Episode 31 - Part 3 : Life - surviving and struggling to survive

Letters to my kids: A suicide survivor's lessons and advice for life

Episode 31 - Part 3 : Life - surviving and struggling to survive

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. Cohen From the Free Music Archive Released under a Creative Commons Attribution International License

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201408/why-do-some-people-survive-and-others-struggle

- All you have to do is develop the right strategies.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Overcoming your struggles is an up and down battle. Lots of ups and downs, in fact.

But you need both the peaks and the valleys in order to keep moving forward. The ups remind you of where you want to go and the downs push you to get there.

“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.” – Henry Ford

- Give Yourself Time Although the whole purpose of this guide is to help you get over whatever obstacles are placed in your way, one of the very first things you want to do is give yourself time to process what happened. How much time should you take?

- Don’t Panic

This is the same type of control you want to have when you’re faced with a setback. Yes, give yourself time to adjust, but don’t panic either as that’s not going to help the situation at all. In fact, it would likely hurt it more than anything because then you just might do something you regret.

“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.” – Earl Nightingale

- Make Peace with Your Failures

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”

More importantly, is that how you want to live the rest of your life? Not doing all of the things you’re fully capable of doing because you simply gave up?

- Cut Yourself Some Slack (But Don’t Let Go of the Rope). He basically cuts himself some slack, but still pushes forward so that, in the end, he winds up ahead.

- Regain Your Control Dr. Greg Winch, psychologist and author of The Squeaky Wheel, says that regaining as much control over your situation as possible is necessary as it can help you “…avoid feeling helpless and hopeless.” This means looking at what actions you can take to help you overcome whatever obstacle is in your way.

- Let Yourself Be Vulnerable Most people see vulnerability as weakness, but it’s actually the exact opposite. In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown says, “Rather than sitting on the sidelines…we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability.” Even though you might be tempted to “sit on the sidelines,” watching all of your “teammates” who are still on the field, this will keep you in that one spot….out of the game.Instead, let yourself be vulnerable by choosing to re-engage and take part again.

- Learn From Your Experience Our first option is simply to “conform to it”…to give in to the fear and insecurities where it stops us from progressing. The other option, is to “…humbly embrace failure as the great teacher and refining fire"

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison

- Take a “Five-Step Pause” In Get Out of Your Own Way, authors Mark Goulston and Phillip Goldberg share that an effective way to get your mind back on the right track after a setback involves taking “The Five-Step Pause,” an action plan designed to help you react consciously instead of impulsively, potentially doing something you’ll later regret.

5 Second Pause

- Increase your physical awareness. Pay attention to yourself physically, noticing any sensations (tenseness, fatigue, or pain) you may be experiencing in different areas of your body.

- Increase your emotional awareness. With each sensation, ask yourself which emotion is causing it. Is it fear? Anxiety? Frustration? - Increase your impulse awareness. Do these emotions compel you to want to do something…to take action? - Increase your consequence awareness. If you were to do that “something,” what are the short and long-term consequences? - Increase your solution awareness. What other solutions exist? Which one would be most advantageous? "Survival was my only hope, success my only revenge." -Patricia Cornwell