94. Girl, Please: Say No to People-Pleasing

A Jaded Gay

The fine line between genuine kindness and people-pleasing can pose a challenge, as the latter may lead to sacrificing one's own needs, compromising authenticity, and fostering unhealthy dependencies in relationships. But gay men, in particular, tend to be influenced by societal expectations and the desire to counter stereotypes, resulting in a higher likelihood to engage in excessive people-pleasing behaviors as they navigate social dynamics and seek acceptance.
In this episode, we’re diving into the nuanced correlation between the childhood fear of rejection from growing up gay and the emergence of people-pleasing behaviors in adulthood among gay men while discussing strategies to cultivate self-compassion, set clear boundaries, and prioritize individual needs for a more authentic and personal empowered life as gay men.
Related Episodes:

• Listen to Episode 13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your Perfectionism
• Listen to Episode 34. GBF: Gay Best Friend
• Listen to Episode 85. Boundaries: How to Understand and Set Them

Additional Resources:

• People Pleaser (Merriam-Webster)
• What Is People-Pleasing?
• People-Pleasing
• People Pleaser: What It Means and How to Stop
• How to Stop People-Pleasing
• What is a People Pleaser?
• How to Stop People-Pleasing (and Still Be Nice)
• How Does Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Show Up for Gay Men?
• Gay People Have Been Taught to Be People-Pleasing Push-Overs

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Chapter

1. Snarky Opener (00:00:00)

2. Episode Introduction (00:00:32)

3. People Pleasing (00:01:23)

4. Tarot (00:02:05)

5. What is People Pleasing? (00:03:03)

6. What Causes People Pleasing? (00:04:14)

7. Common Traits of People Pleasing (00:06:16)

8. Over-Apologizing (00:07:20)

9. Conflict Avoidance (00:08:17)

10. Effects on Mental Health (00:09:08)

11. Fawning (00:10:08)

12. Stop People Pleasing (00:12:10)

13. Episode Closing (00:15:03)

14. Connect with A Jaded Gay (00:16:48)

15. Outtake (00:18:52)