Episode 121: Asking the Right Questions to Determine your Purpose and Achieve True Happiness (w/ Chris O'Connell)
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Be the Best Leader by Following Your Purpose
Today on the show we have Chris O'Connell, Chris's dad to three boys. He's a business and well-being coach for CEOs. He himself has built multiple companies reaching eight figures, and he's also the host of a great podcast called “The Purpose-Led Leadership Podcast”.
Here's the podcast where we talk about finding purpose. We talk about what Chris finds is the most challenging thing with these coaches and the most uplifting thing that happens when people actually carry out, what they need to carry out.
We talk about what's the most important things in life in order to grow a successful business, and a lot more so, welcome to another great episode!
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Timestamps & Gold Gems:
Topic : How it all started (1:47- 4:53)
[3:00 - 3:21] Chris O'Connell :
“So why I lost was a combination of probably having too much too soon, not realizing what's important, not realizing what my purpose was, but probably, just taking things for granted a little bit actually, I think, it was a very very dark time for me in many aspects”
[4:25 - 4:53] Chris O'Connell :
“ I started to look at myself and talk to myself in a way that was a bit more loving because being abandoned by your mother, being abused by your stepmom, kind of like, it kind of makes you feel worthless, right? And I never thought I was worthy of anything, so I just wrote down some of my achievements and just thought to myself how in a second I've got a lot to live for. I'm a good guy and it was just that time where I just decided to be the CEO of my life, not CEO of my business”
[5:56 - 6:22] Chris O'Connell :
“I think many people in this world live day to day, month to month, week, week. They don't understand why they're doing it. They're going for the motions. So for me, it's about understanding what your purpose is. I've got my own podcast called the Purpose-Led Leadership Podcast, I talk about when you haven't got a purpose, you haven't got an anchor, you haven't got something to go for. And I think, that's the fundamental course of success, in my opinion”
[7:03 - 7:45] Chris O'Connell :
“External factors, people, partners, business partners, colleagues, friends, family. But ultimately, I believe that even if the most unlucky heest things happens to you, To a degree, there's always an element of accountability for yourself. So I think it was that sort of realization that although I was responsible for lots of success in my life, in more than part, I was responsible for the failures as well.,So I think it was looking at that. Asking myself some tough questions and feeling and leaning into my feelings as well. So I think it's really important to be vulnerable, really important as leaders to be vulnerable. ”
[8:10- 8:30] Chris O'Connell: “There are six facets behind me and my business logo, business, and finance. Business, health and fitness, personal development, purpose, relationships, and finances, and I think that you have to do an audit of your life as to what I did. I did an audit of my friends. I did an audit of my family. If they weren't serving me, I distanced myself. “
[10:07- 10:31] Chris O'Connell:
“ I believe you can work smart. I believe if you are looking after yourself mentally, physically, and everything else outside of work, you don't have to spend as much time in work so you can execute better in work. It's a strange thing, but if you spend two hours, say a week, dedicated just for your kids, you turn the phone off to the laptop, that's all they ever need, then you feel happier. Then you'll actually, and that state of being is like what you are in your work, and it's just about execution and working smart. “
TOPIC: Routines and Emotional State Management [10:57- 14:14]
[10:57- 11:20] Chris O'Connell:
“ I think it also starts with how I start the day. So in my bedroom, I've got a whiteboard. I've got my values there: courage, discipline, empathy, kindness, and eight different values. So when I wake up, I’m absorbing that kind of stuff. There are some affirmations on there as well about self-control, and self-respect. What I'm trying to do is like, why am I brain into positivity? And I think that's really important as well. “
[11:26- 12:05] Sagi Shrieber:
“ The notion is as if we can control or elevate our emotional state as much as we can. During the day, especially when we start off the day, we're gonna have a better day and be more successful. And it's like most people get wrong, they actually start their day by checking their emails and that's so true. It's freaking Russian roulette. “
TOPIC: Inner Voice
[14:33- 14:47 Sagi Shrieber: “The voice in our head and how we talk to ourselves is basically pretty, already set when we were like five years old by our guardians. So basically how the grownups were talking to us, that's actually how we talk to ourselves and usually it's not good .”
[15:17 15:29] Chris O'Connell: “ I think everyone gets internal trust that everyone's got mental health about who we are, but sometimes the voices in our head, they're not actually ours. That sounds bizarre. They are indoctrinated or absorbed by your parents, your manager, what you are watching on the TV and all that kind of stuff. And it can be very difficult to deal with that. But I think it's about learning to manage that.
And actually, the only way to do that is to change your content. Block people change things. Talk to people that are gonna inspire you. Talk to people that are better than you in some areas and just have a growth mindset. Be curious. “
TOPIC: The Key
[17:01 - 17:41 ] Chris O'Connell:
“ It's really important that, yes, give yourself credit. Pat yourself on the back. You've gotta be realistic as well. And I think having people around you, also I think, small daily habits can have a big impact. So, you know, I've got this, we've all got big visions, but I think if you can break down some of your goals into business and personal. It might be over the next 12 weeks if I can listen to six podcasts or if I can go on 12 runs.”
“If you do that, do that consistently. It all builds up and I think, I think sometimes, we want these big things yesterday, and it just doesn't work like that. Also, it's about enjoying the passage of time, right? “
[33:14 - 33:29 ] Chris O'Connell:
“ Emotion, intelligence and vulnerability has a direct correlation with the productivity of your team. So if you can get under the skin of your team, understand what motivates them, what their purpose is, I guarantee they'll work harder and produce better for you.”
[55:17- 55:41 ] Chris O'Connell:
“ I think most people fall into the trap of, if I can build a great business or if I can earn this amount of money, if I can provide this amount of stuff for my kids, I'll be seen as a great dad. But actually, great dads are the ones that try their best to do that. They do spend that to be mindful, you know, of your relationships, how much time you're spending.”
Title: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Author: Ethan Kross
Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Chatter-Voice-Head-Matters-Harness/dp/0525575235
The Purpose-Led Leadership Podcast
Commit First is a Personal Development Podcast for Entrepreneurs and can be found on:
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