Support for siblings

Voices of Baby Loss

This episode shares stories from bereaved parents and siblings and handles the subject of baby loss, bereavement and grief.

This week Jen and Caroline discuss how best to support siblings after loss. They discuss tools to help you have conversations with siblings who were expecting to have a brother or sister as well as for siblings that arrive after loss.

The first guest in this episode is Emma Poore. After losing her daughter Lydie, Emma faced the reality of breaking this heart-wrenching news to her nearly four year old son George and then later to her youngest son Henry. Whilst looking for support for her children she found herself writing “Where are you Lydie?”, a special picture book for children aged between three and seven years old. It is a facilitative story and guide for young bereaved siblings and their parents to explore death and bereavement together and to start difficult conversations or explore the questions that may come up after the death of a baby.

Jen and Caroline also speak to Nihal who is 16 years old and the middle child and only living child of Madhuri and Sunil. Nihal was born in February 2006, three years after his older brother Vishaal passed away, a day into his precious life. Nihal was then only two years old when his parents had to explain to him that the sister he was looking forward to welcoming into the world had instead joined his older brother in Heaven. Despite not having met Vishaal and Rehna, Nihal loves them and holds them very close to his heart. He has never shied away from speaking about them nor the love he holds for them, or sadly, the precious moments and memories he has missed out on and will continue to miss out on throughout his years.  

Jen and Caroline's final guest is Christopher, who grew up in a family of five but he always knew it was a family of six as his eldest brother Jason died before Christopher was born. Christopher is now the Scotland Network Coordinator for Sands and is married with his own children. He talks about how his feelings towards his brother have changed over the years and how the birth of his daughter made the loss of his brother more real.

Useful links

To get support on helping siblings come to terms with the death of a child and to download free workbooks and memory making kits visit: https://www.sands.org.uk/support-you/how-we-offer-support/support-siblings

To find out more about the children's book 'Where are you Lydie' visit: https://www.emmapoore.co.uk/where-are-you-lydie

The 'In the Stars' animation can be viewed on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7C_UVewPU8

A copy of the book can be purchased on https://shop.sands.org.uk/en/products/books/in-the-stars

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Sands is here to support anyone affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby, whenever and however they need it. You can get support from thesupport pages of our website , by joining our online community or by joining our facebook support group or facebook support group for Dads

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Sands saves babies’ lives and supports bereaved families. To learn more about Sands, visit our website or find us on facebook , Instagram and Twitter

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Voices of Baby Loss is produced by Under The Mast , creative audio productions