Coitus With a Waffle with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

As the morning sunshine warms my bare bottom and my feet feel the cool chill of the kitchen tile, I reach into the freezer. A blast of cold air greets me, turning my nipples so hard I could dial an iPhone. As a shiver pleasantly travels south from my torso to my abdomen to the very tip of my sheathed sword, I saunter to the counter where I insert a blueberry-kissed waffle into the tight, dark, chrome-covered hole of my toaster. A gentle cloud of warmth emanates from the glowing steel rods within, bringing with it an intoxicating aroma of fruit, sugar, and hot, fluffy passion. The shiny appliance transforms into a giver of joy as the Eggo waffle pops up from the darkness, steam rising slowly and beckoning me to grab it and caress it and swallow it whole. I temper my passion for a moment, if only to find the fortitude to instead gently place it on a plate, covering it in slick, wet butter and gooey, sticky-sweet maple syrup. As the cushiony indentations of unadulterated bliss finally touch my lips, I let out a moan from deep within my very soul, announcing to the world that it's 7am on a Tuesday and yes, Deborah...I am 100% going to f**k this waffle.

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Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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