006: Grief: It's Not Just for the Dead Anymore!

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

In this latest episode of our podcast, we tackle the unique and often misunderstood grief experienced by children of narcissistic parents. We've all been there—grieving someone who's still alive. We dive into how grieving can be a complex and prolonged process, sharing personal stories and insights that many will find all too familiar. From the subtle ways we've had to make ourselves small to the armor we've built to protect our hearts, we unpack the emotional baggage that comes with a narcissistic upbringing.

We also take a look at unique types of grief experienced by children of narcissistic parents. We explore four different types of grief, with a special focus on complicated, atypical grief, and discuss why narcissists might feel regret but rarely change their behavior.

As always, we offer practical tools that have helped us, including tips to expand self-love, and remind you of the importance of community in these experiences. Whether it's through listening to our podcast or treating yourself to some well-deserved flowers, know that you are not alone, and you are definitely not selfish for prioritizing your well-being.

We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at [e-mail]!

What We Cover In This Episode:

• How Elizabeth came to realize they had been grieving their mother their whole life, even when she was alive [4:19]

• The way that Megan felt when her mother passed a few years ago and why it may not have been typical of the “normal” way others grieve [5:44]

• A breakdown of four different types of grief and a closer look at the main one we talk about today, complicated grief [6:59]

• How narcissists can feel regret, but it doesn’t translate into action or a change in behavior [12:38]

• The stages Megan has gone through to learn what it’s like to give and receive love [16:54]

• One of the main reasons why people with trauma find and gravitate towards each other [20:32]

• The way in which we often cut off parts of ourselves and are made to be small when raised by a narcissist, and the “armor” Elizabeth had to put on to protect themselves growing up [24:04]

• Elizabeth’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and a special moment in their life where a narcissist try to make it all about herself [36:18]

• Megan’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and a narcissistic act that her mother did upon passing [41:19]

• More tools that have helped us, including one that will help you expand the love you have for yourself [49:03]

• A reminder of how you can contribute and be a part of the experience here on the podcast [55:03]

Links & Resources:

Stages of Grief

Mettā meditation