Francesca Rudkin: Bring on the hugs and humour

The Sunday Session with Francesca Rudkin

So the game might not have gone their way this morning, but how gorgeous were the Black Ferns this week?

Once again being themselves, on the world stage. I’m sure you saw the video or photos of the Black Ferns women’s rugby team and King Charles III after Ayesha Leti-I’ga asked if she could give the King a hug. After the King gave his consent to this serious breach of protocol - the whole team got in on the act. It was a hug bomb, a scrum, and it elicited joyous smiles from all involved.

Especially the King. Who is looking more and more like his mother every day.

Since then, there’s been numerous articles about the power of a hug. We know hugs reduce stress, they relieve pain, they make us happy, they build bonds, and resilience. Basically hugs are good and we need to be doing more of them.

So thanks to the Black Ferns for making us want to hug it out. But we owe them another thanks - and that’s for their beautiful ability to remind us what it is to be Kiwis. I’ve always thought us to be a cheeky, positive, self-motivated, open lot with a self-deprecating sense of humour. In fact, humour is part of our DNA - especially during difficult times.

When writing about defining our sense of humour, our finest satirist John Clarke would tell the story of the New Zealand division who during the second World War won the battle for the city of Trieste in northern Italy, against a retreating German Army.

The Americans arrived after the battle had finished and the fighting had been done by the New Zealanders. Once the city was secured, the US Army decided a victory parade was in order – to be led by the US Marines. The Americans were running the Italian campaign after all.

So the parade went ahead, and out in front came the US Marines with a large banner bearing their emblem and the words 'US Marines. Second to None'. Behind them marched the New Zealanders carrying a large sheet upon which was written the word 'None'.

That’s ‘Kiwi’ right there. But we seem to have misplaced that ‘Kiwi’ sense of humour and joy recently. I’m not saying times aren’t tough for some. I’m not saying there aren’t things for us all to be worried about. But I am saying that you can’t wait for nothing to be wrong to decide to be happy, or at least to lighten up a bit.

It’s time to stop letting people get under our skin. Social media is masterful as this. So are politicians. They aim to agitate us as a way to motivate us. Maybe we should take a leaf out of Kamala Harris’s playbook and just raise an eyebrow, smile and laugh when people start poking at us.

New Zealand is facing real challenges. We all know this. Positivity, solutions, disagreeing agreeably, and a sense of humour is what will make meeting those challengers bearable. That, and maybe a hug.

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