05. Gendered Lives: Privilege, Parenting, and Identity with Erica Courdae

Camp Wild Heart

There are so many things about our lives that are gendered.

And some of those things are a lot more important and hold more cultural significance than we realize–that is until we have kid who comes out as trans, and then all of that privilege you had and all the mental energy you didn’t have to spend on thinking about all the ways in which the world wasn’t set up for your transgender kid is gone.

Now, I should be clear, when I say “we” I’m talking about cisgender, heterosexual, white people. People of color, which I am not, have a lot more awareness about the ways in which the white Western world was not built or designed for them.

One of the most common conversations I have with white parents of trans kids, usually pretty early on and always because they bring it up, is about their awareness of exactly how much privilege they have, and also how much it sucks to lose it.

Today we’re talking with Erica Courdae about culture, hair, privilege, gender and race.

Erica is the host of the podcast Pause on the Play® and has built an exceptional community of listeners who are showing up and exploring ways to make their values more explicit at work and at home. She has curated connections and learning experiences that will help anyone challenge harmful norms, show up as an imperfect ally®, and live in alignment.

Check out the full episode to hear about:

• How Erica’s experience in the beauty industry informs how she helps people investigate cultural norms and show up as themselves
• How having a trans child exposes the fragility of the norms and assumptions parents hold
• Why it’s so critical for parents to do their own self-work of acceptance and questioning apart from their kids
• Why parents need to be able to admit they were wrong and apologize to their children
• Why neutrality is not an option

Find out more about Erica Courdae:

• Pause on the Play®
• The Pause on the Play® Community
• Instagram: @pauseontheplay

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

• Wildheartsociety.org
• wildheartsociety.org/downloads
• Wild Heart Society on Facebook
• Wild Heart Society on Instagram