Before You Correct in Trauma Parenting

Foster Parent Well

What happens in that critical moment when your child's behavior pushes your buttons? That split second before you respond determines whether your correction will actually work or simply bounce off ineffectively.
Foster and adoptive parents know the struggle all too well—the same behaviors repeating despite countless corrections. But what if the key isn't what you say during correction, but what you've established beforehand?
Drawing from neuroscience and trauma-informed approaches, this episode reveals the four non-negotiable steps required before any effective correction: regulation, trust, connection, and instruction. I break down why your nervous system must calm before you can help regulate your child's, and how co-regulation creates the biological foundation for receptive listening.
You'll discover practical techniques like "Yes Jars" that build attachment cycles with resistant children, and understand why connection feels so difficult when a child pushes away (hint: it's your brain's reciprocity response protecting you from rejection). Most importantly, you'll learn why teaching expected behaviors during calm moments is essential—because correction without instruction is just punishment.
Whether you're struggling with a child who seems to resist every boundary or simply want to make your guidance more effective, these foundational principles will transform your approach to discipline. Your patience and consistency in these four areas creates the safety necessary for lasting behavioral change.
Ready to see correction that actually sticks? Start with just one of these principles this week and watch what happens. Share this episode with another foster or adoptive parent who needs this encouragement—because even when change isn't visible yet, your impact is real.

6 Week Challenge: https://stan.store/nicoletbarlow/p/6-week-coaching-group

Get my newsletter! https://nicoletbarlow.myflodesk.com/fosterparentwellnewsletter

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

Chapter

1. Introduction to Foster Parent Well (00:00:00)

2. Four Things to Do Before Correcting (00:02:04)

3. Regulating Yourself First (00:05:03)

4. Building Trust With Traumatized Children (00:09:00)

5. Connection: The Heart of Effective Parenting (00:15:07)

6. Teaching Expected Behavior Properly (00:18:59)

7. Recap and Closing Prayer (00:20:06)