Embracing the Awkward - Navigating FFT's with Courage

Leading You

When was the last time you did something for the first time? You probably felt awkward and uncomfortable and perhaps anxiety started creeping in about what people might think. What if you fail?

It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s something we all face.

Brené Brown calls these moments FFTs, which stands for "Fucking First Times" and I couldn’t think of a better way to put it. Today I’m sharing my recent FFT and how to face these moments with courage instead of shying away from doing something new.

After a long time of procrastination and excuses, I finally took the plunge and attended my first spin class at a new centre. Being at a fitness level that I’m not happy with, it felt like I was starting from the beginning and my mind was flooded with excuses not to go. I was nervous about not knowing anyone, about whether I could set up my bike properly and felt like everyone would be watching me with judging eyes.

But, I put my big girl pants on and kept reminding myself of all the things I coach my clients on: embrace discomfort, step outside of your comfort zone, and understand that growth happens there. For me, it was a spin class, and maybe for you, it’s going to the gym, a networking event, starting a new project or having a conversation.

Whatever FFT you’re facing, Brené says the best thing to do is to name the discomfort. Naming what’s causing you anxiety makes it real and approachable. Here are three steps she recommends, which I found incredibly helpful:

1. Normalise It: Understand that everyone experiences discomfort every time they do something new. It’s perfectly okay to feel awkward, nervous and anxious because brave people feel uncomfortable.
2. Put It into Perspective: Realise that the feeling is not permanent and doesn’t mean you’re bad at everything. You’re in the middle of an FFT around this ONE thing.
3. Reality Check Your Expectations: Understand that you won’t crush it right away. Acknowledge that it will suck for a while, but it will get better with time.

I also added a fourth step: Just Do It. Whether it’s booking a class, walking through a door, putting your hand up, or searching Google for tips on how to start your own podcast, taking that first step is crucial.

So did I crush my spin class like I was hoping to? No. My legs felt like lead and I was the last on the leaderboard. I had to remind myself: this was an FFT.

BUT, I did end up knowing someone in the class, which made me feel more comfortable and the instructor was incredibly welcoming and helped me settle in. After the class, I felt proud of myself for just showing up. That FFT was done and next time, it will be easier.

I believe we should all face FFTs more often because growth happens outside our comfort zones. Whether it's writing a book, applying for a new job or attending a networking event, these first times pave the way for growth and confidence.

So, if you’ve been putting off something that feels awkward or completely outside your comfort zone, I hope my recent experience gives you the courage to take that first step. You have a choice to do it or not, to chicken out or do the hard thing, to avoid it or to be proud of yourself. It’s as simple as that.

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