#404 How To Remove The Nay Sayers

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Overcoming Naysayers: Your Path to Success

Ever felt held back by those who say you can't achieve your dreams? In this episode, we tackle how to deal with naysayers and turn their negativity into your driving force. Through two compelling personal stories—one from my own life and one from my son's—you'll discover how to transform your dreams into reality and live the successful, rich life you deserve.

We'll cover:

• How to recognize and push past the negative influences in your life.

• Personal anecdotes illustrating the impact of naysayers and how to overcome them.

• Practical steps to maintain your focus and motivation despite external negativity.

You'll learn:

• How to decide for yourself and not let others dictate your success.

• The importance of surrounding yourself with supportive individuals.

• Techniques to anchor positive feelings and use them to propel you forward.

By the end of this episode, you'll be equipped with the mindset and tools to ignore the naysayers and achieve your goals. Ready to take control of your destiny?

Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/404-how-to-remove-the-nay-sayers/

Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So. So, hey, welcome to the longer podcast. Who decides, who decides what we can do? And how do you avoid the old naysayers? Hey, nay, you can't do that.

I'm going to tell you a couple of stories first about comics

I'm going to tell you a couple of stories first, because I think it's really important that we are, able to do the things we love, create our dreams without people bringing us down, not supporting us, in fact, trying to change our mind. So here's the thing. Two stories. The first one, it's, about me. You see, I used to love Saturday mornings because Saturday mornings, this is when I was, I don't know, eight or nine year old about that. And I love Saturday mornings because on Saturday mornings, my mum and dad used to take me to the local market. It's a little way away, but sort of local. And it had one store that I loved going to. And it's all about Marvel comics, you know, the Superman comics, DC Comics, because I wanted to be an artist. An artist for the. The Marvel comics, to draw with them, to do things. And I really so desperately wanted to. I used to draw at home. I remember even when I had one called the Cloverman with a hat with a big clover on the front. it was so good. Well, the drawing wasn't, but I was only eight. Be fair. I really wanted to do it. And you see, I even got to being first in my senior school for art. I was so pleased with myself. And then it suddenly disappeared. I went from first to nowhere.

Joseph became a master hypnotist at the age of 18

Second story, about my son, my youngest son, Joseph. See, Joseph again, very young, youngish, certainly before senior school. And his school teacher, I asked him to stand up in front of the whole class and asked him a question and said, and he started to get embarrassed. If you don't know the answer this, you will do no good at school, no good at senior school, and you won't learn anything. And he didn't know the answer. And his schoolwork just dropped off everything. He just seemed to go through the motions of going through school and he went to a bit of further education and things like that, but not really pushing himself. But then someone believed in him. Then he got an opportunity, and from that opportunity he became a master hypnotist. At, the age of 18, he became one of the youngest trainers of NLP in the UK. He now has millions of downloads, millions. And we are talking about millions of downloads on the Internet for his, podcasts and all the stuff he does on personal development and mind mastery, mastering your own mind, getting rid of anxiety and that. He also has probably one of the biggest collections of hypnosis tracks online. Now, how did that happen? What changed from this little lad who was so unconfident to be able to speak in front of hundreds of thousands of people, to create all this stuff, to go live, do live podcasts three times a week live. It's incredible. I'll tell you what happened. And this is one of his stories, his true stories, that, he, I won't give you the whole story because he loves the story and he loves telling it. But one night he was coming home on his birthday and everything was very, very quiet. And he got that message, got something inside, a feeling, because he'd been looking for something for so long. He'd been looking on the Internet, looking in books, looking in recordings, looking at, everywhere, and he still didn't make a difference. But then on that quiet night, something happened deep inside and it was like an aha moment, saying, you decide, you decide what you want to do and go for it, because you've got what it takes, you've got what you need, no one else, no one can stop you. And from there, that's where it all took off. And it wasn't overnight, but he got on. He did his hypnosis, he did a hypnotherapy practice with me. He got on, primetime tv, and now he does all this other work. You see, a bit like myself, I was told, and I know the difference, I was told, you're never going to make it, you're not good enough, competition is too high. Get a sensible job. Now, who told me? Well, there's a lot, too many people telling me things, but they're not me. But it stopped me for years and years and years, and I've getting back into it now, getting my passion a side passion, hypnosis. And this podcast and working with clients is my real passion. Helping change people's lives. But I've got my side passions now. And one of those is trying to get, not trying, getting back into art, slowly getting my confidence back, feeling the passion I had back then. Now you see the question we should ask ourselves, who created those realities, those years of not doing the things we wanted? Well, initially you could say it was those other people, the people who advise me not to do anything, you're not good enough. Or it could be that teacher who, told Joseph, if you don't answer this, don't know the answer, you won't get on. And we were impressionable, and it does go in, but they didn't cause that reality. They didn't create it. Because if they did, I would have to wait for the people who told me I'm not good enough to do all the stuff I wanted to do. And Joseph would have to wait for that teacher. Find them now and go, tell me I'm okay. So who decided? Well, we did. We both did. And I'm sure everyone else, everything you do, you decide. We don't think about it sometimes, but we do. And, you know, those negative beliefs, we can't blame those people for taking on those negative beliefs and negative emotions around that because ultimately we decided. We decided. But the thing is, what are we going to do about that? And a bit like Joe's aha, moment from that, that message, I think from his unconscious mind saying, now you've got what it takes. Just do give yourself a measure to do what you want. You see, you could put it, those naysayers, they're not you. They're not me. They're not you. They don't know you. They don't have your experience. They don't have your, you know, the similar paths. They don't have your dreams. They don't have your experience. They don't have your desire. So how the bloody hell can they give you advice? Because probably they haven't done it either. A lot of people who haven't done it, and they're generally the people who would have liked to have done what you do or you're planning to do, but they didn't do it. And it's like tall poppy syndrome. Cut that tall poppy off, bring everyone back in two. But it's your dreams, not their dreams. The dreams that they didn't get. The dreams that they didn't decide to do. And you see, when, if they had your experiences, they had your goals, your beliefs, they'd change. So if someone does give you that advice, you say, hell, no, I'm doing myself. So how do we deal with them? How do we deal with these naysayers? Because a lot of them, I guess, can be family and friends, can't they? M. Now, some advice you get is, well, cut these people out of your life forever. Well, some people you can cut out forever, but would you want to? Because it's another context, isn't it? It's just a context of your dreams, but there's other social interactions, connections, and I don't think you do. And certainly with family members, if you cut them out of your life, it can be so. But so terrible, I think. And you just need space, you see? You need space. So I want you to imagine this. Imagine that you have this circle and you have a circle of friends, and the ones at the edge of that circle are the ones you see now and again, the ones you wouldn't nod to. Yeah. Yeah. How you doing? And then as you come closer to you, they're your closer friends. The people you are with, you connect with, and this is connect with and take advice and things like that. And the closer they get, the more you respect them for that advice they give you. So instead of just cutting these people out your life, just think, I'm going to push you to the edge of that circle. so I will see you, but I'll see you on my terms. I'll see you. I will decide whereabouts I let you into my life because I'm not going to let you affect the decisions, my goals, my dreams, my success, creating a wonderful richness of experiences that I can carry on and just do whatever I want in that ecological way that it's good for you, good for others, and good for other, good for the world. And, even those naysayers, it can be good for the naysayers in as much as they get to see you as an example of what can be done, of what putting effort into dreams.

