Speak Up Now and Say What You Mean | Oren Jay Sofer

Sidewalk Talk

Have you ever thought about walking a balance beam, or a gyroscope, or a tightrope walker? One is continually thrown off balance, but is every time instantly hit with the need to readjust and maintain poise. Equanimity is just that- the practice of balancing one’s mind to contain and open up to pain and discomfort while tuning it to revert to calmness.

In a moving episode today, Traci is joined by Oren Jay Sofer, founder and Guiding Teacher of Next Step Dharma, an innovative online course focused on bringing the tools of meditation to daily life, and co-founder of Mindful Healthcare. He is also the author of the book “Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication”, and has created mindfulness programs for a number of organizations, companies, and apps.

Growing up with a mentally ill-family member, Oren was faced with the obligation to stay pretentious of his feelings and needs. And when things started falling apart in multiple ways, Oren turned to meditation and spirituality. Listen in as Oren expounds on his directional journey learning from his Buddhist teachers in India, understanding pain, empathy, humanity and non-violent communication, and housing the deep well of pain inside ourselves while generating equanimity to stay from decentering our thoughts. Oren has also shared how important it is to be willing to hold discomfort- for if we are seeking to transform the society, then no part of our action should come out of control and reactivity.

Understanding society for its diversity and disproportion, and sitting down to listen to each other could phenomenally transform our relationships with people. We hope the power of Oren’s words reflect in each of your lives, and modulate all your thinking for the better!

Episode Timeline:

• [00:09] Intro
• [00:58] Meet Oren Jay Sofer
• [03:32] Understanding Oren’s early life
• [08:11] How Oren was introduced to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s works
• [16:20] How Oren sees the injustice happening around American culture today
• [12:34] Maintaining balance between the relationship and her business
• [21:04] Understanding the need to house discomfort
• [23:46] Understanding equanimity
• [27:19] Training ourselves to see beyond the surface perceptions and judgments
• [31:43] How to view differences and diversity
• [36:25] Oren’s advice for you
• [38:07] Outro

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg: Non-Violent Communication

Standout Quotes:

• “It's an awareness practice that helps us to transform the way we understand and relate to ourselves, other people and the world, through the lens of language and thought, and in many ways, it helps us to unlearn a lot of the socialization process that I was referring to earlier.” – Oren Jay Sofer [08:24]
• “My practice is finding enough nourishment in life through anything and everything, moments with my partner, my own meditation, practice gratitude to my teachers, the beauty and nature.” - Oren Jay Sofer [18:06]
• “If we can't be with our own discomfort, then there is a part of our action in our response that is coming out of reactivity and control.” - Oren Jay Sofer [21:52]
• “And part of being deeply in touch with life means opening to discomfort and pain because that's what it is to be human.” – Oren Jay Sofer [24:48]

Connect:

Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast

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Find | Traci Ruble

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On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT

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Find | Oren Jay Sofer

At orenjaysofer.com

On Instagram: @orenjaysofer

On Facebook: @OrenJaySofer

On Twitter: @orenjaysofer

On YouTube: @Oren Jay Sofer