Having a Menty B

The Ten Thousand Things

We discuss mental breakdowns: the need we all have occasionally, the experience of it, and the benefits! Joe, Sam and Ali have had at least one menty b each, as many people now call them. An almost loving and affectionate term, which suggests that this process is something we could maybe greet like a friend. However, it can be very frightening, and isolating, and difficult for others.

We talk about the role of work pressures, unsustainable domestic roles, and the intensity of family life. 'Capitalism' gets a lot of the blame for mental breakdowns, from Ali and Sam at least. And we talk about how our ever-present childhood trauma may combine with recent experience and bring on a crisis.

The shame that comes from having a mental breakdown can cause people to deny or conceal their experience, or to never speak of it. People often go to extraordinary lengths to avoid breakdowns. We tend to recommend not doing that, however we are not doctors, so seek your own advice.

The benefits are many, and not just to the individual. A mental breakdown can signal problems that need addressing, by the person suffering directly, and by others around them. A proper breakdown will prompt the right adjustments much more effectively than a polite chat. It forces us to do what we need to do, which is often to rest, and give up all responsibilities completely, for some time, shorter or longer. By really pausing our lives, questioning all aspects of our existence, and what we think is important, we can build a new set of assumptions and priorities and begin again, changed.

We agreed that discussing breakdowns may be helpful to all. When people tell their stories, it highlights the pressures of life, and helps others to acknowledge their own pressures and breakdowns. It's a chance to share what has been learned.

People can gain valuable insights in the experience of our 'self' being deconstructed involuntarily, and through the task of building up the self again. We could think of it as dramatizing a process that occurs quietly, on a small scale, within us all. Every day, the self is put together and let go of again.

Mental breakdowns often come from unsustainable pressures on a person. It could be a combination of many things over time, and/or a few big things coinciding. People may cope with a lot for a long time, and then find they are unable to continue coping. People may begin a breakdown following a shock, a major change of role or identity, or a death. Or it may be something less obvious, and it may take a relatively long time.

The person experiencing breakdown may have been lacking what they needed to deal with a situation, or had habits or beliefs that needed to change. Sometimes people are able to adapt and avoid breakdown, through choice or unconscious adjustment, but a lot of us need to hit a brick wall in order to realise that we must change something in some way, whether it's ourselves, our beliefs, roles, or circumstances.

Meanwhile, people around the sufferer also have the change to recognise that things were unsustainable and to be part of making the right changes.
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Image by Craig - Sycamore Gap - 'the Robin Hood tree'

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Creators & Guests

• Ali Catramados - Host
• Joe Loh - Host
• Sam Ellis - Host

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