S10E4 - I Make Myself Feel... The Golden Spoon podcast

20d ago 47:06

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A common refrain of toddlers and adults alike is, “You made me so angry.” Or “You made me so sad.” Or “Because you acted that way, you made me act this way back to you.” It’s a version of, “The devil made me do it.” It’s a complete lack of personal responsibility and doomed to you being at the effect of your life and the behaviors of others. Ultimately, we are all 100% responsible for our own feelings and reactions (or responses) to others. In abusive relationships, it’s not unusual to hear the abuser say something to the effect of, “She made me so mad and that’s why I hit her.” Think about that rationale for a minute. It makes the abuser both the victim and the innocent party when he (or she) is neither. People will say and do things that push our buttons, but we are the ones holding the buttons. We get to choose if we get angry, and what we do with that anger.
How to Take Responsibility for Our Emotions
It’s a tough concept to swallow because it means taking full responsibility for how we show up in each and every situation in our lives. It’s also not as much fun as blaming others. (Insert sarcasm here.) When we experience any emotion, we are responsible for that emotion and also for what we do behaviorally due to that emotion. That’s a lot of responsibility!
Again, this doesn’t mean that we allow people to abuse us or treat us unkindly. It’s anything but. We still want to ask for acceptable behavior from others such as kindness and respect. The difference is that we ask for those things because we want healthy, reciprocal, loving relationships and not because we can’t manage our own feelings that come up when things get uncomfortable.
This week we would like to highlight How We Feel if you would like to learn more or donate click here https://donorbox.org/how-we-feel
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The 988 Lifeline
988 is now active across the United States. This new, shorter phone number will make it easier for people to remember and access mental health crisis services. (Please note, the previous 1-800-273-TALK (8255) number will continue to function indefinitely.) https://988lifeline.org/