66: When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession

No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:

• Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life.
• Feel truly sexually satisfied in the relationship.
• Help his wife feel safe, accepted, and loved.
• Quit porn by building a recovery mindset and lifestyle.

If you’re a spouse of a porn addict, this episode is also for you. You will gain a far deeper understanding of porn addiction, and (I hope) a compassion for your partner who is struggling with it.
You are not alone. You are not crazy. And you can both heal and get better, and I'll give you a path to do this step-by-step in this episode.

Understanding the Impact of Porn Addiction in Marriage

Many men and women are extremely concerned by the effects porn addiction has had on their marriage.

Here are some of the questions and concerns men in my program have had about quitting porn and their marital sexual relationship:

• “I find my wife to be very beautiful. So why do I keep going to porn and masturbation? What’s wrong with me?”
• “Is looking at sexual videos/images of my wife considered porn?”
• “Can having sex with my wife fuel my porn addiction? After all, don’t I want to be ‘addicted’ to my wife? Isn’t that a good thing?”
• “When I have sex with my wife, I feel the addict part of me emerge. This is very discouraging for me. It almost makes me not want to have sex with my wife anymore and risk activating the porn addiction wiring in my brain. What should I do?”
• “My wife says that I want to have sex with her too often. But I’m a man, so I want to have sex more than she does. Isn’t it reasonable for her to accommodate that need and have sex with me a little more often than she might prefer? After all, I am her husband.”
• “I don’t find my wife very attractive. I see that as a major reason for my addiction to porn. If she just [lost some weight, exercised, took better care of herself, dolled herself up, etc.], then I wouldn’t have a need to go to porn.”

We address each of these questions in today's episode.
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No More Desire