a wealth of content available, it's important to limit the number of resources to avoid feeling overwhelmed.” - Hillary Waller
• “Life can be challenging, and it's essential to help children and teens learn how to navigate and work through these challenges.” - Hillary Waller

Resources Mentioned

• Helping Families be Happy Podcast Apple
• postpartumstress.com
• Podcast Editing