Episode 281: Full Lizard feat. Jonathan the Tortoise

Slam City

Gemini, Burrito, Brian, and Arthur drop some conversation and chuckles about massage therapy, rifle cleaning, hirsutism, ill-equipped restrooms, escaping a time loop, Ketchup Karen, Jonathan the Tortoise, funny T-shirt ideas, train rides, more odd news, and The Three Rules.

Double X Quantimino

Massage therapy from dudes

How to clean your rifle

Hairy limbs

Hypothetical Meta Analysis - An ill-equipped public restroom

Stuck in a time loop, 3.2 seconds, Palm Springs

Your face is like a fingerprint, and Lensa AI is nefarious.

Window seat or aisle?

This Is The Newz

'Didn’t she ask for extra ketchup? Why is she mad?': McDonald's 'Ketchup Karen' throws fit over amount of ketchup on her burger

Poker player with 'boobs out' promises to 'nip that behavior in the bud'

Pig hogs bed in Georgia woman's home: 'She steals my pillow'

Wordle is 2022’s top Google search term, above both Ukraine and the queen

Home Depot workers track down owner of dropped $700 cash

Jonathan the tortoise, oldest living land creature, celebrates 190th birthday

Book returned to Australian school library was nearly 120 years overdue

I’m so pretty, men treat me like a trophy and women scowl at me

Hooters influencer Ali Spice dead at 21 in car crash

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Cases of people getting unwanted crabs skyrocketing in Japan, salmon too

Japan’s random-destination roll-the-die train tickets: An amazingly cheap way to go… somewhere

Over half a million yen in cash comes floating down river in Toyama

The Three Rules

Rule #1: Overcomplicate Things.

Rule #2: Go Fvck Myself.

Rule #3: n + 1

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