#81 - For Parents and Families (III): On the Work of Relational Healing

A Way Beyond the Rainbow

This is part III of a 4-episode series dedicated to parents and family members of individuals experiencing gender nonconformity, same-sex attractions (SSA) and/or gender dysphoria (GD).
In this episode, Aadam and I discuss practical tips and advice for parents and families of individuals experiencing SSA and GD, and we tackle proper communication skills and conflict resolution techniques. To what extent are time, touch and talk important in the lives of children, adolescents and young adults, and how can I offer that? How and why should the same-sex parent become more invested and the opposite-sex parent take two steps back? If my son is rejecting me, how can I, as a father, rebuild my relationship with him? Why are hands-on activities, sports and physical roughhousing necessary in the lives of boys and men, and how can we invite them to participate in these activities? How do we know if what we're doing is right and the level of intervention is appropriate? If I am a single mom or a single dad, how can I best guarantee the proper gender development of my opposite-sex child? How can I improve my communication skills with my child, resolve conflicts with them and learn more about their love language? These and other relevant questions are explored in this episode.
References used in this episode:
- Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Family Healing by Richard Cohen
- A Parent's Guide To Preventing Homosexuality by Joseph Nicolosi and Linda Ames Nicolosi
Other references mentioned in the episode:
- Scene from the movie, Good Will Hunting
- The Five Love Languages book by Dr. Gary Chapman
- The Five Love Languages Quiz
- "Knowing Your Child's Love Language" - summary document

Chapter

1. #81 - For Parents and Families (III): On the Work of Relational Healing (00:00:00)

2. Episode Introduction (00:00:38)

3. General Tips for Parents (00:03:46)

4. Same-Sex Parent: Physical Affection (00:13:15)

5. Opposite-Sex Parent: Take Two Steps Back (00:21:43)

6. For Fathers of Boys and Men Experiencing SSA or GD (00:27:02)

7. On Involving Siblings and Other Family Members (00:46:27)

8. On Involving Teachers and Educators (00:52:46)

9. On Same-Sex Peers and Friends (00:54:15)

10. On Maintaining the Parental Team (00:57:59)

11. “How do we know if what we're doing is right and the level of intervention is appropriate?” (01:02:55)

12. On Single Parents (01:07:34)

13. On Reflective Listening and Becoming an Effective Communicator (01:14:03)

14. On Bonding and Boundaries in Communication (01:34:31)

15. On Affirmations and Positive Messages (01:43:38)

16. On Your Child's Love Language (01:45:57)

17. Ending Remarks (01:47:41)