Reestablishing Boundaries and Self Care
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Jessie’s World Podcast – Episode 25, Re-Establishing Boundaries and Self Care
Hosted by Jessica Lambert – follow on Instagram @JessicaVibez
Jessie’s World is on Instagram @jessiesworldxo and our online community is www.jessiesworld.com
Re-Establishing Boundaries and Self Care – By Jessica Vibez
Intro (Jingle “do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, do do do do do love and light, welcome to Jessie’s World, you’ll feel alright. By Jessica Lambert / Jessica Tha Goddess)
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INTRO
Thanks so much for tuning into episode 25 of Jessie’s World Podcast – where we are dedicated to helping people connect with, nurture, and grow their inner gifts; achieve self-empowerment, and enjoy a life of love, light, and authentic abundance. We inspire leadership and encourage legacy building that improves human lives and our world.
If you are upwardly mobile, a go getter, and committed to improving yourself and your life this is the podcast for you. I am your host Jessica Vibez with a Z, bringing you weekly episodes every Sunday and Wednesday to help accelerate your personal and professional development journey. Be sure to follow me on IG and tap into our live sessions where we interact and do some transformative work together right in the live.
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Before we get into our main topic, we of course have Tessy Time where my sassy alter ego takes over the podcast to pose thought provoking questions, raise social issues, and just plain rant – enjoy.
I have been reflecting on Black History Month and trauma.
As a parent, and as a BiRacial female I recently noticed the impact media reports have on my personal mental health. I imagine it is a modern version of publicly wiping a run away slave (or worse) to drive home the point that we better stay in line.
I know that these reports make me uncomfortable. They introduce a subconscious fear that impacts my day to day comfort, and when things are really bad they cause depression, anxiety, and isolation. I feel like no one is discussing or addressing the mental impact of pervasive systemic and socio economic issues that affect many North American Black people, and the impact of violence, no matter who is inflicting the violence, on our psyches.
I don’t know what the solution is, but I do believe that an open discussion, and a search for resources and answers, support and love, understanding and change is needed.
I also realize that you do not have to be Black to be impacted this, you could be the white parent of a Black child like my mother is, or you could be a human of any race and background that is empathetic, loving, and understands hurt and wants it to stop.
My personal mission is to create sources of love and light in the world and share that authentic energy with others. I do not come from a divisive perspective, how could I, after all I am both White and Black. I come from a perspective of empathy having felt the trauma response myself… I come from a loving internal longing for true change, and for support that facilitates healing on a deeper level that I personally have seen or experienced. If you have felt the same way DM me @JessicaVibez on Instagram and let’s start discussing solutions for a safer, happier, mentally healthier tomorrow – one love.
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Main Topic – Re-Establishing Boundaries and Self Care
Most people think of boundaries as a set it and forget it action they need at the beginning of their self-care journey. However, if you are anything like me, boundaries need constant re-evaluation, and re-setting.
Over time, people, places, and things will try and encroach on your boundaries. Trimming here, and slicing there, until you are no longer the focal point of your world. This is goal achievement suicide.
A compromise here and a re-schedule there can eventually turn into a void land of obscure dreams floating around with the tumble weeds of regret.
So, how to de ensure we keep our self-care journey on track, and ensure maximum wellness in all areas of our lives?
Worry not, help is on it’s way… SELF-HELP!
Yep, you allowed the displacement of your boundaries, and you are going to have to do the work to put them back together again…but I am happy to guide you.
Step 1 – KPIs, you know when people say “you are the CEO of your life…” THIS is what they are speaking about. In a company you work for, you would be called in periodically (weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, semi-annually or even annually) to review your goals and corresponding KPIs (key performance indicators) and see how well you are doing at achieving your goals (and indicators) by the dates projected.
So, is the same for your life. I recommend doing weekly or monthly check-ins with yourself (depending on how long it takes to make traction in your specific goal areas). For example, let’s say you have the personal goal of loosing 5 pounds a month, that is a very easy KPI to measure and track, so month 1 you check and you only lost 3 pounds, you have enough time to reflect on what you have been doing and see where you can improve to get on track for the following month. On the other hand, if you wait for six months and find out you have gained 10 pounds well, you have lost half the year and are already behind in the game. Now you have to figure out WHY you gained instead of lost and instead of reflecting on a month or a week, you have a whole 6 months of potential issues to try and figure out – not an idea way to approach achieving success and living with excellence.
So if you have not already done so, jot down your top 3 goals this year for self-care, and for professional development. For example I want to launch my first online course, produce an additional podcast weekly, and hit the treadmill an hour a day.
Now next week if I didn’t hit the treadmill and hour every day I need to evaluate why. If my course isn’t published I need to identify what has stood in my way.
Which brings us to the next step.
2. Identify Roadblocks – even if you are hitting all your KPIs, this only means you can do better still. So, what is standing in the way of your doing even better?
For me, I know that I give a lot of time away to others. As an empath and a generally helpful person I can spend a lot of time being a good Samaritan and as nice as that is, it does not pay the bills.
I have also been known to spend a little too much time watching Love Island ( #TeamTimmy Timmy Swerve) and Real Housewives of Potomac (Hi Gizelle Bryant, Hi Robin Dixon, Love you Ashley Darby, What Up Karen Huger, Whaaa Gwan Moniqe Samuels xoxo) and while those shows are enjoyable… they definitely do NOT help me achieve the level of success I am working to create in my life sooo, what to do to stay on track?
Identify Roadblocks, then…limit them.
3. Limit Roadblocks to Success
Notice I said LIMIT your road blocks, whether that means cutting them out completely or just cutting them down is up to you, but when it comes to the art of time management and success, rule 1 is carve out time for YOU and YOUR GOALS at all costs.
An easy thing to cut out is too much Netflix and Chillin and more Taking Courses, Listening to Uplifting Podcasts like Jessies World, and actually working on YO...
31 episode