Ep 338 Gaslighting or Emotional Invalidation? Understanding the Difference

Marriage Therapy Radio

Zach and Laura discuss the launch of their new book, Reconnect, and how couples can use it to improve their relationship.

They delve into an in-depth discussion on the concept of gaslighting, clarifying that it involves malicious, intentional manipulation—far different from the common emotional invalidation many couples experience.

Episode Highlights:

1. How to Use Reconnect: Zach and Laura suggest couples can work through the book slowly, section by section, or use it more casually, dipping into exercises or conversations as needed. They emphasize flexibility in how the book is used to foster meaningful conversations and connection.
2. Gaslighting vs. Emotional Invalidation: They break down the difference between true gaslighting and more common relational behaviors, like emotional invalidation. They stress that many couples mislabel situations as gaslighting when, in fact, they involve misunderstandings or disagreements about past events.
3. Parallel Universes Technique: Zach shares a therapeutic approach where he helps couples understand that their different realities may never align. He introduces the idea of “parallel universes” as a way for partners to acknowledge each other’s feelings without requiring complete agreement on the facts.

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