Goals can create a wonderful reality. So the thing is, what are you going to do

Goals can create a wonderful reality. So you do not let them have that place in the close proximity of you, but you push them out to the boundaries. You see, remember, they're not you and you are not them. So you don't need them in this close thing. And, the further they go away, the emotions disappear. The further they go away, their opinions just get quieter, and they don't count. So the thing is, what are you going to do once you've decided, and it's all about decisions, once you've decided to push those naysayers to the furthest boundaries, you decide what you really want. That's right. What you really want. and think, why is this so important to me? Why is this so important? You have a goal. Why is it so important to you to achieve that goal? Now, sometimes that can be quite difficult. I like you to write it down, but if you didn't write it down, you could think about it. But write it down first, if you could. So if it's really important to you, you really should be looking, really. I, suggest you write it down because it's always there. You can develop it. It evolves. You come away, you come back, you'll see, you'll get other insights. You learn things and you let it develop into something really rich. But each time you do that, this is the part. Just keep feeling. What would it feel like to having achieved it? And if it feels really good, you go, this is what I really want, then. Because if I got this feeling, life will be good. But if you think about, I want to do that. Well, actually, it's pretty balanced. Well, maybe you want to park it for a little while and, put your effort and your passion into the things that are going to give you that feeling. So what would it be like to have it right now? Imagine it now. Think of a goal that you're planning on doing, or think of a goal that you're right in now. And as you think and bring that to mind, think having just achieved the last step, what would it feel like? What would success feel like? And, what belief about myself would I have now? Right now, I've achieved this goal. I'm looking out of all the new opportunities that this. Having achieved the successful completion of this goal, what new opportunities? What new people would I meet? What would it allow me to do to express and feel that feeling? Think of the words you say to yourself, the belief you have about yourself. And as you feel that feeling, you could even squeeze a finger and thumb together to anchor it, anchor that feeling. So the next time you go to that project, you squeeze that same finger and thumb together and you fire off that feeling. And that will then pull you through. It will motivate you. You'll just want to get through it. You're not being pushed. You're being pulled by the wonderful feeling of success. And with that feeling, you can start to make a real plan. A real plan, you know? And it doesn't really matter if these goals are for your career or simply a, pastime, a hobby that you just got to enjoy for yourself, because you decide, because each one of these is going to bring you joyous, different qualities of joy, but it will bring you joy. The successful completion, the confidence you'll get. And the confidence comes when you have that feeling, because that's your intention. Once you know the feeling you're going to achieve or you're going to feel when you've finished and you've achieved the successful outcome, that's, in effect, your outcome. I intend to have that feeling. And you have that feeling through the whole project. Why have it just at the end? How better, would it be to, as you go through achieving your goals, creating your reality, that you feel that wonderful feeling of success all the way through? Wouldn't it make it richer? Wouldn't it make it better? Wouldn't you see different opportunities? Of course I think you would. But then, as you make those plans, make those little steps, what do I need to do? What's the smallest step I can do? We come back to the same thing. Start with small steps, and you fire off the anger. You feel, that feeling of the wish fulfilled, and then you commit to that small step, and then you do it, and you feel good for doing it. And then you commit to the next step. And the next step. Put it into your calendar, put it into a schedule, and notice how good each one feels. And when you do that, when you notice how good it feels, hey, you can feel gratitude. And, when you feel gratitude, it's like a connection directly into your unconscious mind saying, this is where we're going. This is what I want to feel. This is how good it is, how safe I am. Because when you're like that, you are totally safe. And your unconscious mind says, let's find more. Let's find so much more of the same. And by that time, where do those naysayers go? Well, they either came with you or you find they tend to disappear from your life. If they're like people who are maybe not your family, just at the end, they, disappear, but you just don't see them quite so often. Or if you do, you talk about other things because you don't give them permission to chip away. And so a lot of this is just giving yourself permission to go for it, isn't it? Decide, I'm going to go for this. This is my life. No one else can decide for me. That's the whole thing, isn't it? It's taking responsibility for everything you do. But especially when it comes to goals, especially when it comes to dreams of no one else can do it for you, and no one else can make you decide only you, you may have had experiences like myself and Joseph. Let's let them go and decide. If you still want that type of thing. You go do it. Go do it with fun. but imagine having already done it. What would that feeling be?

Go find people who have done it before. That's the best thing. Can you give me some advice

And then use that as your foundation. You see, you have that inner belief. I will never let anyone stop me again, not stop me from achieving. They're not going to stop me from striving for what I dream for. And then you'll start to. When you do that, I believe you start to attract the people that support you. And you feel good and they feel good. Little planet earth feels good, and then you do more. And you never know quite where it's going to go now, because we've talked about that little submarine with that tiny little blip blip where you're now seeing so much more. You're taking those opportunities that come your way because you now know as they come along, you go, that's going to enhance this feeling. And therefore I'm going to take it. That's what we're going to do. Hey, I hope that inspires you to ignore, unless someone has actually done it before and says, when I did this, I crashed and burned because of this. You can take that experience and mitigate it because they're giving you advice, but generally advice you want to ask for. I, know you've done this before. Can you give me some advice? Not the old naysayers saying, well, you'll never be able to do that. And if you just said to them, well, you know, where, what data? What are you saying? What are you basing that on? They're going to have no basis. Oh, well, that's just what I think. Well, go think somewhere else. Go find people who have done it before. That's the best thing. Find people who've done it before, because they'll tell you the things that didn't quite work and how they got over them. M and you utilize all their experience to, over the years to put it into a tiny little step in your timeline. So you learn from their mistakes as well as learning from your own mistakes because, and they're not really mistakes, they're just results. Results that what you weren't expecting, they weren't what you planned for. But we use those as stepping stones from learning.

Please share this episode, if you would. It'll make things so much better for everyone

I do hope I've, somehow, in this garbled little episode, given you some, hopefully some confidence to go out and achieve. Go out and show the world what you're made of from the inside. I'd love to hear your stories. So if you would let me know of either the things you're really succeeding at now because you took a decision, or if you're having problems and you want a little bit of help to get over that, you know, I've made a decision, but I need a bit of help because I'm maybe a little bit unconfident. I'm a little bit anxiety. Let me know that too, and we'll come up with an episode or a process for you. How do you do that? Well, just email me. Suddenly comes to me. It's feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged.com, and you'll get a personal answer from me, as everyone else does, and it doesn't go anywhere else other, than me and back to you. That'll be great. And if you would, if you do see people being affected by the old naysayers, have a positive word for them. share this episode, if you would. Share what you've learned, share your experiences, the positive ones. So we affirm that they can, they can strive to get what they dream of. Yeah. Oh, you can subscribe as well if you want to, but please do share this, this episode or the podcast. It'll make things so much better for everyone. Thank you for your time, my friend. It's valuable, I know. but hopefully by sharing what we know together, we're going to make our lives richer and lives of other people richer. You have fun. Just enjoy every heartbeat, because it's time to fly.

Paul Clough advises leaving personal development unplugged

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]